how do i heal her heart..........care so much abt her......

[serenityseekinglife]

she approached me 2 months back sayin she is quite fond of me. she tired her best to get me back on track and out of depression. one fine day the realization just struck on me that what she is doing definitely doesn't seem to be just f'ship....and i realised how much i care abt her and want to spend the rest of my life with her....

 

over the month i learned she had fallen for a married guy just 2 yrs back and it had ended hardly 10 months back. don't have much details except tht she went ahead as he was on his way to divorce but then he thot otherwise and sticked to his wife...now there seems no way they can get together....

 

gradually, i made it clear in a subtle manner tht i love her....she hasn't confessed her feelings if she has them....she told me to take things very slowly.......

 

i feel she is still feelin so hurt.....and must b missin him terribly....hell with my life and my happiness and my love for her....i want her to be the happiest person......

 

tell me how do i heal her heart? wht gestures wud make her feel better? n i don't intend to date her as of nw as she has asked for time....i understand she needs time......just tht in the meanwhile till she can decide abt us....wht should i do to make her feel better? just as a friend?

 

thanx a lot for readin my post....and wud b so glad if u can offer me some advice...

[Gilgamesh]

Well she needs time, time to mend and time to heal, just be a friend for now, the worst thing you can do right now is try and have something romantic with her.

 

Here are some tips.

 

* Avoid conversations about her ex, normally its good to talk these things out , but in your case, you do not want to be associated with those feelings. which brings me to the next point.

 

* Don't be her therapist, be her friend.

 

* Do stuff together, motivate her to change things, like, move the furniture around, paint the wall, get a new hairstyle etc. things that will keep her busy, and make her feel good about herself.

 

* Make sure she sticks to the No Contact rule, and doesn't try calling him, or "bumping" into him etc. remove anything that will remind her of him

 

* have her take a vacation or just head out to someplace she never been before.

 

* Buy some new music, see some movies (new ones).

 

* Have her join a club, get a hobby or join a class for something.

 

If you have a romance with her at this point it will interrupt the healing process, and that will effect your relationship negatively.

 

Just be patient, let time do its trick.

[serenityseekinglife]

hey thnx a million man. sure, i wud stick to ur advice. no romance as of nw. and no therapy. just be there for her as a friend. and will get loads of music for her as she loves it. and also some good books as again she loves reading. had already asked her to go to a museum with me....but she never replied.....so i guess she doesn't want to go out anyplace with me......and for the same reason i am slightly apprehensive if she wud get irked if i give her gifts.....sud i give CDs n books? i also want to give her flowers? do u think tht wud really irk her and i sud avoid doin nethin tht mite mean romantic to her.....

 

once again thnx a lot for writin in such detail....sud help me a lot.

 

tk care,

best wishes