Everytime I start eating healtheir, my sister puts me down!

[ImGrowing]

She either tries to sabotage my new diet, by buying all my favorite junk food. She normally wouldn't eat those foods, but she knows that I find it hard to resist them, so she buys them!

 

She also tells me I'm crazy or when I start to lose weight, she tells me I'm too skinny and need to eat more. I am borderline overweight, so when I do lose weight, I am no way anorexic looking, just skinnier. Yet, she finds ways to make me look bad.

 

I know a lot has to do with jealousy, but it's very frustrating. She's overweight, so I don't think she wants me to lose weight, although she teases me when I am fat. She likes to point out all my flaws. She will point out ANYTHING that looks out of place on my body, even in front of friends and family. It makes me sad, and it hurts.

 

I used to binge eat, and I confronted her about it. I told her, that I need her to be more supportive. She said that I was only binge eating to get attention. That hurt so much. I wish I had a sister who loved more than she does, or supports me more than she does.

 

I'm going to stick to my guns and continue my healthy eating though. I'm expecting a lot of bad talk from her. 2011 is going to be a rough year... *Sigh*

[sidehop]

Give her a hug and tell her you still love her when she puts you down. The more you react negatively to her manipulative behavior, you're only empowering her. Chances are when she realizes you don't care what she thinks and her effort is going to waste she may just change her mind.

[KittyBoo]

It is jealousy and fear. Try to encourage her to join you in your efforts but if she will not then just be strong in your resolve to do this for yourself.

[derroax]

You see that she has something to comment regardless of what you do! This is only proof that the problem lies with her, not with you - this behavior says something about how SHE is, not about how YOU are. So whenever you see her making one of those harsh comments, ask yourself "what's wrong with her?" instead of "what's wrong with me?". In fact, a great way to confront them about it, is by making them aware about their behavior. When she says something inappropriate, respond with "Are you ok?" this way she will realize that you obviously think that her behavior comes from inside of her, not triggered by something you did.

 

Remember that you can't change people's behavior. You can only change how YOU react to their actions. You can either let your sister be your sounding board and let her dictate your confidence, or you can start finding healthier thoughts, more realistic standards and surround yourself with people who are not bitter, frustrated and empty. It sounds like she has it a lot worse than you do and that she can't deal with the way her life is so, if anything, it sounds like *she* could use your support to help her accept her life and love herself the way she is.

[EmotionalCreature]

Reactions to her actions are what she's after. You're the only one in control of your life now, and in the future. If you give in to these little trick you'll end up regretting it and losing control of you life in a long run and hold resentment towards your own family member.

 

Take control of it now, it's all about you not her. Your sister sounds like she needs help herself. By the way, aim to look good and don't aim to get skinny. Men in the real world don't find girls that resemble stick figures attractive.

[ImGrowing]

She tried putting me down again. I ate a salad for breakfast. and 2 hours later, I got a snack and sat at the table with her, her husban, and son. I just wanted to sit with them. Then she tells me "didn't you eat earlier?" I said yes, I ate a salad. Then she says "Doesn't Denise look so good! She's so skinny." She's a cousin of ours who's the same age as me. She lost so much weight after having 2 kids. She does this, because I gained so much weight, and I am not FAT. I responded with "she does! She's so lucky, because she can eat almost anything and still stay thin." the I started talking about her sister and how she's skinny too etc. She didn't really say anything after. So, I knew she just wanted a reaction out of me. She wanted me to feel like crap. Why? Why does she do that to me? I'm her own sister? I really need to start avoiding her.

[MakeItCount]

That's pretty toxic. Clearly she's extremely insecure with herself and doesn't want to see you succeed because then it'll make her feel even worse about herself. You either sit her down and talk about this, or you stay away for a while. Get in the habit of eating healthier like you have, then worry about her later. This is not doing you any good.