I'm Picky now. I can't trust anymore. I think I'll be single forever. . .

[ImGrowing]

My ex had a lot of flaws that I overlooked. It was a part of who he was, and I loved him unconditionally. He saw something he didn't like about me and bailed. . .

 

I think a guy is going to have to prove that he's worth it. It's not going to be easy. Thanks to my ex. *sigh*

 

This is too depressing sometimes, but I'm preparing myself mentally, just in case I do stay single forever.

 

anyone feel this way sometimes?

[hear_her_roar]

I understand how you can feel that way, definitely.

 

BUT! I'm of the opinion that being picky is a good way NOT to be single forever! If you hold out for someone you think is just fantastic, then you have a better chance of meeting that person when you're single and available. How tragic would it be if the perfect partner for you comes along, sees that you're with someone else (even if you don't like that person), and writes you off because you're unavailable?

 

I think it's super healthy to know what you want and be choosey.

[DN]

It is usually a mistake to project what happened with an ex on to potential partners as people are not the same - expecting them to be is self-defeating.

[petite]

I think it would be wiser to get over the ex first or try to at least, before thinking that all men are the same. If you look at it, most relationships we have don't end for the same reasons, because every man and woman are different.

[ImGrowing]

I totally understand that I shouldn't expect other guys to be like my ex, but I know think I deserve the best. I am no longer settling... and that's what I did. The one I'm going to be with is going to have to meet ALL my the needs on my list. My ex probably only made 3 out of 10. I still loved him though. But, I'm not going to be picky... I deserve that.

[DN]

The one I'm going to be with is going to have to meet ALL my the needs on my list.

Depending on what those needs are you could find it difficult to accomplish that. It is not wise to go from accepting too little to demanding too much.

[generaldiscord]

I understand how you are feeling.

 

The thing is, when you treat yourself like the footrag of the relationship, you aren't the only one who isn't properly respecting you. Your guy never hears a single word against himself, and every complaint he has about you is admitted and apologized for and corrected. You start with a fairly normal person, and he turns into a giant ego.

 

All the time there are posts here from people who do this. They have long stories, where their partner did x, y, z for years, and now their life is much more difficult, and all they want is for their partner to stop doing something trivial, and they won't. Or their partner wants them to change something they can't or won't. Well, for years that person has never been wrong! They don't know that x, y and z made your life difficult, because you did them willingly! They didn't no the entire list of bothersome things they were doing, because nobody told them!

 

My short point is, respect your own wishes. If something bothers you, speak up. If you don't agree with something, complain.