First clear thoughts. Any advice on how to keep them?

[SmilingKatty]

Few days ago I woke up in the morning and was in a great mood. The ex seemed very lame, him having a girlfriend didn´t bother me at all and I was feeling very happy.

 

But by the evening the good mood was gone and sadness returned.

 

Does any of you have similar experience? Or any advice on how to keep the "good mood" longer?

[CSLX9]

How about... Smiling

[justpeachy]

I'm in the same place right now. Be proud of the fact that you're taking baby steps; I feel like it has to start small. I definitely go through times where I think I'm fine with him moving on and feel like a strong, confident woman who can get any man she wants, but then something will happen that triggers me to start thinking about him again and idealizing the situation. I'm not sure if that's what you're doing, but one thing that might help is if you can try to stop yourself from idealizing the situation and your ex. I know it is beyond hard and sometimes just impossible, but what you're doing is a step in the right direction. I feel your pain; this heartbreak really, really sucks.

[The_Seeker]

Yea I used to be like. I let my feelings run through without controlling. The more you're controlling it the longer it takes you to get over it.

 

Do lots of things fun. You have to get out there when you don't even want to. Don't wait for it to be over. Do something to get it over.

[SmilingKatty]

but then something will happen that triggers me to start thinking about him again and idealizing the situation. I'm not sure if that's what you're doing, but one thing that might help is if you can try to stop yourself from idealizing the situation and your ex. I know it is beyond hard and sometimes just impossible, but what you're doing is a step in the right direction. I feel your pain; this heartbreak really, really sucks.

Thank you I don´t even know, if it is a heartbreak still - it has been over for more than 8 months. But it still annoys me and makes me sad...

And you are right - it is difficult for me to remember the bad things in the end of the relationship and I concentrate only on the beginning of it... It just sucks!

 

Yea I used to be like. I let my feelings run through without controlling. The more you're controlling it the longer it takes you to get over it.

 

Do lots of things fun. You have to get out there when you don't even want to. Don't wait for it to be over. Do something to get it over.

 

not controlling? That sounds very differently from what I have heard before... But I give it a try!

BTW - I am doing a lot of things to get it over...

I even think, that I am in love with (and probably also love) someone else (we started to date quite a long time after the previous breakup, so I hope it isn´t a rebound thing...).

But I still get sad, when I think about the ex, and it annoys me so much! I think it is just an ego thing, but still...

[The_Seeker]

The more you control your tears, the more it will hurt.

 

If you let out all your emotions and tears for the few weeks, you will get lost hurt and come to realization, screw it I better get my act together type of attitude.

 

Don't reserve your emotions or else you'll explode.

 

You're still in love with your ex. It's okay. Create your own adventure.

[coolchick64]

Yeah, Seeker's right. Better to let it out if it hits you like that. I think it happens because there are layers of understanding, letting go, revising your life, etc. As your mind works through the layers, you may feel at peace for a while until you hit a rough patch---something new that needs to be processed. Just ride it out. Know that the good times will get longer and the setbacks will become less frequent.

[The_Seeker]

Yeah, Seeker's right. Better to let it out if it hits you like that. I think it happens because there are layers of understanding, letting go, revising your life, etc. As your mind works through the layers, you may feel at peace for a while until you hit a rough patch---something new that needs to be processed. Just ride it out. Know that the good times will get longer and the setbacks will become less frequent.

 

Thank you for agreeing with me. LOL I'm learning more about life than I am in college.

[SmilingKatty]

Thank you all! I really hope, it will get better (it should have happened long time ago, but that´s just me overanalysing everything...).