Watching a movie...

[TommyBoy27]

I just moved from the states to Ontario, Canada to be with my fiance. We did the long distance thing, now we are together. However, she is staying at her parents about an hour south because she has a job down there and we need the money.

 

My problem is this. Ever since I have been up, about two weeks. We have gone out once. Been together about 6 days or so. And 5 of them all she wanted to do was watch tv for she was "tired" Yet she goes out with this one guy at least 3 or 4 times a week. We are going through some problems, and I have gained a lot of weight over the last year. And she has told me she's not physically attracted to me. I understand that, but she is still with me and wants to work through it. by me losing weight. but she's always witht his guy, and I feel as if she goes out with him because she is attracted to him. not that she is doing anything, but she gets those "feelings" when she is around someone who you are attracted to. which she cant get from me. how do i confront her. i want to ask her if anything is going on. i dont believe anything is she is just with him because he offers her something i can not at this time. she says she loves me and that she can have male friends. she has before. and this i know. but they do stuff like, go to the drive in theater, comes home at 4:30 while im at her parents, goes to dinner and a movie. then wine tasting? to me those arent things "friends" do am I right? I am just really confused.

 

Any help I will give you a beer....okay! how about ill drinkke one for you : )

[ComputerGuy]

It could bepossible that they are just friends, I've got a female friend who I'm not the least bit interested in, and we do all the sort of things you mentioned (wih the exception of wine tasting, she hates wine). I wouldn't read into it too much. As you said you haven't been feeling the best lately and it's been my experience that when you are depressed you only see the negative.

 

Try and look on the bright side and see the positive things, hope that helps.

[Jamiegirl]

honestly I have to say that I think she is into him. Thats what it sounds like. She loves you but like you said is not attracted to you and shes spending time with him because he is attractive. But if you have told her that this makes you feel uncomfortable that she is seeing him more than you, then she should beable to respect that and stop seeing him. Because I have read up on men and woman friend ships and most of the time one or the other is isnot in it for the friend ship they want something more.

 

Good Luck

[TommyBoy27]

like tonight, she worked from 11 am - 5 pm then went over to his house. i called and she said they were watching "goodfellas" and she would call me later....well

 

 

goodfells just happened to be on cable here from 4-7 pm! it's 10:45 and she hasnt called yet. apparently his parents are there from arizona visiting as well. so what could they be doing? are his parents even there?

 

 

man....sometimes relations SUCK

[Lily04]

Hey,

 

I also think that she probably likes this guy more than just 'friends.' I think you should tell her how you feel, although she may counter back that you're just overreacting & such. But telling her that you're trying to lose weight & be more attractive to her, and that you want to know what she feels for this other guy may help bring more honesty into the relationship. I know if my boyfriend were doing the same thing I'd ask what's up..I don't think it's too far-fetched.

 

Good luck to you though, and hope everything works out!

 

Take care,

 

sparrow

[Jamiegirl]

I think you should lose this girl, if she really cared about you she would love you for who you are on the insie not the out side, Im really sorry you have to experience this because it really sucks. I have been through this. Shes just dragging you along. There is always someone out there that is better for you.

 

Dont worry be happy

-bob marley

 

That what you have to say to yourself

[kungfumaster]

Hey,

 

Welcome to Ontario! You moved to be closer to her from the States, and in the first couple of weeks, she is acting like this??. There has got to be something up. Please talk to her - be honest, and tell her how YOU feel. Use "I" messages - don't use "you" messages, like "I feel...", instead of "you make me feel like..". "You" messages sound to accusatory and feels like an attack. "I" messages are more better.

 

I'm sorry this is happening to you. You have showed how much you love her by moving closer to her, and you DO deserve more than this. I hope this friend is really a friend.

 

Take care.

Kung fu

[Cecelius]

I sense zero loyalty and a lot of selfishness -- not a receipe for success. My vote, if you are game, is to let her know calmly that no matter what, this isn't doing it for you and she is acting inappropriately. Then drop her, move back home and get on with your life

[slc333]

This does not sound like a normal relationship to me. Much less the appropriate thing for a fiancee to be doing. She sounds like she is being tremendously disrespectful. I would not stand for that type of treatment. You definitely need to talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Seeing a guy friend on occasion is probably not a big deal, but hanging out this much cannot be good. Stand up for yourself bro, before you waste anymore time on her. It may end up just fine. But you deserve to know what's going on and deserve to be treated with respect if she is your fiancee. Just be honest.

 

Good luck! Sorry this is happening to you right now. But you WILL get through this!