Been too nice is bad? new gf still hurt from the past.

[Akaladas]

Sorry for the long post >

 

I haven't been to active on the forums since I was healed from my last breakup 3 months ago. but now i have concerns with a new girlfriend I have now.

 

We got together pretty quick, somehow we just 'clicked' ? we felt really happy being together and would spent all day and night with each other. She was in a 2 months relationship with another guy, and was dumped by him around 2 weeks ago. Potentially I could be a rebound for her, but she told me I was the first guy to actually ask her out, and she answered me with a kiss which means a 'yes'. And all these other things that makes me ‘stand out’ in her eyes.

 

Anyway, the problem is that her previous bf was a * * * * and never went official with her, simply thought of her as a friend with benefits. And the breakup was ugly too, and two days later his with another girl. She was obviously very upset, and she said he took so much away from her, that she feels there’s no love left inside her now, and can only like me to an extend because of that. She sounds unsteady and perhaps hasn’t moved on yet. Does that mean we won’t work out? Or should I leave her alone for a while (end of year holidays are coming up and she’s going away, 2 months, though we do plan to see each other) and let her think through? We both share this really close friend and he said she’s really grateful of my support to her etc that I should keep up what I’m doing and just give it time. She doesn’t want to lose me, but doesn’t want to disappoint me either.

 

One of my friend says I should continue to do what im doing now supporting her, my other friend says I shouldn’t be too nice otherwise she won’t be attracted to you?

I’m really confused as to what I should do; I really like this girl and starting to love her too. Please give me some advice guys and girls.

[punk76]

too nice, my favorite topic. listen, everyone has a past and a mountain of excuses. girls like nice guys, but what they really like are guys who take control of things.

 

ill put it this way. do you think this girl would want to bang your brains out if she knew you posted this? probably not. get off the computer and go have sex.

[His Annamchara]

I was in the same situation as your new gf a few months ago. It will be difficult for both of you but if you push through it I'm sure you'll be fine. It will be a lot of work though so if she's worth it to you (and from what I read above it sounds like you really like her) then I'd say go for it.

 

I would be nice but also show her that your the man for her (right now or what have you). Take initiative, take her out and show her that the other guy was scum and that she wasn't treated correctly.

 

Hope this helps

[Rally]

too nice, my favorite topic. listen, everyone has a past and a mountain of excuses. girls like nice guys, but what they really like are guys who take control of things.

 

ill put it this way. do you think this girl would want to bang your brains out if she knew you posted this? probably not. get off the computer and go have sex.

 

Brilliant.

[Akaladas]

Well we kind of had a proper discussion last night, she said she see me more as a friend and right now she doesn't want to be in a relationship, or not ready to be in one because the gap between her breakup and this new relationship is too short, and we only really just talked to each other for 2 days. I told her how i felt, she wanted a mutual agreement of just been friends now, i said okay. She said the more we talk about it the more she wanted to be just friends so yeh... :S

 

Now what? leaver her alone and go no contact or

[punk76]

i am shocked that she insists that you be friends. SHOCKED. take this fling as a learning experience. approach the next girl with a little less analysis and a little more penis.

[Day_Walker]

I would respect her wishes and be friends with her, but the kind of friends that dont really speak to or contact each other

[His Annamchara]

she has just had a breakup which can be a really emotional time for a girl so I would ask her what she wants to do contact wise. Continue to be friends and I would say light contact until she tells you otherwise. If she's for you she'll come around and if not you've gained a friend