Have you ever got back with your ex?

[Satch]

Hi,

 

I'm interested (as many others here would be as well) to hear stories of ex's who got back together with each other. Things that would be interesting to know include:

 

* how long you were together initially

* why you broke up, and who dumped who

* how long you were apart

* how did you get back together

* what did you do to get back together (strategies etc)

 

I'm in a situation presently where my gf left me because she fell out of love with me, but doesn't really know why. I feel that she is confused, as there are a number of external factors in her life at the moment (no guys though). And I pray for the day that we get back together.

 

This information may shed some light on the likelihood of other hopefuls (like myself) of getting back together.

 

All input would be appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this post.

[street]

Together 4 years

She dumped me, still not sure why..still loved me etc!!

Apart 7 months

Got back on new years eve

No strategies as such….

Got back 5 months later to split again!!

 

So my experience is getting back together never works, but im sure in other cases it has worked!! So in the space of a year, I have split up twice and boy does it hurt!! It feels like for the last year ive been unhappy…im about 6 weeks into this split and n/c is the only answer..hope this helps in some way

[under_the_pressure]

I don't have one of those relationships that lasted for a long time but we were together a year. Me and "Mark" were together for about a year then I dumped him, reason...it was summer, we lived in 2 different towns and never got to see each other or talk on the phone anymore. We were apart for almost 9 months. When I went back to school I saw him everyday and I always loved him, I never stopped. I tried many times to get back with him but each time he used the phrase, "I don't want a girlfriend right now." It only hurt me because he said he loved me but didn't want me back. I never had to see him with another girl. Finally somwhere around April/May I walked up to him and said, "Mark, you know I love you and my life has pretty much been on hold for you. I need you to tell me that 1. you want me out of your life and there won't be a chance for us at *all* anymore or 2. you love me in return and want me back. He didn't say number 1. but didnt say number 2. exactly either. I didn't give up and finally I walked up to him one day and said, "This will be the last time I ask you to be with me, is it yes or no?" To my surprise he said yes. We were only together for a month this time. And he told me he loved me....etc. We had sex because I thought he cared for me and I knew I cared for him, and only 2 days after that happened he dumped me. Told everyone I wasn't good in bed and so on. It hurt but now, I have a great guy and I'm over that. There is my story!

 

 

~Under~

[wmlaw2005]

Satch,

 

Sorry to hear about your situation. I have an interesting story that may help you out. Over the last 4 years I have been going out with a girl, and we have broken up several times. We are primarily a long distance couple, since we go to different schools, but we've spent all of our summers together.

 

Three years ago, I broke up with her towards the end of the summer. I felt we weren't right for each other and that she was a little immature, and I thought it would be a final separation. She got very angry with me that night, but then we didn't talk for roughly a month. Finally, I saw her at a party at the very end of the summer, we talked a little, and then I got a call from her later in the night (she was a little drunk) saying that she missed me and wanted to get back together. I did miss her too, so ultimately I agreed and we began dating again. She implemented No Contact on me and it definitely was a success.

 

The next breakup was last summer, and she broke up with me. It was very odd - we hung out one night, had a great time, everything seemed ok, but then all of a sudden she called me when she got home crying and told me that she wanted to break up, because she could feel that we weren't right for each other. I have had problems with being on time to dates, not giving her enough attention, etc., and she felt that I didn't care enough about her. I was pretty hurt, but I basically said that she should do what she needs to do and that though I'll miss her, I'll understand. It seemed like the breakup was final, but just a few days later she contacted me via AIM and we started talking. We set up a date for the next night so that we could talk, and ultimately we got back together.

 

Finally, the most recent breakup has unfortunately occurred just about a week ago. Again, she brokeup with me, and now it seems really final. She told me that over the past month she has been thinking that this is the right idea, and that now is the time to do it. I didn't help matters, because instead of her coming to me to say this, I basically got this out of her while I was intoxicated on the phone. She seemed distant, and I said "What do you want to do, break up with me?" She admitted she did, and it all came out. Instead of trying to mend it, I actually completely agreed (because I have had doubts before) and I told her that the breakup should be like "ripping off a bandaid," where the pain is sharp but quick compared to a longer breakup. This was last Thursday. The next day I regretted all that I said, and I waited out the weekend for her to contact me, to no avail. I cracked, and text messaged her Sunday night, saying that I think we made a mistake. She was responsive and we planned to meet the next night to talk about us. Monday night we met, and she told me that she needed space, but she still loved me. She cried a few times but said that this was best for us, and she really wanted to carry through with it, and wanted to have closure to our relationship. I didn't overreact, but basically just said do what's best for her, and that I miss her and would love to have her back. Since then it's only been a few days, and I'm in the No Contact mode (i.e. deleted her phone #, talking to other girls, etc.). It's very tough, and I'm not sure where this will end up. I wouldn't be surprised if she comes back to me, given our past, but at the same time she seems a lot more resolute to carry this plan through. It's tough because we've been together so long, and she doesn't think I can change to care about her more.

 

I'll keep you updated as to what happens, but I've been researching and it seems like No Contact is the way to go. You're not going to get anywhere tyring to convince her or pleading with her to go out with you right after the breakup if she doesn't want to get back together. Not only that, but I think you hurt your potential chances by doing this as well. I think it's best to simply cut any lines of communication and give her the opportunity to come back to you. It's tough, because it seems so passive, but if she loves you, she'll come back. Basically, if there's a chance she comes back, those chances are diminished if you keep trying to get back together right after the breakup, whereas the chances are helped by not contacting her and letting her initiate contact. In the meantime, you got to move on with your life. Be as social as possible, do physical activity, and stay busy. After enough time you won't even care about the breakup and will be totally immune to it. This is what I'm trying to do now, and believe me it can be tough. But you have to make the most of what you got instead of dwelling on what you don't. Hope this helps.

[jenspen84]

hi,

 

i was with my boyfriend for 2 years and we were so close i couldnt see us eva breakin up, then when we both went to uni i became less interested and thereforeeee he bcame insecure n we bcame distant. he split with me december 03 and went to do wot he'd always wantd-travelling. i (stupidly) made evry effort to keep contact, phone letters etc. i put too much pressure on him when he came back in sept 03. i didnt speak much with him throughout the winter.. and after a while i heard he was asking after me.. how i was doin etc, i found out in march he was goin away til july ish (now).. so a psychic contact of mine advised me to call him and tell him i still loved him and that i knew he had to go but i had to tell him, n i said id b thinkin of him n that id see him when he returned. he didnt protest to it, just sort of 'ok'. it took a lot of courage to call him out of the blue and say. but im really happy with the way i left things with him, and have had no contact since, have left him alone this time... but now i am terrified of him returning, dont know wot to say how to act and what to expect.

if anyone could give their opinion id b very grateful

also, the main reason i have faith in us getting back together is bcos this psychic contact is sure of it happening. he has been successful with other predictions, am i dumb for believing it?

[DavidNetk]

I'm so glad I found this place.

I'm not going to write much right now, but I will come back and tell the rest later.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and needless to say that I love her more than anything, and now the thought that I will never see her again is killing me inside. On Friday she told me (after I asked) that she'll consider coming back to me, but that if the answer was no, she never wanted to see me again. I take it she gave me the answer right there. Today's Sunday and I haven't heard from her, but I'm so sure the next time I do will be the last time, and I love her so much I don't know what I'm gonna do without her.

 

I think one of the things that makes it really bad is that none of us have friends, so after we break up we are totally alone. No one to talk to or to go out with, at least to forget. So no matter what I try to do or where I go, I've been there with her and everything reminds me of her. I'm afraid she'll try to contact me today and that will be the last time I hear her voice. Like all of you have felt in the stories you told, I also thing this time is final.

 

God help me.

[Shizzle]

*how long you were together initially = 7months

* why you broke up, and who dumped who = i dumped her

* how long you were apart = 4 months

* how did you get back together = both decided to try again

* what did you do to get back together (strategies etc) = well i started a fresh, we just talking as friends, then writin notes and givin them inbetween lessons, then started going out with her at lunch, after about 2 months of this we both came up to each other and said it a litrally the same time, "am sorry can we start again" that was nearly a year ago were better then ever and we can actually say we love each other now, were also engaged so i think were true soul mates