anyone else had there ex be nasty to them after they break up with you?

[ned2010]

2 days after mine broke up with me she was horrible non-stop, she said she didnt care about me, i meant nothing to her, she dont want to be friends, she wants me out her life, she lied to me about everything, she loves another guy and he is more of a man the me

 

we had a long distance relationship which she wasnt comfortable with but she always seemed to be all over me when we was together, told me she missed me and always cuddling me

 

anyone else had this problem with an ex?

[ny guy]

2 days after mine broke up with me she was horrible non-stop, she said she didnt care about me, i meant nothing to her, she dont want to be friends, she wants me out her life, she lied to me about everything, she loves another guy and he is more of a man the me

 

we had a long distance relationship which she wasnt comfortable with but she always seemed to be all over me when we was together, told me she missed me and always cuddling me

 

anyone else had this problem with an ex?

 

Well, why did you break up? Need context.

[ned2010]

not 100% sure, big part was distance, but when we was together she seemed happy

[ForumGuy]

All I can say is that she doesn't see any harm in burning bridges. I had ex's like this when I was in grade school. Very inmature and unnecessary....unless you were mean to her first, then she may be getting some kind of revenge.

[sidehop]

I could see her acting out this way if you dumped her and in retaliation saying hurtful things; although I agree, it's a very immature thing to say either way.

[ned2010]

i got dumped, she didnt like the long distance, i feel she had doubts every time we wasnt together

[vivia12]

hey ned you need to read my postings if you want to knwo about nasty people,like Sean Connery up there said it best,it shows their immaturity. You're so better off without her

[LanceVanceDance]

It has happened to me in the past.

 

It was with a girlfriend who left me and understood I was not over her. She was deliberately mean and hurtful (even invented that she was seeing another guy, when she really wasn't) probably so I would just give it up.

 

And so I did, but I was hurt. It certainly wasn't the best way to go about it, but she didn't mean half of the things she said. She actually called me back some months later, saying sorry and that after all I may be the right guy for her, hinting that she may want me back. I had already moved on, so I didn't take her up on the offer. But this is proof she didn't mean the earlier nasty attitude.

[ToF]

Were all of these nasty comments from her out of the blue? Or did you say something to her first?

 

I just hope this "new guy" knows what he's in for...

[30yrold]

She doesn't like how guilty she feels over lying to you, and leading you on. She is transforming the guilt into anger, and basically blaming you for her feeling guilty.

[shandi]

Yeah, I dumped him and then almost three months later I get an email from him with a link to a plastic surgery clinic that specializes in the butt lift. He said he did it in response to an email from me for viagra. Turns out I have a virus on my computer that sent him the email. Valid reason, but still vengeful and immature.

 

You have to ask yourself why she's expending so much energy being this hurtful. If someone has moved on, doesn't care, and is happy with a new person, they probably wouldn't bother trying to hurt you. You need to burn this bridge too.

[SethSLC]

ya mine has been fairly mean at times. In the 2 months we've been broken up I've been kind to her, friendly, caring, happy around her (we work together). She will occaisionally "poke the volcano" she says because apparently this isn't the reaction she wanted that would have fit in her reality of who I am. She doesn't believe people can change and so apparently I'm a stranger to her now heh. Today was the last time we'll talk outside of work and she really tried to get me angry since she's got a lot of anger towards me for not acting how she expected, anger at herself I think for what she did etc, and she told me that she was hanging out with this guy who tried to break us up a few times.

 

I shrugged it off and said its OK. She didn't like that.

 

So ya...your ex will be mean sometimes. Especially if you aren't behaving how they expect, and if they are looking for a way to feel "correct" about their decision and in part vindicated. They'll do it in order to get an easy way out because if you react badly then they were "right" in the decision they made. Don't react to it and you'll come out the better person for it.

[AutumnBorn]

Read Uncoupling. It'll explain her behavior and the universal steps in breaking up. It's a hard read, but well worth it in the end.

 

Your ability to maintain your dignity and not take her bait must've got her blood boiling. A passionate, angry response like that means there was some passion there. Your unexpected response was excellent. She must've had a difficult time trying to appear or manage any level of sophistication or grace afterward. You did great.

 

It always stuns my ex into a moment of maturity when I respond to his insults or baiting with a soft but serious, "I have to run. Thanks for calling." He always calls again, but I know there's another horrific insult just down the road.

[vivia12]

omg thats weird Shandi,same thing happened to me a virus was sending all my contacts ad for Viagra,hope it sent it to cybr guy ex friend!

[SethSLC]

Yeah Autumn,

 

She like I said is carrying around a lot of anger. Anger towards me, as I'm an easy target, because I changed after she left when she needed it before. Anger at me that I'm not reacting how she wants so that she can feel she made the right decision and make it easier on her to move on. But I also think she's carrying around a lot of anger towards herself, for giving up, for "hanging out" *ahem* with the guy who tried to break us up during the 5 years we were together (ex best friend of mine) right after leaving me, and maybe for other stuff I just am not seeing.

 

My stubborn streak was kicked into high gear when she said she expects me to revert back to who I was (The only thing I've changed is actually showing the good emotions I've always felt but kept inside...the rest is the same) so in 6 months when I'm still the new me the jokes going to be on her heh.

 

Really I have no bad feelings for the girl, I still love her dearly, but I just feel bad for her. Sad for her. All in all it sucks big time that this is how things had to play out.