Can anyone relate to this?

[sonicfan287]

So surely, we've all been depressed before, either for a long time or a short time. In this case, my depression is pretty severe and because of a breakup... of course I dont understand it anymore, because the relationship was only 6 months and Ive spent 4 months mourning it... so essentially, I've spent almost half the time I've known this girl mourning our relationship. Even I think it's a bit much, but whatever.

 

The thing is, does anyone else find it harder to heal from something like this and just have a good time when all your friends seem to be happy? I know it sounds selfish and I feel horrible for thinking this way, but I just find myself feeling so inferior when I see people I know (or even just random people) able to talk about other things and laugh and have a good time and I remember I used to do that, and I get more and more frustrated with myself, which contributes to my self hatred, but I can't ask my friends not to be happy. They're only being themselves and I enjoy them for it, but I hate myself for feeling like there's something wrong with me.

 

I think I need a long break from everyone, until I'm ready to socialize again, because it's been a really long time, and all I want to talk about is my relationship which is beyond saving and I feel like I'm pushing everyone away. Has anyone else ever felt like this? And is it best to just cut ties with everyone for the time being?

[eatpraylove]

Nooo not a good idea to cut ties til you feel better in this case, that's called isolation and can actually make your depression worse. Also, def the depression is contributing to how long it is taking you to shake the r'ship mourning phase. Perhaps also examine the idea that maybe this girl touched on a nerve from your past that you never quite moved on from? Sometimes our mourning for a r'ship that we can't quite shake can be triggered by something else much deeper that we haven't allowed ourselves to examine. Like maybe your time with her, the issues you had, remind you of how you and your mother got along or she has alot of personality traits you found similiar to your sister...something along the lines of needing to heal from something in your past and having dated this girl triggered a deeper seated issue? Hope that doesn't sound too out there, but it's a thought and a very real thing that therapist discuss.

 

Aside from all this, are you on medication for depression? If so, you may want to consider an ajustment or perhaps something to take that can boost your current anti-depressant? Sometimes the anti-depressant alone isn't enough, esp during times like this. If you are not currently on meds, you may really want to consider seeing someone about your options. And with this, perhaps also seeing a counselor to talk some things out?

 

I have depression too and I do remember a time where it got so severe, I felt like I was always looking outside myself and at everyone else in the room, laughing and "being normal", something that made me feel horrible cos I thought I'd never feel that way again...I'd felt I fell into a big black hole and couldn't begin to figure out how to get myself out of it. But with the proper medication, counseling and then finding some things to keep me occupied....exercising (willing myself initially to do it....even a walk in the evening I could still appreciate the sunsetting and kids playing, even if I felt miserable otherwise), journaling how bizarre I felt, talking to friends, family, my counselor, geting plenty of rest, eating good, reading improvement books and books on other people's success beating depression on a dibiliating level....slowly I came out of the fog.

 

I hope so much that any one part of this has helped. Good luck and keep faith, be patient with yourself...there are some things beyond your control, you just have to do all you can to assist yourself in getting better.