Alright, I am totally confused.

[joshefch]

Alright, I am totally confused. My ex girlfriend broke up with me at the end of February. At the beginning of June she broke off all contact with me. At the beginning of July she started contacting me again on a regular basis, almost everyday. She has brought up that she has a new bf and told me she had lied to me about having a bf a month prior when she broke off all contact to get me to move on. She brings up her bf in conversation on a regular basis. I am not sure why. She asked if I wanted to get together for lunch, but every time she asks me she then comes back with an excuse like, I am too hungry I can't wait 30 min for me to meet her somewhere. Then she then says we will do it tomorrow. I am just not sure what is going on. She would never call me or contact me when we broke up because she didn't want to lead me on, but now she is contacting me everyday. And why would she start contacting me again now she has a new bf? She is very nice when she talks to me but always has to make a point what she has been doing i.e. going out with her bf. I am not sure what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Princess777]

Greetings.

 

She's messing with your head. She requires more attention than one man can give her at the moment. You're not doing anything wrong.... she sounds somewhat immature. To tell an ex about a current boyfriend is just something that you don't do unless you really don't care about their feelings. She either is very insensitive or is just immature. Try to find someone who's a better match, and don't always answer her calls..... let them go to voice mail and only cal her back when and if you feel like it, or just tell her straight up that you don't feel your relationship with her is productive and you wish to stop contact.

 

My opinion of course.

[Sweets4u42]

I definitely think she still has feelings for you, and when she brings up her new boyfriend, she is trying ot make you really jealous, and just hurt you even more. I wouldn't let it get to you, although she may seem nice, think9ing about it too much will jsut give you a headache

[joshefch]

I didn't explain some of the specifics. We had dated for 1 and a half years. She graduated form college and went back home 500 miles away. A little time later she broke up with me. She has lied to me about having a bf before and I am not sure if she is lying about this. She seems genuine when she asks how I am doing and is interested in what I have been doing! Still not sure. It feels like she is playing with me, but whats the point. She was done with me, she is the one who brought me back?

[donefor79]

Bro, lets be real if she is first of playing games with u. Second, she has cheated on a boyfriend before, y do u think u might be different. I mean that because think about those two actions combined and u know she is looking out for heself. She is obviously scared of lossing u and wants u around but dont get caught up in the games. Let her explain herself to u, if u think its b.s. it probably is. I never liked cheating g.f. at all or just cheating period. Its just a the wrong thing to do to anyone.

[joshefch]

She never cheated on me. She told me she had a new bf about 3 months after we broke up. Then she told me just recently she never had a bf then and told me she did so that I would try to move on. But now she cliams to have a bf she has been dating for 3 weeks.

[spun25]

hey Josh,

well, everyone that responded could be right and could be wrong.

here's my input from experiences of my own. my ex broke up with me after 'losing feelings' for me in April. 2 weeks later, she was dating another guy. 1 month later he was her BF. all the while she was still living with me.

now that she's no longer living with me, she calls me sometimes and talks about her BF and what they did the other day. nothing really that bad. i listen to her and talk to her like a normal friend.

basically, my ex seriously believes that i've already moved on (which is true) and now see her only as a friend. that's why she tells me these things about her current BF. cause she knows that i'm just her friend now and i don't really care that she's with him.

maybe your ex is the same way? maybe she thinks that you've completely moved on and that it's not a big deal to talk about her BF with you. don't you talk to your other girl friends about their BF's and their relationships? your ex may be thinking that all you guys have now is a good friendship. i'm sure that if you talk about a girl that you may be interested in or seeing, she'd listen and want to know more. cause that's what 'friends' do.

 

so take that into consideration too. if you haven't moved on yet. then tell her. tell her that it bothers you still when she talks about her BF. i'm pretty sure she'll tell you that she had no idea that it still bothers you and she'll stop talking about that. sometimes, people are ignorant like that.

don't ask me why, cause i don't know.

 

hope this helped.

-Spun25

[lady00]

ignore her. she just likes having your attention. don't give it to her.

[Chandler]

Spun,

My situation sounds very similar to yours. Broke up, ex lost feelings, ex got new bf. I started NC. I don't call her, but she calls sometimes and we have good talks but she never mentions the bf. She's probably just sensitive to my feelings. Anyway, she said she was doing something tonight, and I asked "who with?" She got quiet. I asked, "your boyfriend?" She said yes. I said, "It's not like I don't know you have a bf." and she replied that it was "weird" talking about it with me. I told her I just wanted her to be happy. I had to go, but later left a message that I was sorry if I made her feel uncomfortable.

 

I don't know why I brought him up. Guess I just wanted to see her reaction, or maybe I wanted to see what my reaction was. I felt okay about it, so I think I'm moving on pretty well.