Need avice on how to bring excitement to a long distance relationship??

[InaDaze87]

Ok...my girlfriend of 2 years and I are currently having the problem of a lack of excitement in our relationship. She just moved about 2 hours away and is currently in law school. She recently brought to my attention that she is somewhat bored with the relationship being that she spends all week buried in a book and when we do get together it lacks that "spark" I guess.

 

I on the other hand don't really know how to spark up a relationship that is long distance and involves her being in law school. I imagine that anything would be exciting to me if I spent all week reading through laws and cases everyday. Anyhow any advice would be great seeing as I have become quite bothered by this issue.

 

Thanks Guys and girls!!!

[JasonVoid]

The answer to the question is not to try to do something exciting...but to be excitement.

 

What would make YOU in particular an exciting person? Only you can really answer that because only you know you but here are some suggestins anyway...

 

....fight for a cause.

.. communicate irregurarly.

...push yourself out of your comfort zone.

...find things about her that are positive that she might not realize and show enthusiasm for those qualiites.

...train phsyically.

...be safely irrational.

...be silly.

[The_Seeker]

The answer to the question is not to try to do something exciting...but to be excitement.

 

What would make YOU in particular an exciting person? Only you can really answer that because only you know you but here are some suggestins anyway...

 

....fight for a cause.

.. communicate irregurarly.

...push yourself out of your comfort zone.

...find things about her that are positive that she might not realize and show enthusiasm for those qualiites.

...train phsyically.

...be safely irrational.

...be silly.

 

Jason, you are my next Yoda. Great advice.

 

Go to a comedy club. You two can use some laughter.

[greywolf]

I agree with the above advice, but I'd also like to say that you are not there for your gf's entertainment. If she's bored then it's just as much her responsibility to make the relationship more exciting. The burden shouldn't be on you.

[Snny]

I agree with Greywolf on this one. Your job isn't to entertain her. Law school is incredibly draining and stressful, so most of her attention is going to be in the books. Either way stress management is her responsibility, not put it all on her partner.

 

I second the comedy club if you both can arrange a time to meet with each other. It's a great stress relief and it adds fun to the relationship.

[Appleseed]

I agree that it's not your job to entertain her, but sometimes someone needs to take the lead in spicing the relationship up.

 

What do you do when you're together? Do you go out? Although my SO and I are trying to save money, we still try to go out a bit when we are together. Maybe you could try a new ethnic restaurant or go to a comedy club (as was suggested and recommended lol). You could pick a recipe to cook and bring the ingredients with you when you visit her. Just trying something new and different, but try it together.

[Snny]

I agree that it's not your job to entertain her, but sometimes someone needs to take the lead in spicing the relationship up.

Right... but the girlfriend needs to communicate why she finds the relationship boring and make suggestions on "spicing it." The thing I read from the OP was:

 

I on the other hand don't really know how to spark up a relationship that is long distance and involves her being in law school.

 

1. Distance is a problem.

2. His girlfriend is busy with law school. Law school students are CONSTANTLY studying throughout the year. It is rare they get any breaks in between.

3. The girlfriend did not communicate this concern clearly to give the OP any idea on what they could do.

 

It is possible she is "bored" because she is stressed and overwhelmed with school. Telling a partner that the relationship is boring only draws negativity and panic from the other end. It is not productive toward a relationship. Instead, try communicating ideas together and finding time in between their schedules to do things.

[InaDaze87]

Right... but the girlfriend needs to communicate why she finds the relationship boring and make suggestions on "spicing it." The thing I read from the OP was:

 

 

 

1. Distance is a problem.

2. His girlfriend is busy with law school. Law school students are CONSTANTLY studying throughout the year. It is rare they get any breaks in between.

3. The girlfriend did not communicate this concern clearly to give the OP any idea on what they could do.

 

It is possible she is "bored" because she is stressed and overwhelmed with school. Telling a partner that the relationship is boring only draws negativity and panic from the other end. It is not productive toward a relationship. Instead, try communicating ideas together and finding time in between their schedules to do things.

 

Snny, you hit the nail on the head exactly my friend. That was my initial response to her statement of being bored. To be more specific I told her " If you want entertainment go to a flippin (edit for content) circus cause I'm not some clown here for you entertainment. I guess I was looking more for ideas of how to get her mind off the constant stress of being busy with school 24/7. However, the distance as well as the complete lack of communication on her part is starting to wear on the relationship and it hasn't even been 2 months yet.

[pl3asehelp]

Snny, you hit the nail on the head exactly my friend. That was my initial response to her statement of being bored. To be more specific I told her " If you want entertainment go to a flippin (edit for content) circus cause I'm not some clown here for you entertainment. I guess I was looking more for ideas of how to get her mind off the constant stress of being busy with school 24/7. However, the distance as well as the complete lack of communication on her part is starting to wear on the relationship and it hasn't even been 2 months yet.

 

I'd break up with her and find someone who values you for you, not for the entertainment your provide. If you being yourself isn't enough to keep her interested in the relationship, then you aren't right for each other. Then, not to knock on lawyers too bad, but this is going to be the rest of her life. Lawyers work long hours and many put their career and career related issues at the highest priority in their life, at the expense of many other things including a good relationship. I couldn't be in that kind of relationship. I wouldn't expect her to become any less busy or to communicate any better with you anytime in the future.

[Snny]

I guess I was looking more for ideas of how to get her mind off the constant stress of being busy with school 24/7. However, the distance as well as the complete lack of communication on her part is starting to wear on the relationship and it hasn't even been 2 months yet.

 

2 months and she comes out saying that? That is a low blow, especially if the relationship is that new. No wonder you're pissed off. Good thing you told her that it isn't your job to entertain her.

 

pl3asehelp is definitely right. I know a law student who has worked through her summer vacation for 2 years now. It's a tough, tough, self sacrificing field and the odds of you two surviving with her being in law school and it being an LDR are very slim unless you BOTH equally give the effort. But coming off demanding that you spice up the relationship isn't constructive; it's placing all relationship responsibility on you and she isn't giving enough effort. I wouldn't focus on cutting ties at this yet, but I think better communication and stress management will save this relationship in the long run. If not... then you know what you have to do.

[InaDaze87]

2 months and she comes out saying that? That is a low blow, especially if the relationship is that new. No wonder you're pissed off. Good thing you told her that it isn't your job to entertain her.

 

Snny...you got confused. I meat she has only been in law school for 2 months. We have been in a relationship for 2 years now. But it still feels like a slap in the face no matter the time period. We have lightly brought up the subject of our future together with her wanting to pursue this career and how difficult it may become, but we haven't had one of those "this is something to seriously consider convos yet". I guess we need to do that stat!!