Worried about NC - please help

[Blue Skittles]

Alright, as some of you probably already know, my ex broke up with me about a week ago.

 

Since then I haven't called him, he hasn't called me, no contact whatsoever.

 

I am really worried about this - I refuse to call him because I have been hurt so much, and I do not want to go through that again. I know in the long run that I do not want to speak to him for the rest of my life.

 

The problem I am having is i am constantly checking my email and checking the phone messages waiting for him, or SOMEONE to call me, and I get so hurt when there is nothing there. How do I get past this? I do I let go and accept that we are not going to contact each other.

 

The other question I have, is what do I do if he does call? He always seems to call me up when he wants something, or when his friends aren't around, and I do not always check the call display when I answer the phone - so i can't just decide not to answer his calls. I'm almost expecting him to call me up in the next week because he is bored, lonely, or wants a favor.

 

I just want to be able to let go and be free without worrying about when he is going to call me or when or if I will ever see him again

[saltwatergirl]

Is it possible to change your number? This way, he can't call because he doesn't know the number, and you can't look and see if it's him because it won't be. You can also change your email, then you won't find yourself checking it because, he won't be able to send anything. And you'll know that. Yes, you're FORCING no contact this way, but sometimes we have to force ourselves into breaking away from someone. It's hard but possible. You will survive.

 

If this isn't possible to change your number, you can always block his number and email. Same results as above. Sometimes we have to pick ourselves up and force ourselves to get to the place we need to be....... it's only been a week, but if you really WANT to get over him, take matters into your own hands and force yourself to--- by making it impossible for him to contact you, and force yourself to stop checking caller ID's and emails only to find nothing.

 

If you had a magazine subscription and you cancelled it, you don't continue going to the mailbox seeing if it came, because you know it won't. So you just don't check it. You might miss getting that magazine, but you know you aren't going to get it because you cancelled it. So, you stop waiting around for it. Same thing.

 

Salt

[losinghope]

I just changed my cell number and my house number, because of the same situation of worrying when am i going to get a call or not. It's soo hard believe me, my friends made me do it cause i had to. My ex was only calling me when he was lonely and bored and I wasn't a priority anymore. He would only see me or talk to me on his terms. I couldn't take it anymore. So I hope by doing this, I am going to force myself to move on. I hope that this would be a wake up call for him, so he would realize i'm not his doormat and give me my respect back. Two things can happen: he either tracks me down because he realizes that he was a jerk, or just not call me anymore. I'm hoping the first will happen, but i guess i'll see with time. My advice to you I would change your numbers, it's such a stress reliever knowing that you're not expecting a call anymore.

[Blue Skittles]

Thanks for the advice. Changing my number sounds like a good idea, but it costs money to do that and I am really broke right now. It sure would make NC easier though. I think I am going to let him go completely - I decided I was going to write a book about this, just so I konw from my experiences, I can go back and read about the hell I've been through and remind myself why I am not calling him.

 

I just realized I had another problem tonight though. Before we broke up, I made really good friends with his family. Now his cousins are calling me up to go to church with them and hang out with them. I don't even think he told them we broke up. I'd really like to hang out with them though cuz I wanted to get more involved with church stuff. And It might give me a chance to tell them that we broke up. I don't know why he is leaving them in the dark. I know this sounds like a dangerous situation, but he really does not get along with his family, and he never talks to his cousins, so if I still hung out with them - I probably still wouldn't see him at all.

 

I dunno. What do u guys think?

[RayKay]

How about you talk to the cousins, express that you two have broken up (do not give them all the details, and don't sound bitter about it!) but that you are truly interested in attending church, and hope that they would still be open to introducing you more to it. I would say they would probably be okay with it, seeing as they are not very close with your ex, and seems that they like YOU for who YOU are, not because you were going out with your ex And I think they might really like the fact you are interested in church, and would love to still hang out with you!

 

Good luck!

[sinnerboy]

sorry to hear that you are goig through do much pain. i was the same way after i got dumped, i checed my cell all the time hoping i'm going to have a message from her, but i did not get any. the only thing you can do is to give yourself some time and when he calls i would not pick it up, it will only make it worst.

 

 

 

good luck