What would you do? I'm still trying to figure it out.

[tattoobunnie]

Re: Slept with someone I've known since I was a child.

 

2010 has been a year of many firsts! Little long...just trying to figure it out myself.

 

So a few weeks ago, I was suppose to go out with my brother and his friends. One of which is a man who's known me since I was 9! And along with all of my brother's friends, I've never look at him in any other way than a big brother role, and he has also seen me as his friend's kid sister. My brother bailed on going out with us last minute, so I still went. Had a super fun time. While I did kiss this man's friend, at the end of the night, I opted to go home. Though, it was the first time I looked at my brother's friend differently...Figured it was a mini crush, cuz he's super awesome.

 

Then this weekend, out of no where, we were hanging out again with my brother and a bunch of other people. We head back home, and my brother and I were sleeping over his house because we had been drinking, and the guy and I kiss. Then he prompts us to head downstairs. We hang out, and I tell them both I'm off to bed. I head upstairs, a bit tipsy, and out of it, since I accidentally fell into the bay that evening (long funny story)...get in his bed, and fall asleep. He comes up later on, and we get it on. By the second time, we were pretty sober. And by morning, I scramble around trying to leave, or look innocent since my brother was a few rooms down, his daughter was asleep in her room, and I needed to call about my dog, and my phone was outside. I had trouble looking for clothes that fit, since mine were wet from the bay...and I kind of woke him up roaming around. I didn't say much or just about nothing, and headed downstairs, while he went back to sleep for another half an hour or so. My brother and I are chatting, and I have no idea if he knows what may have happened, but I doubt it (I think).

 

Then I spent a few hours playing with the guy's daughter at the house, while making minimal but some eye contact with him. (He's not married, and single, and I am on a major dating break.)

 

The thing is...I think I like him. Though, it's weird for me to think of him than in any other way than my brother's good, old friend. And I kind of feel bad that I kind of bolted out of his bedroom.

 

It is definitely a new situation for me...and I don't know what to do next. On one hand, I think I should just let it disappear into oblivion. Then, the other part wants me to write him a letter letting him I didn't mean to just bolt. For the most part, clueless if I should do nothing. He considers me a good friend, though we aren't like that, just known each other for decades, through many things and life, and never judge each other for it. I've even tried to set him up, we talk about girls, he's met several men I've dated over time. It's weird. It's almost like a light switch went on for me about him. He's not a player, pretty responsible, and really special. I really want him to know to not take it personally that I didn't wake up with him, maybe that I like him, and that he's special regardless if anything develops further between us. I guess I'm trying to share this to avoid any awkwardness the next time we see each other...sex usually makes that happen. He's been a bit bent out of shape not being able to find someone, and I don't want him to think he doesn't mean anything to me.

 

I could be wrong about everything...it could just be a situation that happened, and happens to him often...well, not the whole know someone for a couple of decades, and close buds to the brother, and get it on...

 

Confused...this is why I try to stay away from relationships. Takes up too much mind-space. What would everyone else do in this situation? Let it play out, or heart-felt explanation? He is special to me. Just never really dawned on me in an another way until a few weeks ago.

 

Thanks!

[tattoobunnie]

& to boot...never once slept with a friend, my friends' friends, or most definitely, my brothers' friends. Though the letter would probably make things weird too. If it was a totally new person, never really met, I wouldn't sweat it...but it's him. It's different for me.

[uncomfynumb]

I would not write him a letter of explanation, just call him and ask him out to do something, a walk in the park, coffee, that kind of thing. Then you can talk in person and say what you want to say.

[tattoobunnie]

Ah! the mature thing...though I feel silly if it was a one time incident to make it such an event. We're not like that, where we call each other to hang out. It's always been my brother asks me to hang out with him and whoever else. We've just known each other for decades. At this point, I'm not sure if it would go anywhere, it's weird picturing him in a different way. For the most part, funny enough, I tune out all sexual attraction if you are a friend of my brothers, friends of my friends, or a friend to me.

[uncomfynumb]

Bottom line is if you like the guy, go for it. Life is short and the worst thing that can happen is that he rejects you which is not all that bad because rejection helps us to clarify who is available to us and who to focus our time and energy on so as not to waste it.

 

 

[tattoobunnie]

I'm not that concerned about rejection from some person I barely know. I've known him for over 20 years, he's one of my brother's closest friends...so it's like any random guy. It's not a complicated situation, we're both single...it's just a weird situation.