Can someone make sense of this?

[NMDCAZ]

My ex's relationship history was plagued by neglect (husband) and abuse (last two BFs). We were together 6 months then engaged. Throughout our relationship she would often say comments like:

 

"I don't know why YOU would be with ME.",

 

"You are the only person who has ever listened to me."

 

"I sometimes feel I don't deserve to be with you.",

 

"You have no idea how much I appreciate finally being with an emotionally mature man."

 

"Why would you want to be with only me for the rest of your life?"

 

This was a beautiful, smart, highly educated, professional woman saying things like this.

 

A couple of days after reaffirming her love for me in numerous ways including asking me to move UP our wedding date, she told me she was going to give her last boyfriend (who was emotionally abusive) another chance. He put on the full court press to reconcile after he found out we were engaged. This would have been the 4th reconciliation. Each time he initiated it and changed his mind.

 

Yes, I know the obvious answer is she was not ready for another relationship, but what about those specific comments and returning to an abusive relationship?

 

I am maintaing NC. I know reconcilitation is NOT an option. NO, I don't want to be with someone like that. BUT my head is still spinning about what happened.

 

Thoughts?

[Ms Darcy]

I'm sorry you were even in this relationship. It sounds like she's incredibly insecure and that the relationship was rushed (6 months and then engaged). Take your time and heal. Good luck.

[waveseer]

She'll be back. When she does come back ask her to honestly tell you if there's any chance she'd choose an ex over you again for any reason. That is, if you're still interested. I think he had her in emotional vice grips, she wasn't acting completely of her own volition. It happened to me and I'm normally very conscious of my choices. It can happen to anyone.