NC or friends?

[Mr SIBLEY]

So my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, I was pretty upset but I knew it was coming (we've been slowly drifting further away from each other for a while). I'll be seeing her in about two hours and I'm thinking of either going NC and never seeing/ speaking to her again, going NC until I'm able to be friends with her (something she's suggested) or just biting the bullet and becoming friends now.

 

One thing I feel I need to add is that she cheated on me back in January, she claimed it was a drunken mistake and I forgave her for it but when she broke up with me yesterday about two minutes later (no exaggeration, it was literally two minutes) she asked this guy when he would come and see her again.

 

I don't want any of this to be bitter, I want to remember us for the good times.

 

The relationship was pretty mixed, I was pretty jealous and she likes to hang around with lots of guys (towards the end of the relationship she would see this guy 5-6 days/nights a week, claiming it was because I was jealous and suffocated her). She wasn't very good for me, I know that, but I feel that letting her go will be so difficult to do.

 

Another thing is that she's always out with friends so I know this will be easy for her (although last time I went NC, she came to my house in about 4 hours saying she didn't want me out of her life) and I've got this childish thought of her having sex with others very quickly (pathetic of me, I know).

 

Sorry about my post being all over the place, I'm a little mixed up right now and I would really appreciate some advice on what to do.

 

Thanks in advance.

[shorina]

First of all, read my thread. it will have heaps of good advice and quotes on it. Its called; for anyone going thru a break up..

 

If you have feelings for her, then you won't get over her if yous stay friends.

Its as simple and easy as that. You can't be friends with an ex straight after they break up.

My advice is; let her go.

She obviously is being ridiculous and what not, seeing another boy 5 - 6 times a week is ridiculous. Who knows, she may have been cheating on you. I'm not saying she was, not at all am i saying that. I'm just saying who knows.

And if she is saying your just suffocating her, then maybe you should have been sus.

 

Go NC with her, say good bye tonight, don't be cruel and horrible. Just be clear, and simple. Try hard not to kiss, or hug her. It only makes everything harder. and then, keep your word. Don't go back to her. Let her go. Its the best thing for you.

Read my thread, and keep an eye out for my daily posts they'll help you.x

[Sagreras]

The relationship was pretty mixed, I was pretty jealous and she likes to hang around with lots of guys (towards the end of the relationship she would see this guy 5-6 days/nights a week, claiming it was because I was jealous and suffocated her). She wasn't very good for me, I know that, but I feel that letting her go will be so difficult to do.

 

 

I don't want any of this to be bitter, I want to remember us for the good times.

 

Like Manna from heaven, this girl. Try this thought experiment: remove her vagina, breasts, and cute face, and what do you have?

 

A repulsive human being by any reasonable standard.

[No1]

You need time for you and disregard anything that she needs. If she wants to be friends and you dont have it in your heart right now, then dont be friends. She is only asking you to be friends for her own selfish reasons and not thinking of you.

Get some space between you and her. I dont believe in NC, never was a NC fan. I believe in Limited contact but in very specific times when you are at your strongest and not weakest. Anyway. Do what you feel you have to do. If you cant be a friend, dont be. Just give yourself a few days or weeks to really figure out what you can be to your X then be just that. Nothing more or less. Its not what she wants, its what you need right now.

[ForumGuy]

Friendship would be torture for you and playful for her. Go NC....maybe talk to her if she initiates, but do not intiate yourself. It is a tough road, but being friends will prolong getting back to where you are right now.

[ArtistGuy70]

I have been there. I am still there and hurting. No contact is the only way to go. Move on, friend.

[Mr SIBLEY]

Well it went pretty well. I told he I needed time before I could even consider friendship (to get past any romantic or negative thoughts of her). She got pretty upset about the whole thing and she text me two very sweet texts.

 

I've got an order coming to hers on September the 14th and I'm wondering whether I should cancel the order and have it shipped to mine or whether I should just get it from hers.