Day 2

[-Sanguine-]

Sooo..

 

if you read any posts I made today, you will know what's going on.

Luckily, I did speak to him and he will be home just for tonight, after I get off work and then I will see him again Friday, so that's good.

 

I made myself very sad.

I read through our old facebook wall posts on FB

and he was SOOO SWEEET.

like, telling me he missed me, that I was beautiful and talented, etc.

How I loooong to hear those things again. Just to hear him say he misses me.. I think I would melt. That's the hardest part of him being gone for like a month at a time.. that he doesn't miss me. Well, if he does, he doesn't tell me.

 

I don't either, but that's cause I always feel rejected because he doesn't say it back. I used to, though.

 

I realized when the sweetness stopped..

it was ever since we moved in together that things haven't been the same in that regard. I guess why should they be? He needs to move out. It has to happen or things will NEVER have a chance to get better.

 

We moved in too soon. He's never here anyway. I think it would be better for both of us if he didn't live with me and found his own place. Perhaps that would restore the romantic in him, and if not at least it will be easier to break up if that's what has to happen eventually. part of the reason I don't even want to think about it now is because he still does live with me, when he's not working.. so then what? My life would be hell if we were broken up but I still had to share the same space with him.. not cool.

 

Anyway, I hope things go well tonight. I really do. I don't know if I'll talk to him or not.. depends how he seems or if he's still mad. I have a feeling he'll be a bit distant, which makes me sad. I haven't seen him in 20 days so all i want to do is hug him and have him hold me.. I don't know though. We'll see.