Has anyone ever tried writing letters to your bf/gf??

[Oasis_Fan]

Writing has always helped me get through some personal things.

 

Me and my boyfriend are trying to work some things out in our relationship but when we try talk about it, we end up arguing. No matter what!

 

I wanted to talk to him today but I didn't want to start an argument. I felt very depressed (from holding in my feelings) so when he left this morning, I decided to sit down and write a letter to him. I felt so much better after writing it. I never sent the letter to him yet but I was wondering if it would be therapeutic for couples to do that. Has anyone ever tried writing letters to their partner? Like back and forth? Does it help? He's not much of a writer but I love to write ..I wonder if he'd think I'm just weird.

[Jd1983]

I've written letters to my bf, and I've done so in the past with ex bf's.

 

I notice that I can speak what's on my mind a lot more clearer by writing things out. There's nothing wrong with this at all.

 

In fact, it's still part of communication.

[Oasis_Fan]

I've written letters to my bf, and I've done so in the past with ex bf's.

 

I notice that I can speak what's on my mind a lot more clearer by writing things out. There's nothing wrong with this at all.

 

In fact, it's still part of communication.

 

Thanks! I wanted to see if anyone else ever had because I don't want him to think I'm strange.

I've already written this long letter. There's so much in it. Everything I'm feeling, like there's so much more in there that I would never get a chance to say in a normal conversation because it leads to arguments. It's like you finally get a chance to say everything without rude interruptions.

[lana111]

i love writing out my feelings/issues to my SO. its great bc you can choose your words wisely!

[KH26]

I do this! We send letters to eachother all the time (actually send them in the mail too). It's nice. We're really good at communicating, we don't send them because there's anything we really need to say to eachother but it's nice to get something that's been hand written and he's taken the time to do, means a lot more than a text or a phone call (when we're not together). And writing letters gives me time to think about what to say too.

[sara-pezzini]

yes i do this too!

partly because i can express myself better in writing,i can really get my point accross,because i think about it and re-write it so it says what i want to say without sounding like an accusation

i've written letters and not send them,so that they were only to get my feelings on paper,once it's on paper i don't obsess and think too much,it helps me to sleep better

and i've written many letters that i did send him,it gives him time to reflect and then respond without us having an argument

but i also use writing letters to write fun stuff,or what i love about him,or to seduce him

he knows i am this way and he doesn't write back and you shouldn't expect the other person to either,but he appreciates it being my way

[Oasis_Fan]

I do this! We send letters to eachother all the time (actually send them in the mail too). It's nice. We're really good at communicating, we don't send them because there's anything we really need to say to eachother but it's nice to get something that's been hand written and he's taken the time to do, means a lot more than a text or a phone call (when we're not together). And writing letters gives me time to think about what to say too.

 

 

Well we are having an issue in our relationship and when we talk about it we end up arguing.

I've written a long letter and I really think I will send it! I think it is something that can finally help us get through.

 

I never brought it up to him yet. He might think I'm weird because I'm a very soft-hearted person and I love to write poetry and all that. He's the complete opposite lol but I will give it a try anyway.

 

I didn't think people did this! Has anyone tried it to talk about a specific problem in the relationship?

[Jd1983]

Has anyone tried it to talk about a specific problem in the relationship?

 

Absolutely. I've done it in the past, because I know that if I were to talk to them in person, I won't be able to fully let them know how I feel. Also, I would probably start yelling and crying, and it's really hard to continue.

 

At least when I'm writing, I am a lot more calm about the situation, and I can also phrase everything better.

 

It's also good that you can proofread.

[Oasis_Fan]

Absolutely. I've done it in the past, because I know that if I were to talk to them in person, I won't be able to fully let them know how I feel. Also, I would probably start yelling and crying, and it's really hard to continue.

 

At least when I'm writing, I am a lot more calm about the situation, and I can also phrase everything better.

 

It's also good that you can proofread.

 

Good point. I've been thinking about trying this for a while but I never had the courage to suggest it to him. ...That's usually what happens when I try to talk to him about something ...the yelling and crying.

 

I'm a little weird about the letter write now though. I keep proof-reading it like I want it to be perfect. Like this is my chance to finally say what I want to say without any interuptions or misunderstandings.

[Jd1983]

Don't worry, I'm sure it's all in your head.

 

Give him the letter, and hopefully everything will work out in the end.

[sara-pezzini]

yep for me too,if i want to talk to him about something that's really bothering me,i end up crying or not able to say all that i want to,or start in an accusing way..but if i think about it first and write it down i can change it so it doesn't sound accusing,just says how it makes me feel,and he can't respond before i'm finished this way either,because then i would forget what i wanted to say in the first place

then he can read it in his own time and i find this has the best results so far,we never had an argument,because he understands what i mean and does something with it....

[-Sanguine-]

Yes, I've written my boyfriend a letter regarding my feelings about our relationship

I know he read it, but he never said anything about it. He's not one to talk about his feelings.

[Oasis_Fan]

Don't worry, I'm sure it's all in your head.

 

Give him the letter, and hopefully everything will work out in the end.

 

Thanks Jd

[Oasis_Fan]

yep for me too,if i want to talk to him about something that's really bothering me,i end up crying or not able to say all that i want to,or start in an accusing way..but if i think about it first and write it down i can change it so it doesn't sound accusing,just says how it makes me feel,and he can't respond before i'm finished this way either,because then i would forget what i wanted to say in the first place

then he can read it in his own time and i find this has the best results so far,we never had an argument,because he understands what i mean and does something with it....

 

Sounds like it's something that will really work and hopefully make us both feel better.

I hate how when I try to tell him what's bothering me, he automatically assumes that I'm accusing him of something when I'm not. Won't happen with a letter. ...hope my letter's not too accusing

[Oasis_Fan]

Yes, I've written my boyfriend a letter regarding my feelings about our relationship

I know he read it, but he never said anything about it. He's not one to talk about his feelings.

 

I'm kinda hoping he will respond.

Honestly, I think I'll be disappointed if he don't respond to it....

[Oasis_Fan]

I sent him a long heartfelt letter and he looked at it and didn't send anything back to me or even mentioned it.

I'm really disappointed. It took a lot for me to write that ......

[_Asti_]

I did emails in the beginning, and it worked very well. It reached a point where he could tell there was an issue, or something was bothering me, and would simply say "Write me an email...." as I had trouble verbalizing myself on the spot. It worked wonders, and with time I was able to ditch the whole email thing and talk face to face.

[_Asti_]

I sent him a long heartfelt letter and he looked at it and didn't send anything back to me or even mentioned it.

I'm really disappointed. It took a lot for me to write that ......

 

Address it then. Make it known that it was hard for you to do what you did and would appreciate some feedback. He can even respond via letter.

[Oasis_Fan]

Address it then. Make it known that it was hard for you to do what you did and would appreciate some feedback. He can even respond via letter.

 

I am going to address him about it today. Maybe he didn't know what to say...

Did you get replies from your bf when you wrote him?

[_Asti_]

I am going to address him about it today. Maybe he didn't know what to say...

Did you get replies from your bf when you wrote him?

 

Yes, because the initiation was generally from him wanting me to open up, so when I took the time to do so, he was greatful.

Sometimes he would address it in person with me, as the first email was able to open up alot of topics and we could then actually talk about it, or he would write back and keep a dialogue going via email....and could interact in person like normal, but had a background dialogue going on.