do you think therapy would help me?

[sparklystars28]

I am considering it because i feel so insecure, shy/quite (which i both hate so much), and i feel like I'll never have someone special in my life, because i am constantly second guessing myself. I feel like oh if i do have a bf, that i won't be fun enough for him.I also feel that what makes me so worthy of him, when there is someone clearly more fun-outgoing, like say if he has girls/that are his friends, i would think well why is he with me, and not with them, hope that makes sense. Recently I've been feeling very down, and just sad, i'm not happy .. i wish i had a personality like my sisters.. who always has something funny to say, and can make anyone feel comfortable. so do you think a therapist would help me, or can i do this on my own? thanks

[AndiD]

I think a therapist would help every single one of us (a decent therapist). I don't think there's a person on this earth who wouldn't benefit from having a trained, neutral third party around to help out in life's various situations. You could probably do it on your own - but heck, if you have the option, why do it the hard way?

[Stanton]

Experience and self-awareness provide the best route to self-improvment. You have to do stuff that feels uncomfortable in order to become more confident and secure.

[Subtle]

Hello!,

 

I feel I can relate, because I recently started therapy for self esteem and confidence issues a few weeks ago. Most of my insecurities, self doubt, lack of self worth and shyness stemmed from my lack of confidence.

 

I strongly believe therapy is only beneficial if you have the motivation to put forth enough effort to improve your self and your life style. Its great to have someone who's positive, unbiased, and supportive to offer you some feedback on how to improve yourself, but you must also take the time to challenge yourself.

 

For example, I have a difficult time embracing positive thoughts. My therapist offered her input, gave me a small assignment to complete, and although I was reluctant, I did it anyway, and it helped to some extent. I still struggle with positivity, but I'm working on it and improved slightly. Therapy takes time, so you get to work at your own pace.

 

What works for me is visiting my therapist once a week and supplementing the days i m not visiting her with self help workbooks. That way I don't rely on her so much for help, and reflect / help myself when I'm not able to get in touch with her or when I'm really feeling down. Its a good balance for me.

 

If you have the extra cash, there's nothing wrong with trying it out to see if it works for you.

[sparklystars28]

I'm willing to take those challenging tasks to improve myself, i just don't want to stay this way anymore..how has it been going for you? are you seeing improvement in yourself? that's excatly why i want to go, because i lack self-esteem, and i am not very confident in myself! thanks for sharing with me!

[Subtle]

Therapy has definety improved my attitude. Before, I always doubted myself, always questioned my intelligence (because if someone called me stupid I believed them), and had a difficult time trusting others.

 

I actually had to force myself to make an appointment; my self esteem got so low (because of too much stress, burnout, and family drama) I was steps away from being clinically depressed. My temporary fix was to simply build walls around myself and shut people out, but it was doing more harm than good.

 

It definitely wasn't easy in the beginning stages, but once I was comfortable with my therapist it was easier for me to have a conversation. The small activities and assignments my therapist gave benefited me the most. By having someone there who is supportive and believes in you, you'll begin to believe in yourself.

 

I know now I don't need to be as dependent on others to do simple tasks for me because "I didn't believe I could do it myself", or I don't need to believe every negative criticizing statement that someone says to me. A year ago, I wouldn't be able to do that.

 

Sometimes the first therapist you go to might not be compatible with you, and you shouldn't take it personally. It takes a lot to build a relationship with a complete stranger. You could always ask to be referred to someone else.

 

I'm glad I forced myself to go and didn't listen to people who told me I was crazy or not normal for seeking therapy. It takes a lot of courage and strength to want to improve yourself, and seeing that you are even considering it shows you are a strong person

[1MoreChance]

it's hard to know... It dpends a lot on your readiness to change and also on the therapist...

 

 

but I hear that you have very low self-esteem. you have to try to find out who YOU are and LOVE YOU. you cnanot compare yourself to others.

 

 

and forget having a serious bf for now. you can date and have friends... but the things you mentionned point to the fact that you're probably not ready to be in a relationship. You have to feel more secure about who you are first.