Afraid of people's power

[Celadon]

I wonder if anyone here has dealt with this problem. I tend to be fearful of other people being able to do something to me, whether that's physical or emotional. It's not even quite rational sometimes -- like I don't know *what* I fear they will do. It's more a feeling that even their OPINION could be used as a weapon against me.

 

It makes me very uncomfortable when someone is mad at me. Maybe it's because I am not comfortable expressing my own anger?

 

For example, I was chosen to be a part of this group, and I did something minor that one of the leaders picked up on and chided me for. Well, I felt very misunderstood. But I also felt afraid, like, "Oh, this leader doesn't like me. This isn't good!" It overshadowed everything. So, it's my own over-reaction that is the problem.

 

Like I said, it's not always rational. I know I have *some* power myself. Maybe I just don't feel really confident in my ability to smooth things over. IF so, that comes from my childhood, where with my parents it was "conform or else." Or I resent *having* to smooth things over? I need to move past this black and white thinking, clearly.

 

Could use some help, please! How do you learn to live with power (other people's AND your own)?

[redswim30]

It's not uncommon to be intimidated by some people in life- I think most people are, if they are being honest.

 

I understand your mindset. When I was younger, I definitely had a "Don't rock the boat" type of mentality.

 

With life, you can never always know what (or who) can and cannot hurt you. However, you cannot go around worrying about every single possibility of being hurt, or you will drive yourself crazy !

 

I won't tell you not to worry, because that's unrealistic and counterproductive.

 

What I will say is this- Try participating in something that sparks your interest that makes you feel good. Perhaps joining a club, participating in a contest, or something that will utilize your natural talents and help you gain some more confidence. Local YMCA's, Gyms, churches (if you are religious), college campuses - Lots of places offer many different programs, clubs, groups and organizations that may help you feel more self assured, positive, and help you to relax.

 

It's good to be afraid of some things, and not to put complete trust in just anyone- But if you're not careful, you could also lose out on a lot in life.

So why not be proactive and start taking charge ? Once you put yourself out there, you may be surprised at what you can accomplish and take your mind off your fears.

 

Best of luck !

[vertigoxo]

You may have a case of Paranoid Personality Disorder. People with this disorder are very distrusting and suspicious of people when they shouldn't be. they create all these "scenes" in their heads or ideas that people are after them when reality they aren't being chased.

 

That or it could be a social phobia/anxiety problem. Talk to a professional.

[Xylitol]

The reason why you are afraid of power is because you bow and submit yourself to fear and pain ,effectively becoming the slave of them.

 

Stand up to them and challenge them to a fight. If you hold your ground and keep your paw stiff in the knowledge that you are alone in life and only need to fight for yourself and for your own opinion and for your own survival, then you wouldn't care anything for what others would say. Of course being open minded is needed to learn, but it doesn't automatically mean that you bluntly have to accept what everyone else says, have a mind of your own, and a say for yourself.