Giving him oral sex.

[Marionette]

I have this boyfriend, and me and him are in a really great relationship, like nothing ive ever had before. I would use the word love. Well, anyway, to get on with the situation, I really truly trust him, and I want to make him happy. Hes done oral sex on me, (hes good at it) and weve had sex...weve done pretty much everything else. Hes never asked me to give him head, because he knows its a slim to none chance. Okay, wait, getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you why its a slim to none chance.

 

About a year ago, I was sexaully assaulted. Not at random by some freaky dude, but by someone who took me out on a date, he took me to the movies and forced me to suck his you-know-what in the theater against my will he then coerced me into going out with him again a few weeks later and did the same thing again. That was coupled with mental abuse and his hands all over/in me.... shudders

Thats the only time ive ever given oral sex to any one. And according to that person, I wasnt very good at it.

 

So, my current boyfriend, the one who I want to do it for, he, at one point, even told me he wouldnt let me, just because I was hurt so badly in the past. but now I think if I wanted to he would let me, just because of a discussion I've had with him. But...I dont know. Im afraid i would be bad at it. And that im just afraid because of my past experiences. I trust my love beyond anything, but my fear, the fear I know I need to get over, still hurts me. It has even driven me to hurt myself and even try to kill myself, (two hospitalizations in one month--not a fun thing).

[JonnyG]

Its rather difficult to be bad at it

 

All guys like it even if its not done brilliantly. If u havent had much practice he wont expect perfection. It sounds like u have a great relationship, so im sure he can tell u how he likes it etc.

[bleeder]

Hi Marionette,

 

Sex, as much as anything else, requires practice and effort. Don't worry, no one is born to be a maestro at giving heads or a guru in bed.

 

I understand about what you have went through. Traumatic as your past may be, you would need to make that effort and take courage. Try out baby steps towards healing your own life as well as your sexual one too. Your boyfriend sounds like an understanding guy and it's your blessing. Talk to him about it and see if he is willing. Sex will only be beautiful when both partners are comfortable.

 

All the best.

[brokenpogostick]

i would say only do what you are comfortable with. when you overstep that boundary again you will only put salt in your wound... your bf sounds like a sincerely understanding guy. i would talk to him about it first, let him know you're ready; i'm sure he'll understand.

 

as far as doing it right...i really don't think there's a right or wrong way. everyone has their own "technique". i, myself, have watched quite a few porns & read quite a few books to make sure that i am up to date on the current "strategies". 99.9% of guys love head, so if you're ready then i say go for it woman!!!

[Marionette]

*hugs the people who gave advice* thanks...I'm just really confused about this whole ordeal. About what happened to me then and whats going on with me now. Its all very confusing and im not sure what i should do.