complicated situation?

[Johnhenry2nd]

Let me start this off my saying nothing went wrong with me and the girl I was talking to. One of the strongest, most independent women I have ever met, but anyways. Im sorry in advanced for this long post.

 

We have been talking to eachother for about 6 months, things developing with the mentality of 'casual dating' although thats not that ended up happening. Pretty much we got to a point to where we acted as if we were boyfriend/girlfriend without the title, due to the fact that she cant allow herself to have a boyfriend.

So pretty much it came to the point to where she started caring about me much more than she wanted to, which isn't a bad thing persay. The connection we have goes so much deeper, as we are extremely difficult people to understand and of course we understand eachother. It got to the point to where she realized that if we kept talking, she would fall in love with me and that she could see herself marrying me, which is a testament to myself I guess. But thats besides the point.

To make this long story shorter, she decided that it is better for her for us to not talk anymore, at all. Which is hard because we never though that we would be out of eachother lives due to how well we fit together, just as people. Her decision was based on the premise that she needs to be able to focus on schooling and the things she wants to do in life, which I understand, yet also don't agree with because I want to be there for her and support her in her success.

Also the fact of age, where we are both young and in college, we have a lot of growing to do. and that she has been in relationships since she was 12. It is going against what her heart wants and what she wants, but shes such a logical person that it makes sense to her that she has to do this. She wants to be with me but she can't even if she can see us in a long term relationship.

There is more but i'll bear the rest of the details unless asked.

 

So it was agreed that we wouldnt speak to eachother for some time, because we are unable to talk to eachother any other way than we have been, aka incapable of being just friends at this point. At some point in the future we will speak to eachother again, but I'm pretty sure it is going to be me who is going to be reinitiating contact. I was wondering how I should go about this in terms of how long I should wait? How to talk to her? Its not like I want to not be with her and vice versa. Part of her wants me to wait for her (which is like 4 years away, and part of me wants the same. But it may not be fair to myself? Any help is appreciated. Thanks

[Ebrithil]

The best thing you can do is talk to her and explain what it is you would like. I persued somone in the idea of having a casual relationship and although it never happened our web conversations were quite in detail shall we say. But when she came into a relationship as much as I would miss the attention ect I would retreat to a respectful distance and only be a friend to her with no hints, jokes or insinuations that would distract her from her relationship. Maybe you need to give each other a little bit of space take away the intimate relationship and see how you both feel see where it leads you to. If you take yourself away from her like that she might realise that it is what she wanted and come back to you but youll still have the contact that like a regular e-mail or text messeges.

Once you have some time apart you may reevaluate what it is you really want from each other.

[catfeeder]

If someone asked me to stop contact, I would not be the one who initiates it again. She cooled it, she knows how to reach you if she ever wants to. I'd respect that.