What do you make of this?

[AmIAnIdiot]

I've posted previously on hear & your advice has been helpful, I need more..

 

I hope you may be able to help me with this issue. I took my ex back 5 months ago after he had been with someone else for 3 years, I had been with him for 7 years we had a house together etc & he left one day saying he hadn't been happy for years. I found out that he has text/rang & emailed her in regards to tickets that he got for them which she ignored, why contact her he could have taken me or given them away anything but contact her. They've started talking once a week on MSN which looking at the history of the conversations he's telling her a lot more about his life, i.e he's been made redundant, than I think he should & she seems a bit distant.

 

This evening I met up with a friend who is from where they both live & she informed me that when my BF was out on Saturday so was his ex, apparently he was watching her all evening & from what my friend said she blanked him. She then moved onto another pub & my BF moved onto the same pub (small town so can't be helped I suppose) but whats annoyed me is that she was at the bar & he walked up to her & put his arm around her waist & was chatting to her, my friend said she seemed awkward about it all & backed away from him. It sounds like he was desperately trying to get eye contact & she wasn't interested & he seemed nervous around her, laughing stupidly etc she left without even saying goodbye but was that for appearances?

 

I've checked his phone etc & there is no evidence there has been any contact, do you think he is like this because they have a past & just feels guilty with how it ended or that he still wants to be with her?

 

I don't know what to do, yes I should speak to him but it could be nothing...

[savignon]

My first question is what prompted the name "AmIanIdiot"? Are you questioning taking him back?

Whether or not he's inerested in flirting or persuing her, she didn't seem interested in return so that's good. The only way to get to the bottom of it is to ask him about it. If you're not comfortable doing that I would ask you why not...??

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I looked at your other threads. I really think you need to dump him. It seems like he came back to you because the other woman had dumped him. He just can't seem to live without a partner so he went running back to you once she dumped him. This guy left you to be with her.. he is just not a loyal and honest man.

[AmIAnIdiot]

If I question him about it I'm showing I don't trust him, I waited 3 years for him to come back. I don't think he would go back to her but I don't know whether thats because of her reactions to him & if she was more respondent would he?!?

 

I'm so miserable, with him when I hear things like this & when I'm not with him. I want a future with him, what he's promising me. What if she decides she wants him, would he go back?

[Ms Darcy]

My first question is what prompted the name "AmIanIdiot"?

 

I was thinking this.

 

The best answer is that you should talk to him.

 

Personally, I suspect he's gonna bounce on you again at some point.

[HeartGoesOn]

Past behaviour is the best indicator of future behaviour.

[AmIAnIdiot]

I've read alot of posts on here saying about taking exes back and it hasn't worked out, we all want to take an ex back but how many of us actually do? should I have been stronger and moved on hence the name. I love him.

[ToF]

I've read alot of posts on here saying about taking exes back and it hasn't worked out, we all want to take an ex back but how many of us actually do? should I have been stronger and moved on hence the name. I love him.

 

I think you're just afraid to be without him.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I've read alot of posts on here saying about taking exes back and it hasn't worked out, we all want to take an ex back but how many of us actually do? should I have been stronger and moved on hence the name. I love him.

 

It really depends on the ex. If an ex comes back and they are truly remorseful and truly do love the person then, yes, reconciliation can work. However, in your case the guy is half in, half out...he is following around his other ex like a puppy dog. He is not committed to you and that is why it won't work out well for you.

[Squiggy]

Unless you can see yourself accepting his behaviors, you cannot change him. You can try but then you'd be changing yourself too. Then both of you will be totally different, enough to pull you two apart.

 

Let me explain, 6 years ago my sister was dating this guy. They've been together for years and always fight the same fight. About money, infidelity, etc.., just to name a few. Fast forward 3 years, guy proposed to her. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea so she asked me, "do you think its right?" I say to her "if you do marry him, then you will have accept that things won't be better from here on, that all the times you call me, call mom, and talk to your friends about him, is still gonna be there." Probably flew over her head, but she did marry him. But to this day, she often sleeps at our mom's place because of their fight, sometimes kicks him out of the house cuz of w/e reason - so things hasn't changed. He is a violent guy to her too, but she's too stubborn to do anything.

 

Maybe one day, things will be different for you. But know this day, the feeling you are experiencing now will not go away - at least not by you. If he doesn't see this on his own, then maybe you are better off alone.