They're going to marry the rebound!

[piratehound]

Is this a natural assumption after a breakup and your ex gets into another relationship?

 

It's all I think about.

 

I realize statistically most relationships don't end in marriage. I just have a sinking feeling about this guy she's about to date. Mostly because he seems like a great guy.

 

My ex hasn't even started dating the next guy, and I already assume they'll be married.

 

Actually she's probably not even rebounding since it will likely be 6 months since the breakup (of a 5 year relationship) before they start dating.

 

In my situation, we were just about to start talking about getting back together,she even told me that she hopes some time in the future (after we both refound ourselves) that we would get back together. Well this guy comes along and she stopped talking about getting back together some day.

 

In fact now she's certain we'll never be back together. Can someone really be certain about such a thing.

[sunday2010]

4365204]Yes, someone can be very certain that they see no reason to want to try again with an ex.

 

yep they are very certain... i don't i know it

[piratehound]

I just mean certain about the future - which is unknowable. But yes I agree, in the moment of certainty, we can be quite certain.

[KG]

I have 2 friends who married their rebound. Neither is working, at 5 months and 6.

[kennyc90]

I always think the same way too with my ex's rebound! I always think that she might have found the one. My ex's rebound seems like a really nice guy too! I just hope that in the future, he finds her to not be the one... I can't really count on it though. The way me and my ex split, it was pretty bad. She basically told me that she doesn't want to see me or be friends with me ever again. She really loved me a lot though and I was never abusive or cheated on her. I said hurtful words to her before she decided she didn't wanna be friends with me anymore.

[JoeK_19]

I'm sure there's no proof or stats about the subject, but I can give you my experiences. I'm the true life version of "Good Luck Chuck". Having just turned 30, the five serious girlfriends I've had since 17 have all managed to find "the one" with the next guy they were with after me. By "serious" I mean we were together for at least a year-and-a-half, one almost 4 years. Four of the five were pregnant within 3 months of our split, and three of the five were married within a year. All five are still with the dude they met immediately after me. When I first saw previews for the "Good Luck Chuck" movie I chuckled a little to myself, but when I tell anyone about my history they immediately bring it up. I saw the movie, and yup...it's true. Hopefully that's just me though, and not you.

[piratehound]

Holy hell man - alot of those actually sound kind of unhealthy.

 

Yea I hope that's not me either

[kennyc90]

I'm sure there's no proof or stats about the subject, but I can give you my experiences. I'm the true life version of "Good Luck Chuck". Having just turned 30, the five serious girlfriends I've had since 17 have all managed to find "the one" with the next guy they were with after me. By "serious" I mean we were together for at least a year-and-a-half, one almost 4 years. Four of the five were pregnant within 3 months of our split, and three of the five were married within a year. All five are still with the dude they met immediately after me. When I first saw previews for the "Good Luck Chuck" movie I chuckled a little to myself, but when I tell anyone about my history they immediately bring it up. I saw the movie, and yup...it's true. Hopefully that's just me though, and not you.

Wow I would seriously consider killing myself or never loving another woman again if that was me.. 1 heartbreak is plently enough for me!

[Brownstone322]

I'm sure there's no proof or stats about the subject, but I can give you my experiences. I'm the true life version of "Good Luck Chuck". Having just turned 30, the five serious girlfriends I've had since 17 have all managed to find "the one" with the next guy they were with after me. By "serious" I mean we were together for at least a year-and-a-half, one almost 4 years. Four of the five were pregnant within 3 months of our split, and three of the five were married within a year. All five are still with the dude they met immediately after me. When I first saw previews for the "Good Luck Chuck" movie I chuckled a little to myself, but when I tell anyone about my history they immediately bring it up. I saw the movie, and yup...it's true. Hopefully that's just me though, and not you.

If it's any consolation, all my exes went on to relationships that proved to be ugly and ultimately disastrous. Yin and yang.

[brazilgirl21]

I think my ex might marry his rebound. They seem to be going strong for over 1 year.

[lavenderdove]

I think part of the problem here is the fallacy of the 'rebound'. Every relationship is different, and by default, any relationship after your first BF/GF when you're a teenager could be labelled a 'rebound', and most people do indeed marry their 'rebounds' rather than the first person they date.

 

There is a lot of mythology around rebounds 'not working' or that the person is somehow deranged when they start dating the next person and hence it will be a rebound and not work, but it just isn't true. Maybe they just met the right person for them, or they are at an age where they want to marry, and they are looking very seriously at each person they date and reject the ones that aren't right for them until they hit the one who is and then marry.

 

So you shouldn't count on the concept of 'rebound' one way or another to decide whether she will or won't get serious with the next guy, and whether they will or won't marry. There is all kinds of research proving that people can meet and marry in a month and stay married forever, or know each other 5 years, marry and still break up. Whether a relationship succeeds is more about how compatible the two people are, whether they have shared goals and ideals, whether their personalities mesh etc., not the circumstances of their meeting or whether they are classified artificially as a 'rebound' or not.

 

So instead of trying to make random predictions on what she will do with some guy she just met, instead focus on healing. The reality is she seems to want to date other guys rather than you now, so you need to try to accept that and look for someone who does want to date you.