"A man chases a woman until she catches him."

[LightbulbSun]

I've never heard this statement before, and to be honest, I think it's a bit insane.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I don't believe I play hard to get at all. I return calls. I text back. I set up dates and give good reasons for canceling (and reschedule when I must cancel).

 

But, I would say I'm aloof. Not aloof in an "I-don't-care" sense. But, in a secure sense.

 

If he doesn't call, I just find something else to do...he'll either call or not. Messaging him will do me no good.

 

If he's a tad late, I don't question his feelings for me.

 

I don't over-analyze or try to break down everything as a sign of interest or disinterest. Most signs aren't actually signs but something you place there.

 

So, I just sit up tall and happy and wait for them. They know I like them and I'll be good to them when/if they decide to make a move but I try not to make a lot of moves myself in the beginning. I mirror their actions in encouragement.

 

For many dating is a game of doubt and insecurity and guessing. But, dating for me is about providing security and being direct.

[sarahpuff21]

Well, in my experience, every time I have played hard to get it has worked and the guy has fallen head over heels for me, but every time that I have given into my desire to just be available and made it obvious to the guy that I am interested, they have seemed to be turned off by that and lost interest. People want what they can't have and women like being chased. It is a stupid game, but I think it is true.

[DN]

Well, in my experience, every time I have played hard to get it has worked and the guy has fallen head over heels for me, but every time that I have given into my desire to just be available and made it obvious to the guy that I am interested, they have seemed to be turned off by that and lost interest. People want what they can't have and women like being chased. It is a stupid game, but I think it is true.

May I ask how many relationships you have had and what your current relationship status is?

[sarahpuff21]

I have had 4 serious relationships and a few not serious ones. I recently got out of a 3 year relationship and I am dating.

[BriarRose]

Sarapuff, it's true! when I am all sweet and available, the calls start to lessen. when i am not so available funny how they start to pick back up again.

[sarahpuff21]

Something funny that I noticed, maybe it's just a coincidence, but on this forum (in this post) it seems like all the men aren't even aware of this game and/or think it is crazy, but all the women say it's true! haha...

[DN]

I think the true test as to whether it really works is if people are able to sustain a long-term relationship having behaved like that - compared to those that didn't.

[sarahpuff21]

All of the times I have played hard to get with a guy, it has turned into a long term relationship. When I haven't played hard to get, it hasn't. That is unless I decided I didn't want the relationship to go anywhere.

[DN]

Well, what constitutes a long term relationship from my perspective of a 35 year marriage may be a little different than yours.

[sarahpuff21]

Touche....well, maybe we should start another thread...