Honest discipline has turned into felony abuse charges

[alimbagirl]

I am writing for support. I am very alone right now in this situation. I have a 13-year old son who has only recently, (the past 12 months) been seeing his dad on a regular basis. His father is a former crack-cocain addict and severe alcoholic who has been convicted of multiple drunk driving and two buglaries.

 

He is now sober with two new childeren. I have had severe discipline problems with my son and during the recent divorce of my 2nd husband things got very difficult for me. I know I was not a good parent at the time but I was doing the best I possibly could. After being suspended for swearing at a teacher, (second time), being arrested for playing with a grill in a basement (potential criminal charges of attempted homicide were threatened due to the carbon monoxide levels), lying, breaking things in the house, not listening to me, and lots of other stuff I was completely fed up. In a moment of stress after he held up a fist to me and swore at me, I grabbed a plastic hanger and hit him several times in the lower legs. His father took him to the PD (his brother is a cop) and criminal charges have been filed. I am at a complete loss of what to do.

 

I really just need some advice on how to handle this at an emotional level.

[lunatic]

Hey Alimbagirl,

 

Teens are no picnic to deal with. Think about when you were his age and you will remember that time clearly. Your son should not be raising his fist to you at anytime ever. His father sounds like a piece of work and he has a lot of bal*s to come into the kids life after all these years and cause you heartache. I know how it is to lose your cool when kids push you to the edge of sanity. Not that I would have hit him with a hanger (wooden spoon) because that is a little extreme. The only thing you have to do now is go see a lawyer. Things happen and now it is time to protect yourself from any legal problems this is going to cause.

 

I am sorry for your hardship that is going on now but, everything will work out for the best in the end.

 

Get legal advice ASAP!!!!

 

Hubman

[ang3l2004]

Ok first off I would like to say you are not alone,In my opinion I can understand that you were stressed and you were going through a difficult time but I dont agree myself with the fact that you hit him with a plastic hanger but thanks for being honest,I agree that he was a little out of control and mabe mad you very angry but the police will look at this as probably your the adult and he is the child if you know what im saying,It is a little to late to be talking about that now but do not let this bring you down though you are the mother and you feel that he is your son and he was being very aggressive there could have been other ways to handle the situation,How do you feel now after all of this?Do you regret it or do you feel that is what he needed?I am not sure what to tell you only that I am here to talk to you whenever you need some help pm me anytime I just wanted to let you know that this is just my opinion I hope nothing really serious happens and I hope that you and your son can work through this and mabe get some counseling together.Why is it that your son is so aggressive you never mentioned why he has the attitude he does?good luck pm me

[alimbagirl]

I am beside myself with grief over this and I know what I did was wrong. I was over-emotional and all I could think of was that I had to get him in line before it was too late.

 

I think that the legal stuff is going to be out of my hands. I had a domestic situation (no violence, just broke stuff of mine at my ex's house - 2nd ex, not my son's father) and I pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct. However, that gives me a criminal record and I will have to plea this out. The DA will not accept anything but a felony plea, so that is what I will have to do. Going to a jury trial would not be fair to my son. I will have to accept the consequences.

 

I am very sorry and have been trying to get my son's insurance card from my his father. I had him insured up until this January. Anway, I have not received that, of course. His father feels he needs to have no communication with me.

 

Thanks for your support. I know in the eyes of the law I committed a crime. I just needed reassurance that I was not a horrible person.

[ang3l2004]

no no you are not a horrible person dont even think that I can see that you are sorry for what you did and that you know it was wrong but you are not a bad person,The father of your child should not keep him away from you either that is your son good luck with everything and please pm me anytime even if it is just to talk

[lunatic]

Your not a bad person...

 

Kids can drive you to the edge of sanity and I mean that!

 

Forget teens OMG that is even worse and I feel for you.

[Scout]

A little advice here from past experience...not in a domestic violence scenario, but legal nonetheless. The DA always will say until the very last minute before a trial that they won't accept a lower plea. THAT IS HOW THE GAME WORKS. If the facts you presented are indeed the truth, than I would NOT plea to a felony. NO WAY. Don't do it. YOU DO NOT WANT A FELONY ON YOUR RECORD. Get a lawyer, even a public defender. Be very upfront that you are taking this to trial. I am 99% sure this charge will get dropped to a misdeamoner (sp?). They will make you sweat it out for sure, though. Please don't be disheartened...and try and stick with this. Wait until the day before your trial, and if you still feel the same, than plea to the felony. I am certain it will never get to that. The state does everything to avoid the expense of a trial, they just play hard ball up until that moment.