i cant make a decision

[kinetic32]

ok i have other posts on here about this relationship. but i need some advice.. i mean really bad please dont read this and go on your way.. any thoughts you have please.. share anything at all. will help..

 

my relationship has become stagnant.. after 2 years, this girl has been my focus of love for the last 13 years.. things started just wonderfully.. it was like a dream.. not like the usual excited for the beginning... but like an actual dream..

 

we have only seen each other 5 hours in the last month and half. we just cannot communicate at all... i tell her i feel like she is not part of this anymore..

 

we talked last night... not about the relatioship but just talked.. i felt really bad because I just didnt feel i guess attached to her..

 

she asked me about how things were.. what ive been doing, how my counseling appt went.. xbox.. sports.. she tried to make a few jokes.. i didnt laugh..

 

it was like she was trying so hard and i wasnt giving any credit..

 

afterwards i cried.. im so emotionally spent ive given everything i can possibly give and now im just so burnt out i dont have the energy to enjoy an emotion with her now.

 

i care about her sooooo much. more than anyone could ever care about another thing on this planet..

 

im in the medical field... and i keep repeating the same thing over and over in my head... flatlined.. too much time has passed.. the damage is irreversible..

 

she says she loves me..

she says she in love

shes very much sexually attracted to me still.

she trusts me..

 

i just have no more fight left in me.. and i cant just sit there and just go with things.. i find myself frustrated when the area is so gray... im a black and white type person.. it is or it isnt..

 

and i feel like if i dont get the answers i seek.. then its an auto isnt..

 

i know its selfish for me to be that way.. i really need some help.. i cant figure things out for myself.. for the first time in my life im faced with decisions i just cant make.

 

i feel like ill make the wrong move no matter what..

[SapphireNoir10]

Have you tried talking to her about this? Sitting down together and trying to get back on track?

[odile]

You've been together for 13 years, but the last 2 years have not been happy ones for you relationship-wise, is that correct?

Are you happy with your life in general?

Also, aside from/prior to this past month-and-a-half (when you only spent 5 hours together), had you been seeing each other more regularly?