I don't know if I want to post on here anymore- mean people

[dancingcolors]

Hi. Yesterday, I made a post, just sincerely saying how I felt. I thought that is what people do on here. At least, that is what it seems to me. Pouring out their hearts. I said nothing bad, or mean, just how I felt.

 

The thread turned into what felt to me, a bashing of me. Just what I don't need. Especially by one person, who ended up calling me bitter and hateful, which is the last thing I am on any count. She said I was complaining on my thread. It is ironic, because I looked at some of the threads she has posted in the past, and she is "complaining as well". I was sharing my heart, which is what people do on here.

 

I feel like people turned on me, and this doesn't feel like a safe place for me to speak anymore. I am even a little worried that people will bash this now.

[mca1975]

I feel the same, there are some mean people on here. And there are people on here who will not even believe what you are telling them.

 

At the end of the day, they don't know you at all.

 

This site is for complaining isn't it? for complaining about affairs of the heart. Try and take no notice of the "bashers", they are the ones who are bitter and resentful and just want to take it out on someone.

[DN]

Moderator Note: If you think someone is bashing you then please let the moderators know by using the 'report bad post' icon and we will take a look. We do not allow 'bashing' or flaming on here.

[lostnscared]

Honestly I know what poster your talking about--as I did read your thread. I don't think she was trying to hurt you. She was a little snarky but I think she had good intentions overall.

 

I was attacked yesterday in one of my threads and I got a little defensive and angry as well.

Sometimes you have to just ignore people who aren't being kind and understanding to your situation. I let that poster get to me, rather than ignoring him. I won't do that again.

[guynextdoor]

DC you are going to get people that will get under your skin. Likely I'm sure it wasn't intentional. You're are going to have build a thicker skin dear, it comes with the internet territory. Don't be afraid to post.

[dancingcolors]

well, I looked at some of the threads she has posted, and there was complaining, being unhappy, until she met someone and slept with them, an all of a sudden she was soooo happy. Then she bashes me, for being lonely, and tells me how indepently happy I have to be, and stop complaining. She slept with the guy who made her happy, like on the second date. How independent is that anyway? I can't be that loose, so yeah, I am feeling lonely. I know how to be independent. I raised a child alone for 20 years. I truly do need a companion, and don't like getting bashed for it. And the last thing I am is bitter and hateful.

 

Mostly, people have been kind to me on here. Just yesterday, I felt like they were ganging up on me.

[lostandhurt]

I read the whole thread and I believe you may have taken some things the wrong way. I have found that when we don't hear what we want to hear we see it as negative.

 

For the post you mention:

I don't think you NEED a man or NEED love but you want a man and want love. There is a huge difference. It sounds as if you are pretty much your own girl and can take care of yourself which is great but you need to go out on a limb and do something different.

To put it this way. If what you have been doing hasn't gotten you what you want then continuing to do the same thing over and over probably isn't the best choice is it?

 

Step out of your comfort level and I bet you will find and see things differently.

 

Lost

[Carus]

I feel like people turned on me, and this doesn't feel like a safe place for me to speak anymore. I am even a little worried that people will bash this now.

Not 'people' DC...Just one person....

 

Dont let one bad apple upset the whole cart....

 

Its kind of like real life out here...You meet some good ones and bad ones...

 

Keep your face to the sun and leave the dustmites in the dust...

 

((HUGS))

[dancingcolors]

I am not sure what that I understand how to step out of my comfort zone

[lostandhurt]

We often stay where it is safe. We don't do things we might find fun or challenging, talk to someone because we might look silly or do something because we have no one to do it with.

Do these things!

I am sure you have thought: "that would be fun" but never did it.

I have a motto that is called "when and where"

If something is going on, or I am invited to anything at all that is my question to them. "when and where?" I used to be to busy or have work to get done or any number of excuses which all can wait now as I just go and have fun.

 

Do things you wouldn't otherwise do.

 

Lost

[Lori123]

You're are going to have build a thicker skin dear, it comes with the internet territory.

 

That's fine advice for a regular forum (something about cars or movies or something else less personal), but this forum is devoted to people who are hurting and vulnerable. This girl does not need to develop a thicker skin. That's one of the most heartless comments I've read yet.

 

Rather, the people here need to develop a little more kindness and empathy, and a softer touch, or find somewhere else to post. In other words, be nice, or go the f away.

[DN]

Mod Note: please keep posts respectful.

[mca1975]

Thing is, I find that if you realiate to someone who is being sarky or rude, then you get an infraction aswell, which can be incredibly infuriating. They get to say what they like, then when you retaliate for being bashed, you get bashed with an infraction.

 

Anyhow, I do think some people can be mean and I also think there is a percentage of people who get defensive about what they hear.

 

However, it is no more wrong for them to bash you, than it is for you to judge her on how quickly she slept with someone on a second date.

 

I think it depends a lot on people's moods that day. lol

[dancingcolors]

I do go places and do things, and I am not afraid to do things on my own. I am actually very adventurous.

[lostandhurt]

okay this Bambi thing is starting to freak me out MAN! LOL

 

everywhere I go there is Bambi! and I am not even a hunter.

 

Lost

[teabee]

I think she needs to develop a thicker skin too. Some posters will be empathetic and kind and that is one part what is needed, and some posters will be more blunt with the truth, and that will come in handy when the original poster is ready to hear it.

[bish0p2004]

 

Rather, the people here need to develop a little more kindness and empathy, and a softer touch, or find somewhere else to post. In other words, be nice, or go the f away.

 

hmm...this seems a bit hypocritical to me.

[teabee]

Thing is, I find that if you realiate to someone who is being sarky or rude, then you get an infraction aswell, which can be incredibly infuriating. They get to say what they like, then when you retaliate for being bashed, you get bashed with an infraction.

 

Anyhow, I do think some people can be mean and I also think there is a percentage of people who get defensive about what they hear.

 

However, it is no more wrong for them to bash you, than it is for you to judge her on how quickly she slept with someone on a second date.

 

I think it depends a lot on people's moods that day. lol

 

All good points!

[lostandhurt]

See it sounds as if you have your own life so maybe you need new surroundings.

 

Go visit a new city for a day and explore. Who knows you may find a fresh start.

 

Lost

[dancingcolors]

I was just saying that she isn't so happy and independent being alone, as she claims to be, if she slept with someone that quickly, and then says I am so happy now. That obviously, she needs love and sex as much as I do, but I am just honest about it and get bashed.

[avman]

I'm closing this thread now as we will not become a forum where members bash on each other. OP please contact a moderator privately to resolve any issues you may have with other members.