girlfriend problems

[usmc1013]

hello everyone, ive been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now and everythings been great so far, except for a couple of things. shes a really sweet caring girl and shes a great person but theres just some things that really get to me. shes had alot of boyfriends in the past and she cheated on her last boyfriend with another guy. she said she only did that because her last boyfriend treated her bad. sometimes when i want to be intimate, she just ignores me and changes the subject. when i ask her why she does that she says "ehh im not in the mood" or "is sex all you ever think about?" sex isnt all i think about but we almost never make love weve made love maybe about 6 times during the last year. i do admit that i bring up sex alot but i cant help that im physically attracted to her shes gorgeous and after all i am a man right? another thng is thatshes extremely flirty. even though shed doesnt admit it i have seen her and some of my friends have also seen her around school flirting with guys. she also tells me that she doesnt talk to other guys but then when i log into facebook or anyother social networking site all i seeis messages from guys to her. a couple of days ago, some guy wrote her that she was cute and instead of saying something like "i have a bf" she just wrote "awwww that really bothered me its almost like she has no respect for me. i really love her but i just get so angry at those things please someone help.

[Puckdog27]

First if some guy wrote on my GF's page "your cute" I would have responded "Yes I think so too, which is why Im with her" on her page.

 

That said, the lack of sex is a HUGE indicator of an issue in the relationship unless its always been that way. It may not be that she is cheating, but when intimacy disappears, something is broken.

[usmc1013]

thank you for the reply

[george237]

Do you love her or do you love being with her? My buddy married one of these girls, needless to say he found out she was cheating on him the entire engagement then she left him 6 months into the marriage when he found out. NOTE: She left him.

 

Looks aren't everything. I would get out before you look like an ass.

[krill]

My advice is going to be harsh, but please take into consideration.

 

Break up with her immediately. She doesn't respect you, and chances are she's cheating on you. Women need sex just as much as men do. When you say that you've only done it 6 times within the last year, that leads me to believe she's getting it from someone else.

[pl3asehelp]

My advice is going to be harsh, but please take into consideration.

 

Break up with her immediately. She doesn't respect you, and chances are she's cheating on you. Women need sex just as much as men do. When you say that you've only done it 6 times within the last year, that leads me to believe she's getting it from someone else.

 

Yes, this is great advice. And her response to being told she's cute should not be 'awww' it should be 'thanks, but I'm taken' - totally unacceptable. Let her go be someone else's nightmare.

[krill]

Yes 110% completely unacceptable.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Given the fact that she has had a lot of boyfriends, cheated on the last one (and possibly on the others as well) flirts with guys and lies about being in contact with guys and is not interested in being physically intimate with you I would say that she is very likely cheating on you. What's happening with the financial aspect of things...do you pay for her all the time and buy her presents? Some women will hang on to a guy for the financial perks.

[Puckdog27]

Given the fact that she has had a lot of boyfriends, cheated on the last one (and possibly on the others as well) flirts with guys and lies about being in contact with guys and is not interested in being physically intimate with you I would say that she is very likely cheating on you. What's happening with the financial aspect of things...do you pay for her all the time and buy her presents? Some women will hang on to a guy for the financial perks.

 

CAD - Im glad you chimed in here because the responses were looking very one sided and woman hating. Good to see a femine response from one of the best on this board.

 

OP - pay attention to what she just told you.

[usmc1013]

i pay for most things like dates and things but she also buys me some presents and pays for food sometimes

[Atticus90]

I'll keep this short..

 

She's cheating on you.

I promise you.

[usmc1013]

i dont know what to do she tells me she loves me but she doesnt even want to go on a date with me

[Puckdog27]

i dont know what to do she tells me she loves me but she doesnt even want to go on a date with me

 

Maybe shes afraid someone will see you together?

 

Trust me. Whether she is cheating or not, in her mind this relationship has run its course. If she isnt cheating, it will end when she does find someone else, at which time you will feel she was stolen away, and she will tell you its your fault that someone else swept her away. I would end this one.

[usmc1013]

im also joining the marine corps in a few months. she says she will wait for me but i have no idea what shell do while im away for so long

[shuttlefish]

Sorry man, from what you've written, it doesn't look too promising.

 

1.) She is using sex as a weapon/prize

2.) She is flirting and leading other men on. (if some guy makes a play for her then she should inform him that shes in a relationship)

3.) She seems untrustworthy

 

Do you want to stand apart from the other men she's had relationships with? Seize control and end the relationship...before she does.

 

pain is temporary, pride is forever

[Puckdog27]

im also joining the marine corps in a few months. she says she will wait for me but i have no idea what shell do while im away for so long

 

What is it she will wait for. You are about to become a US Marine, and you're life is going to become amazing, it will build you into a man you may not even recognize, one of discipline, accountability and honor.....even more so than you already may be. Do you really want to return to someone who may not possess those same qualities?

[usmc1013]

thanks for all your help guys i would like to see more peoples opinions

[MikNomis]

If you're waiting for that one objectional post that says what you want to hear, that maybe she's just like that, then I'd advise you don't. When this many people are saying the same thing, it's probably good advice. I also agree with them that she's with you right now for reasons other than she loves you. You'll always be worried if she's cheating while you're away, and with good reason: that's exactly the type of person you see her as. End it now, and walk away with your manhood.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

She will not wait for you...she is not even really on board with you now. Forget about what she says...her actions are showing you loud and clear that her words of love and waiting for you are meaningless.

[moving]

I agree with everyone's advice in this particular case. Based on all the facts, it sounds like the girlfriend is using the OP, may be involved with other men, and at best "just isn't that into him." However, I want to note, gently, that sometimes people choose not to have sex more than a few times a year because they are asexual/demisexual/have a low sex drive. Lack of desire to have lots and lots of sex does not automatically signal cheating.

[stay_positive]

I'm sorry but if this is how she is acting now, it will only get worse when you leave for the corps. It's a sad truth. Move on and find someone better. I'm sure you can! Stay strong and stay positive

[usmc1013]

thanks alot guys

[Clarity]

Do not get into some kind of long distance relationship with her when you join the marines. You'll end up thinking about her while she's.... getting railed by other guys.

[wheatgrass82]

oh man i can totally relate... word for word I am in your situation.... You can hash over it in your mind but at the end of the day..... IS THIS OK WITH YOU? feeling like your partner doesn't respect you or want to talk you up behind your back is an awful feeling. one of the worst actually.... If you've made your feelings clear and there is no change.... it's too hard. WAAAAAYYY too hard. you should want more for yourself. She is very immature..... that is evident.

[krill]

Life is way to short to be dealing with this, find a woman. What you're dealing with right now is a little girl. I'm sorry, I know you care about her, it happens.