body

[Sparkly Eyes]

Like another poster said once, there is a good kind of shallow and there is a bad kind. Good kind is when you reject people solely based on the fact that you are not attracted to their looks...BAD kind is when you ARE attracted, but are afraid what other people think. That is like ultimate shallowness!

[goodfoot]

Here's a problem I see with this, if you care so much about what other people are thinking, you're holding back with the girl. If you're in a relationship with a girl you are not proud of, it's unfair to her. In the end, if you care deep down in the end, you'll both get hurt.

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it's just unfortunate that some women regardless of their shape will never impress a man even though they try so hard. This is why so many curvy/larger women have self esteem issues and can not understand that when that guy does come along that LOVES their shape, they can't understand or believe it.

 

That causes additional problems when you date bigger girls which makes it harder for the guys who like them to stay around.

[CCmedic]

Not only that but many seem to think its perfectly ok that they're allowed to have standards yet when girls do...ooooooh how shallow and horrible she is for not realizing what a "winner" he is. Just because I don't want you specifically, doesn't make me shallow.

 

 

This applies to both sexes. Both can be just as shallow, it's human nature to want the best of something, be it an attractive partner or a nice car. If a guy says what you just proposed, it's obviously because he's looking for an excuse since he can't accept reality. Likewise women will plead the same exact thing and make posts just like this. These boards are littered with them from both sexes.

 

Happy dating!

[Sparkly Eyes]

This applies to both sexes. Both can be just as shallow, it's human nature to want the best of something, be it an attractive partner or a nice car. If a guy says what you just proposed, it's obviously because he's looking for an excuse since he can't accept reality. Likewise women will plead the same exact thing and make posts just like this. These boards are littered with them from both sexes.

 

Happy dating!

 

I assure you that no woman would make a post like this:

 

However, I'm vain. I don't like being out, seen with a fat woman...even though I might be drawn to her sexually, etc. I once heard that fat women are like mopeds: fun to ride but just try not to be seen with one.

 

Men are more brutal in how they talk and think that they are more justified in being shallow.

[CCmedic]

Men are more brutal in how they talk and think that they are more justified in being shallow.

 

We are certainly more openly brutal about how we talk, for sure. However please don't try to tell me that when girls get into their little circles, they aren't occasionally just as down right mean as their male counterparts. I have heard personally and firmly believe a woman would make a post just like that, minus the pun at the end.

[Sparkly Eyes]

We are certainly more openly brutal about how we talk, for sure. However please don't try to tell me that when girls get into their little circles, they aren't occasionally just as down right mean as their male counterparts. I have heard personally and firmly believe a woman would make a post just like that, minus the pun at the end.

 

Honestly no, not as much as you guys do, that's for sure. Maybe it was my group of friends, but we rarely made fun of someone only because of how they looked. We only did it if that person made us mad for some reason, then we were'nt afraid to be a little brutal.

[randomgirl59]

We are certainly more openly brutal about how we talk, for sure. However please don't try to tell me that when girls get into their little circles, they aren't occasionally just as down right mean as their male counterparts. I have heard personally and firmly believe a woman would make a post just like that, minus the pun at the end.

 

While I do agree that men and women are more or less equally shallow about certain things, its hard to accept your argument based on assumptions that girls talk smack in their circles when you admit that men are more brutal AND open about it. Have you been in these so called circles to prove it? Well lets say hypothetically that it is true and that all girls talk smack about guys in their circles (which I firmly believe isn't true.) At least you aren't hearing it to your face. At least you're spared the open humiliation.

 

Additionally, even in this day and age, women's self worth is still largely based on how attractive she is, which makes it hurt even more. Lets put it this way, calling a woman ugly or fat, especially in a really mean way, is practically the equivalent of making fun of a man for having a small penis.

 

 

This isn't the first post on ENA when men have disgusting and downright rude remarks regarding overweight women, when they could have simply said something like "I prefer skinny women" then some will actually justify their rudeness by stating they dont need to be politically correct or something along the lines of that. People lurk on these boards too, an overweight woman might read it, but does anyone care? no. When I entered this thread I just knew at least one guy was gonna make a rude remark and I was right. Guys always say they like a woman who is confident and can eat a meal at a restaurant rather than order a salad...I guess this only applies to women who are the acceptable size

 

This isn't part of my response to CCmedic but I would also would like to add that that little remark Espi made was disgusting and uncalled for, but does anyone speak up against it? no. Does it get deleted? no. Instead it gets backed up by other guys snickering along with him. Why? because I think its more acceptable for men to act this way, so I say this: you guys want to make openly rude remarks regarding women's appearance? fine. But next time a woman makes a joke about small penis or whatever it is you guys are insecure about, dont complain and cry "shallow". Don't dish it out if you cant take it, which is the attidude I come accross of a lot of guys these days. Oh boohoo no woman wants me they all suck and are shallow. Then the next thing you hear is them cracking a rude joke or complaining about some fat chick hitting on them. ](*,)

 

 

That causes additional problems when you date bigger girls which makes it harder for the guys who like them to stay around.

 

perhaps the guys would stay around if big women weren't made to feel like garbage all the time. From the media, the fashion industry, other men and even other women. Low self esteem doesn't just hit someone for no reason, they cant accept the great guys that do like them because its ingrained in them that they're ugly. Even the big girls who are confident have haters.

[CCmedic]

I understand the point you are trying to make here and somewhat agree however I feel your understanding of the matter is completely off. Yes I have absolutely been in these circles. Again, yes guys are more openly brutal(and don't get me started on a morals debate about whether that's better than just making fun of them behind their backs). Additionally, though the idea that guys are more openly "brutal" about things is out there, I sure has hell don't see any guys telling a girl, "hey baby sorry but your just too damn fat for me" to their face. Where do you get this from? Do you see it on a regular basis or are you just assuming that because you saw some jerk of a guy do it and now we're all "bad guys." Do understand that as a man I see women do some shady things but I'm intelligent enough to accept no one woman is the model for all others.

 

This idea of a salad versus food at a dinner saying is ridiculous as well. If a guy is ATTRACTED to a larger woman, I'm sure he could care less what she eats. However if I guy isn't attracted to big girls, then what the hell is he doing eating with her anyways?

 

I'm not condoning what Espi said but I'm willing to bet that if you want to crack a joke about some guys small member, he'll certainly get over it a lot faster than most females will get over a jab taken at one of their flaws. Maybe the guys would stay around if women didn't "feel like garbage all the time" but don't think for a second that guys aren't made to feel inadequate as well. Look at the media standard for the "attractive man." You know what the difference is? We get the hell over it or do something to fix it if it actually bothers us that much.

 

/rant, I'm off to work.

[randomgirl59]

Where do I get this from? Try living with that BS all through highschool and even a little through college. Though I never asked any of these guys out or were interested, they never let me forget that I was fat. Dont give me excuses like “oh they are in highschool, of course they’re immature” either. It doesn’t matter. Crack a fat joke to me once in awhile and yea I’ll get over it, but hearing it EVERY SINGLE DAY doesn’t exactly sit well. Only recently have I been able to, for the most part, be happy and accepting of myself. And I did actually “fix it” and lost weight, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still not even close to the ideal and never will be. I’ve still got lots of “curves” Every woman in my family was blessed with being on the wider side. So people will still assume I’m unhealthy even though I really don’t eat that much at all. They’ll assume even though I go to the doctor regularly and check my cholesterol, blood sugar, etc and everything comes out healthy. Yet the skinny girl over there could be chowing down on McDonalds and still be seen as healthy because she doesn’t gain a pound. Talk about assumptions. I never said all guys are “bad guys” either so please don’t insinuate that I did. I know that there are plenty of men who don’t say rude things and even like bigger women, but there are also plenty of men that are openly obnoxious and vulgar regarding women’s looks, I see this online everyday, on practically any website I visit. It’s irritating. Not even because I am offended personally, but because they think they are entitled to scrutinize every aspect of a woman’s appearance. I’d like to see how easily they’d get over it if more and more women would openly insult their appearance and scrutinize them.

 

 

 

I used that as an example, of when I hear many guys say they want a woman to eat yet the majority prefer a thinner frame. Well, diet plays a big role into this as you know, so salad over steak. There’s a “No fat chicks” mentality with many men, then they turn around and say we should order a meal. Hypocrites. Not everyone who is thin is thin naturally. It takes work. If they want a thin woman, don’t complain if she nibbles on rabbit food at a restaurant. Of course this only applies to the guys that want a thin woman.

 

 

 

Oh don’t even get me started on this one. I agree that men have standards they’re supposed to meet as well. But the products and advertisements targeted at women exceeds those of men’s. You’re too fat, you’re too hairy, you’re too wrinkly, your hair isn’t shiny enough, you’re wearing the wrong clothes, blah blah blah. This is more than taking care of your appearance, its INSANE. Yet so many women buy into it, spend their money that they could be spending on more important things. And WHY do a lot of them do it? To get men to notice them, to get dates. Yet it still isn't good enough. Yet so many of them STILL insult us. And those that usually do are not exactly winners themselves. In fact, based on my personal experiences, I'd have to say that the ones that do openly insult are downright unattractive, on the inside and out.

 

Now lets compare what a man has to do to become attractive. Hit the gym, buy some nice clothes, shave (just their face) and get a haircut. No creams, cosmetics, stylists, accessories, surgeries, special diets, push up bras etc. I’m really not trying to diminish the struggles that men have to go through. I know men have a lot of pressures as well and I feel for them having to go through it. But when it comes to the expectations women have to live up regarding appearance; it far exceeds those of men’s. That’s why it grates on my nerves to hear men being so open and brutal with their insults.

 

Get the hell over it and do something about it? Excuse me? See above. We do what we can. Do not say women don’t do anything and all men do. There are just as many lazy, whiny men as there are women. The beauty industry thrives because women keep buying products to fix themselves. Women are starving themselves to fit an ideal. Now you could even argue that we don’t have to do this. Dont have to buy into it. Its true. Lots of women don’t. But imagine if EVERY woman did nothing but the bare minimum regarding appearance. I’m sure there would be quite an outrage from men.

[Cheetarah]

No men I know get over the small penis comments. I can think of several who are still reeling over a one-time comment made years ago.

[Stay_home]

How do you men really feel about bigger women? Not disgusting. I am talking sizes 16-18. Or is that irrelevant to finding someone? What are your views?

 

I just don't like overly large women, I don't find anything attractive about that at all.

[Cognitive_Canine]

A rude and tasteless comment is a rude and tasteless comment. It doesn't matter what gender the person is who said it.

[EQIQ]

I prefer the slender ladies as well.

 

Regarding the debate around the comments, and expectations surrounding women's and men's appearances. What I personally think is sad about women that try hard to look good is that many if not most go about it the wrong way. At least when it comes to losing weight. Not talking about your hair, skin etc, I know nothing about that.

 

My sister is overweight, heck I think she is probably on the slightly obese end. She would always complain about her weight. Eventually one day I had a talk to her about it, and made it clear to her that the only sure way to lose weight is to diet and exercise. You need to put yourself into a calorie deficit, it's simple science. After a bit of talking, she admitted to me that she hated exercising more than being overweight. .... We don't live close-by anymore, she lives back in Brasil, married etc, but... yeah.. still overweight. Hasn't changed a thing, because of attitude.

 

Complaining and trying crazy diets for a few weeks, then complaining that it isn't working, and going back to normal again, only to repeat the cycle will lead someone that wants to lose weight nowhere.