What can I do?

[wishmaster28139]

OK, heres the deal. I have the hardest time finding dates infact i have only dated one girl my whole life. I,ve tried everything I can think of. My parents and friens can't even help me. Ppl always say that I am a great looking young man but girls seem to ignore me. I'm 6 foot tall and 160 pounds, i run, workout, watch what I way and get along with anyone. When I was 16 my parents put in a inground pool and a hot tub to help me meet more ppl. Girls at school were always going over to other guys pools so I though I'd tell some that I had a pool to see if I'd have some luck. Basically I was ignored and laughed at. At 17 girls liked the guys with jobs, so I got a job as a lifeguard during the summer figuring surly I'd meet a girl that way. I asked probally 4 or so out and got shot down all times. At 18 I finally got my first date and later she became my g/f. We dated two years and we got along great, great sex and all, then she dumped me for another guy suddenlly. So after a few months of tring to get her back she married the other guy so I promissed myself i'd never date her again. After highschool I went to the local community college for two years. I asked girls out there with no luck, so I bought a jeep wrangler to try to try to persuade them a little more, uh no luck, so I bought a roadbike and rode with my friends around where they picked up girls on there bikes, but not me even though my bike was better looking than any of thiers. My friends started tring to do some hook ups with no luck there either ofcourse. Later I gave up all together and decided to got Appalachian State University for a bachlers degree in computers. It's now my senior year in college and I've only dated and had sex with one girl my whole life. I got into drinking pretty bad for a couple of months my junior year and then relized that the girls are the ones missing out and not me. This semester I'm looking again. I consider myself a great guy. I get along with all ppl expecially girls but they never want to date me. They give me this weird look when I ask. I have no disabilities, scars, or anything wrong with me. I'm not overweight, I work out. I'm not a nerd or a jerk just an average person. I hate heights but I race roadbikes so I must not be a dweb. I snow ski, water ski, hike, camp, hunt, fish. It is so weird no one can figure it out. I'm quiet but thats my only problem. Some ppl say I'm to picky but I don't think so. Don't get me wrong, I do have girls that talk to me wanting to go out but they are like 150 pounds, unattractive, or to young. All I want in a girl is a good personallity, under 140 preferably 130 pounds, dresses stylish, looks decent (has a nice butt and legs, I don't care much bout big boobs), within four years of my age so 18 to 26 and doesn't sleep around alot. A month ago I started talking to a girl on the net and she said I'm so beautiful and I have a kid (I don't mind kids or anything) but we talked for a few weeks and she was real nice and I thought all right I finally got my mate and I asked for a picture. Great GOD ohmighty she had to weigh 210 pounds. So I had to tell her she was what I was looking for and I felt like shit for a long time. I am sorry but if I can't get aroused by my girlfriend then somethings wrong. I know some ppl are thinking oh he is so mean, and you shouldn't date by looks but by personallity. Well look you guys if I wanted a girl for a personallity I might as well be gay cause I ain't going to be any better off cause I still won't be able to get it up to have sex. Basically I feel like screaming and I just needed to get it out and for some other ppl to know how I feel. Girls are driving me nuts. And sometimes I feel like stoping one and saying what is so wrong with me that you girls won't date me. I love sex, I'm not going to lie, but if the girl wanted to wait then that's fine. I not jelious, mean, don't smoke or drink much. I think I'm the perfect guy as far as personallity goes, as far as looks go, I think I look decent and ppl tell me I'm good looking. i'm not one of those ppl who thinks I'm great and anygirl would be lucky to have me, I just don't know why any girls I like don't like me. Can one of you girls tell me what is going on in your heads plz.

[Gilgamesh]

Ok, so much here that i dont know where to start, let me see.

 

First off, stop selling yourself, you are very likely coming off as desperate around these girls that you date, thats why they drop you ASAP, you try too hard, and lack self confidence.

 

You dont need gimmicks and tricks, everything you seem to have done in your life seems to be centered on finding chicks. and you have no identity

you are not being yourself and girls see right through phonies.

 

You lack self esteem and pride, because of a couple comments in your post >So after a few months of tring to get her back she married the other guy so I promissed myself i'd never date her again. and All I want in a girl is a good personallity - and doesn't sleep around alot

 

Ok so I basically Cyberslapped ya, hey i'am here to help ya, here come the good stuff.

 

Stop chasing girls for now, you need to find out what it is You like to do and enjoy and just do that and find out who you really are.

 

You need to get a whole new attitude in life, you need to act and feel like you couldnt care less about women!, you need to be more selective in a girls personality, it seems to me that you pick any girl that has a bod and thats your only criteria, once you know who you are, then youll know who is right for you, and even if you see a hawaiian tropic swimsuit model, if she is not your type you move on! thats who you need to be. thats your attitude, you say to your self, Iam who Iam, I know what Iam looking for, If I see a girl that looks interesting ill go up to her and ask her out, if she says no, its her loss, dont plead, dont beg and dont sell yourself, stand tall, smile and say thank you for your time and move on.

 

You have nothing, absolutely nothing to expect from a girl to whom you do not demonstrate value and personality.

[cookies]

hey wishmaster..

 

well first, its not a matter of whats going on in our heads (females) its really whats going on in your head. From the very beginning of ur post, i picked up the impression that you focus on materialistic things 2 impress chiks vs ur innermost qualities. Then u confirmed it, buying alla the things 2 impress girls. That doesnt work, asides a handful of women that will take you 4 ur money...surely this is not the type of woman u want 2 attract in ur life...

 

Yes...looks are great, but it lies deeper within, asides a man´s looks. Who knows,...could just be the way you carry yourself, that even YOU may not be aware of. You try too hard. That can be a major turn off to the object of your desire. Dont focus as much of your attention on trying to win girls over by impressing them, let your natural charm surface and remain there. Thats a real sexy quality in a good looking man. What you may have to offer on a financial level or material gifts, should come as an element of surprise, dont allow it to be a basis on which she measures your love...

 

I personally find a guy rather attractive if i can hold a decent conversation with him, and we just slowly learn more about each other, and find out just how much we may have in common. Its how you carry yourself around a woman. Looks & beauty in men and women is in the eye of the beholder. YOu said the chik had such great qualities, but was a pretty big girl. But u know,..ppl can and DO lose weight, and become even more beautiful...

 

I feel the same with not being interested in an obese man, and not trying to persuade you to hook up with her, but you mislead her by saying she was all you ever wanted...when you were not being truthful. This is among the worst things a man can do in misleading a woman, with deceitfulness, knowing you werent sincere. Now not only do you have to squirm yourself out of a lie, but u must also face the truth that you dont love her...she will be devistated.

 

I used to have certain physical qualities like height primarily, but i recently opened up that window of opportunity for men that are not as tall, ...lets say...

 

thru elements of a wonderful surprise...just dont set such strict standards, because someone will come along that will show u what real love is all about,...and if you dont recognize it, and allow urself to be confused with what you want versus whats good 4 u...she will move along leaving you alone and lonely...

 

im sure you can find a chik, its just that you should open up your window of opportunity with women a little more. i dunno what else to tell u...but maybe some of the guys can help u

 

good luck

 

cookies

[wishmaster28139]

Thanks to the guys that replied to my message. I read them two times each to make sure I got the pointer you guys give. I really liked the part that "it might be the way I carry myself" cause ppl tell me that sometimes. but I think you guys might be misunderstanding me in some ways. The reason I bought all the things is because girls told me that that was what they wanted in a guy back in high school and besides the stuff I bought for myself too. Like the motorcycle, I love racing it and the Jeep, I love that car. It fits my lifestyle. So ya see the things I bought fit me as a person not just a girl picker upper. I don't talk much but I love to write so maybe I just need to learn to talk to more ppl. The girls up here at college don't know that I have that stuff. And I don't really chase girls around, I talk to them for a while then I ask them out on a dinner date or something. I see some guys going up to these girls in class saying stuff like "hey baby your fine lets go out" and the girls are like "oh my GOD yes." I can't bring myself to be like that. I wasn't raised that way. I respect women too much to degrade them like that, but they still seem to love it. I like to believe GOD has a plan for me and maybe he does and it doesn't include girls at the present time. I just miss the cuddling and having someone around that you can talk to about your feelings cause god knows you can't do that with a guy lol. For a few years I didn't give a crap bout girls but now I feel that age is hitting me and I need to be looking again. Don't think of me as one of those guys that stalk ppl cause I'm a normal guy that is focused on goals in his life, i just want someone to share it with that I love. Ya see I'm not focused on looks, I just want a girl that cares about her body and wants be be acomplised in life, funny would be a bonus. Most ppl think that I'm mean for looking for a girl that is under 140, with a good personality but that's what I like. Your suppose to find some you like right and not just someone you like talking right. Oh well, someday I will find the right one.

[Gilgamesh]

those guys that just go right up to women and say "hey babe your fine, lets go out"

 

1) The women see a guy as confident and strong.

 

2) the women dont feel degraded, all the opposite, they feel special, because this guy walked by 4 other girls to tell her how he feels about her and compliment her on her looks!

 

3) she knows that if she says no to this guy, she will never have another chance, because he is so confident that he will just ask some other girl, he is not going to waste his time again with this girl. so the girl says yes, hey she might hate the guy later, but she doesnt know that yet, and he gets the date!

 

its all in the attitude dude!.