DealBreakers.

[Shakeybones]

So what are some deal-breakers for you guys and gals?

 

For me its kids and ex's because they go hand and hand.

 

Now also, women is it a deal-breaker that im 21 because i know that most girls are always like i want older guys.

[MattW]

Well, I dunno that I can really afford to be picky, considering I don't have very many options, but in general, some of the things that'd be automatic turn off's to me:

 

- Kids (not that I'm closed off to the idea of ever having kids, but it's kind of a lot to handle, especially at my age, and especially in a new relationship)

 

- I don't like girls that have major tattoos or a lot of piercings. Obviously, there's some room for that, as there's a line between tasteful and not, but generally speaking, I don't like girls that are inked up a lot, or have crazy piercings.

 

- Don't like girls that act "ghetto", and I don't like girls that are "goth" (or go for that "dark" look, if "goth" is too strong of a word).

 

- Drugs are kind of an obvious dealbreaker (no one really wants to get involved with that kind of thing, yanno?).

 

- I don't like smokers. Can't stand it, don't think I could ever date someone that smokes.

 

- Don't want to be with a girl that gets "drunk"; I don't mind a girl that drinks, but I'm not really comfortable with a girl that gets drunk off her ass all the time. Kinda speaks volumes about other aspects of her character, if you ask me.

 

Eh, I dunno, that's all from the top of my head.

[greywolf]

smoking, drugs, kids, close-minded attitude regarding sex and life in general

[Nerdyjock]

1. Drug usage (even recreational) - I've seen too many perfect couples, perfect jobs, perfect lives go down the drain because of one bad decision made on the one time someone ever used a drug.

 

2. Weight - I don't mind chubbier guys by any means... but if someone is over "chunky", to me it tells things about their lifestyle, their choices, and their discipline.

 

3. Any destructive faith. I consider myself spiritual...I don't know what more specifically to call myself. I could date a Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Atheist... but I could not date anyone who followed a faith that involved any sort of destruction.

 

4. Having a profession that demands constant travel.

 

5. This is vague, but I couldn't date someone with no ambitions or goals. I don't care if you work at McDonald's, just have goals and be a hard worker.

[Crush85]

1. Kids - this is not an option. I don't want to be a babysitter.

 

2. Controlling behavior - I already have one mother, I don't need a 2nd one.

 

There's a lot of other things, but those are the two big ones for me.

[misssmithviii]

Drugs - been there, done that... it's not something I EVER want in my life again

 

Any kind of abusive - for obvious reasons

 

Over-weight - just cannot be attracted to someone who is, simply a preference and I wouldn't be compatible with someone who doesn't at least make an effort to stay reasonably fit in their life

 

Under-ambitious - I cannot stand a vague, ambiguous and/or loose future. Goals and aspirations are a must for me.

 

Immaturity - obnoxious... just plain obnoxious.

 

Too friend-oriented - a guy who relies too much on his friends excluding me is just a sign that I'm not compatible with him.

 

Sweet-talking player - yeah NO WAY

 

There's multitudes more on my list and yeah I'm very picky. The things I'm picky about come down to weeding out the immature, the "chivalry is dead" types etc etc

 

Thankfully I've found my match ^_^

[Shallow]

A penis would be a dealbreaker for me.

 

Otherwise, there's not really one thing that would make me pack my bags and run for the hills.

 

Accept people as a whole, not just the sum of their parts. No one is perfect.

[KittyBoo]

I've already been down the step-parenting road and don't want to go there again. I don' have any kids of my own, don't want any at this point in my life and don't want to be involved with someone who has those commitments and responsibilities.

 

Won't go out with someone who smokes, does drugs or has problems with alcohol.

 

Have been cheated on so won't tolerate anyone who ever does that to me again.

 

I want to be with someone who doesn't have a negative attitude and enjoys giving back to others and isn't just all about themselves. So selfishness and ignorance would also be dealbreakers.

[velvette]

-close-minded (homophobic/racist/sexist/etc)

-drugs/alcoholic/smoker

-religious (possibly)

-kids/want kids for sure

-does not want to marry, ever

-adamant that I take on his last name upon marriage

-adamant that our potential kids take on his last name (must be some compromise)

-abusive/controlling/manipulative

-thinks war is cool/is in the army

-won't be my best friend

-aimless/lazy/unmotivated/whiny but won't do anything about it

-dislikes animals/doesn't want pets

-is stupid/ignorant/intolerant

-jaded/bitter about life

-doesn't love me as much as I love him

-has a history of cheating

-HATES all his exes (there'd better be good reason...)

-plays head games

-selfish in bed, unwilling to change

-doesn't like traveling

-does not place love/family above work/achievements

-doesn't love himself (how can I love him?!)

-suicidal/often depressed/unwilling to seek professional help

-lies (even "little white" ones!!! I can handle the same truth you can)

 

the list could go on. I'm picky because I don't mind being alone.

 

 

to answer your question OP, 21 isn't young unless you're wooing a 40 year old lol. it's all in the perspective!

[misssmithviii]

the list could go on. I'm picky because I don't mind being alone.

 

 

AMEN lmao! Some people think I'm crazy, but I agree 100% ^_^

[Dejected]

Abusive/Criminal

Smoker/drug user

Religious fanatic

Has kids (I want my own in the future, but none now).

Conservative (Wants women to stay in the kitchen, etc).

Tattoos/Piercings

Immature/obnoxious

Obese

[ava_adore]

wow so many people hate smokers on here. so if u met the guy/girl of your dreams, you'd turn them down because they smoke?

[KittyBoo]

wow so many people hate smokers on here. so if u met the guy/girl of your dreams, you'd turn them down because they smoke?

 

It is something that is so much of a turn off that, yes - I would.

[Fudgie]

OP, 21 seems fine. I like older guys (40+) but I believe I'm an "odd one" because everyone my age (20) seems to date in their age group. So I'd say you're okay.

 

 

Deal-breakers for Me:

 

-Smoking

-kids (would date a guy with grown kids who live away though)

-any kind of drug abuse/addiction

-addicted to video games/WoW and plays ALL day

-lack of ambition

-tattoos

-criminal history (like stealing, assault, etc.)

-not intelligent

-likes to party a LOT

 

 

Hm...that's all I can think of atm.

[Fudgie]

And yeah - if I met the "guy of dreams" and he's a smoker, he's getting the boot. Can't stand that habit. It's smelly, expensive, and I'd rather not be with someone who is a ticking time bomb for cancer.

[velvette]

ooh good points Fudgie! I'd have to add video game addict (I don't mind gamers, I mean I love to play too, but not obsessively) and party-animal to the list. a party once in a while is fine, but parties every single week or more... no thanks.

 

tattoos are a turn-off but not really a deal-breaker. well, gotta judge case-by-case scenario. other turn-offs include typing like 'dis', using 'u' instead of you all the time, stuff like that. possible deal-breaker if overused.

 

but yeah, smoking is definitely a deal-breaker UNLESS they are trying really damn hard to quit and there's a high chance they WILL succeed. like within a year. otherwise, I'd rather date an obese person (more likely to be healthy, and less stinky, ha). also, a person who smokes is not likely to be my "guy of dreams" lol. I've met too many smokers who smoke right in front of public entrances (and inside public places, before that ban was put in place!), and after wading through their disgusting second-hand smoke--I'm predisposed to thinking of smokers as selfish asses. I'm also somewhat allergic to second-hand smoke, it makes my throat swell up and gives me symptoms of a bad cold for days afterwards.

 

hey, there's plenty of smokers out there, they can just go date each other!

[Fudgie]

Yeah I like to game too but not obsessively.

I've dated a video game addict and it was fun for the first two dates but got kind of boring. So yeah deal breaker for me.

 

Wouldn't mind dating a "non addict" gamer though!

[pumpkinmoon]

Arrogance/inflated ego

 

Drugs

 

Disrespect

 

Kids

 

Wild partying lifestyle

 

Drugs

 

Obsessive about sports/fitness

 

Unwillingness to travel/go on holidays

 

Lying

 

Inconsiderate

 

Being two faced

 

Flirting

[greywolf]

wow so many people hate smokers on here. so if u met the guy/girl of your dreams, you'd turn them down because they smoke?

 

Honestly, I'm not really sure how you'd find out someone is the guy/girl of your dreams unless you actually dated and got to know them better.

[greywolf]

I've met too many smokers who smoke right in front of public entrances (and inside public places, before that ban was put in place!), and after wading through their disgusting second-hand smoke--I'm predisposed to thinking of smokers as selfish asses. I'm also somewhat allergic to second-hand smoke, it makes my throat swell up and gives me symptoms of a bad cold for days afterwards.

 

And people that throw their cigarette butts outside their car window. It annoys me so much. My cousin was on a bike once when the the person in the car next to him threw his butt out the window, and it went straight up my cousin's helmet and burned him.

 

Just because you smoke doesn't give you the right to litter. Also, I'm not trying to bash smokers here. Just people who litter.

[Morihei]

complusant lying

[BriarRose]

The things I would be inflexible on would be drugs, dishonesty and unkindness.