Peace of Mind...

[NowandZen]

That's a nice way of thinking... but In the last year or so I've had close family members disown me. I lost my job and six months later found another one where I work three times as hard for half the money and no benefits. My dog died... I was very ill for two months straight. I've lost a few friends. My best friend who's like a brother to me decided he was going to start chasing after my girlfriend. (He might get her now, who knows...) I know it's an unhealthy way of thinking, but it's getting harder and harder to just accept things the way they are.

 

 

Well, don't confuse acceptance of facts with resignation to a particular situation or condition. I say if you are unhappy with the way things are, do what you can to make it better.

 

What I mean by acceptance is that you realize that a condition is really happening, that it is temporary, and IT IS GOING TO BE OK. You are not your relationships, you are not your family members, you are not a disease. Get what I mean? Do not look to these things for your internal peace. That comes from within, and not from others, or from external situations.

 

As for what you have done, all that you can do is to do better FROM NOW ON.

 

Good luck.

[april15]

We all make mistakes, most of us make big ones. It is what we do after the mistakes that defines us as who we are. I think you have taken the right first step and admitted you made a mistake. Accept the results not as punishment but as the results of your actions and move forward. Since you rated the mistake as a 9.5 it will not be easy, but accept it you must. I like Zen's comment do better from now on.

[HellFrost666]

Thank all you guys for replying...

 

No major developments yet.

 

Everyone tells me not to fall into the jealousy trap... but it's hard not to just a little at this point. I have a feeling he's probably working this to his advantage when I can't see him. He's probably texting her telling her all the things he knows she wants to hear. He's probably at her work right now chatting her up. (That's if she even had to work tonight. I don't know if she did or not.) But he's not home from work yet, and I know where they all go after work.

 

I've barely eaten anything in the last few days. I haven't slept much either. I think my co workers can tell something is wrong.

 

I wanted to go to the store and pick up some things tonight... but I didn't because her Mom works there and I didn't want to run into her Mom.

 

I just want her to come home so we put this behind us... And if anyone is thinking it, no I didn't cheat on her. When I rated this a 9.5 it was because there are only two things I could think of that would be a 10. One was cheating and the other was being violent to her. It was neither of those... But still pretty up there on the scale.

[Ellie2006]

 

Everyone tells me not to fall into the jealousy trap... but it's hard not to just a little at this point. I have a feeling he's probably working this to his advantage when I can't see him. He's probably texting her telling her all the things he knows she wants to hear. He's probably at her work right now chatting her up. (That's if she even had to work tonight. I don't know if she did or not.) But he's not home from work yet, and I know where they all go after work.

 

I've barely eaten anything in the last few days. I haven't slept much either. I think my co workers can tell something is wrong.

 

Please get some rest and food in you -- that way, when she comes home, you can approach the issue with clarity. Torturing yourself with sleep- and food- deprivation will not make her come home any faster! Please cut yourself some slack and rest/eat.

 

And the whole jealousy bit -- sure, it's human nature to feel this way BUT remember, she has NEVER responded neither to his overt advances nor veiled remarks about him being attracted to her. She didnt respond BECAUSE she just does not feel the same way about him.

 

Obviously, I do not know your gf, but from all that you've told us about her, she does NOT seem like the type who'd do something intentionally hurtful to spite you. She does NOT seem like the type who'd do something totally out of her character, just because she may be in a state of vulnerability/anxiety. I.e. she's not going to get him involved because she knows that it could impact your relationship negatively. He is NOT the person she will turn to.

 

She seems like a person who has a good head on her shoulders. Trust her to make the right decision. Trust her and give her space to sort through this on her own.

 

In the meantime, please take care of yourself! You arent a robot and of course, this is influencing your job performance. BUT your job can actually be a "friend" during this time -- it get, for sure, help you get your mind off this issue and focus on something else.