What the heck do I have to do...?

[MattW]

I don't know what it is about me, but everyone seems to mistake me for being so much younger than I am. I mean, okay, I'm short (5'2", 5'3"), and my face sort of has a naturally "boyish" look to it, but I really can't do anything about either of those. I've tried a lot of things... I've bought more "form-fitting" clothes, I've tried growing facial hair, I've generally tried to change my look to something less "kiddish", and yet none of that seems to matter.

 

In the last year or two, I've encountered a lot of people that mistake me for being in my early teens (one even thought I was 12 or younger). Today, I went to a store, and a woman that worked there (who couldn't have been more than 6-7 years older than I am) mistook me for being a young child. I was so embarrassed... Worst part is, these aren't people I see as potential dates; which makes me wonder, how the heck do girls that I would be interested in see me?

 

And heh, I know I'll get some people saying "When you're older, you'll wish you looked younger!", or something to that effect, and while that's fine and dandy, it doesn't make my current situation, here in the present, any less frustrating.

[LightbulbSun]

MattW, I've posted before about how I look 16-17 years old, and I'm nearing 30. It's very frustrating, especially since people don't take you seriously as an adult.

 

I also tried growing a beard, and it didn't work. People still thought I was younger than I am, abit around 21 this time.

 

I just wanted to let you know that I feel your frustration.

[annie24]

i know it sucks, but really, when you are older it will be so much better. when you are in your 40s and 50s and your peers look like ugly blobs, you'll look 29, and that will be awesome!

 

in the meantime, carry 2 forms of ID.

[kaoticbaby]

my boyfriend has the same problem..he's in his mid-20's but he looks about 16. it makes it worse that he's not allowed to grow any facial hair because of where he works. however, what he lacks in looks he makes up for in demeanor. he speaks to adults in an authoritative manner: respectful, but clearly confident. although many people where he works give him the whole "aren't you 16?" bit, they respect him and listen to his orders because of the way he delivers them. it does make a big difference to carry yourself maturely because, unfortunately, if you cannot change your looks you have to work around them.

 

it's actually a little humorous to watch. when you see him, you expect this soft-spoken, shy type of person and then you speak to him and he completely catches you off-guard. it helps that he's learned to speak properly as well (does not use any slang and uses mature language and words.)

 

i'm the same way with my looks: i've been mistaken as 14, 15 and i'm almost 22. it does get aggravating, and since i'm a girl it's a bit harder to gain the type of respect and authority that he has managed. however, by following his example i'm a bit impressed to find the difference it made in the way adults talk to me and men approach me.

 

i hope this helps!

[MattW]

when you see him, you expect this soft-spoken, shy type of person and then you speak to him and he completely catches you off-guard. it helps that he's learned to speak properly as well (does not use any slang and uses mature language and words.)

 

Yeah, I'll admit, I'm fairly quiet and soft-spoken, though I wouldn't necessarily say I'm "shy". A little introverted, if anything. I'm also not a "slang" user, or someone that swears a lot. Seems odd, to me, because even though I might be a bit on the quiet, introverted side, I'd think that's the opposite of "child-like". Most kids I know are loud, spastic, and all over the place.

 

Unfortunately, my height makes it nearly impossible for me to come off as someone that commands respect. Nearly everyone towers over me, so it's not exactly like they'd take me any more seriously.

[kaoticbaby]

Yeah, I'll admit, I'm fairly quiet and soft-spoken, though I wouldn't necessarily say I'm "shy". A little introverted, if anything. I'm also not a "slang" user, or someone that swears a lot. Seems odd, to me, because even though I might be a bit on the quiet, introverted side, I'd think that's the opposite of "child-like". Most kids I know are loud, spastic, and all over the place.

 

Unfortunately, my height makes it nearly impossible for me to come off as someone that commands respect. Nearly everyone towers over me, so it's not exactly like they'd take me any more seriously.

i don't think being introverted or not has anything to do with it, personally. i know what you mean about kids being loud, but i think youre mistaking what i meant. i don't mean being obnoxious by any means, but projecting your voice with confidence while speaking to others. the way you dress definitely helps, as you've mentioned. i've never seen a 16 year old wear a sport-jacket or button-down on a regular outting, for instance. not that you need to dress uncomfortably everyday, but in certain situations you could benefit from it.

 

my only advice is to fake confidence while in the presence of other adults. you don't need to be the extroverted, life of the party by any means but keep your voice crisp and clear and speak as eloquently as possible. it may not work with everybody, but i'd bet you'd see a difference on the amount of respect you receive.