I broke NC and talked to her

[DeenasRhino]

After about 2 weeks of NC, I broke down and couldn't help myself. Sorry guys.

 

I texted her and she was very cold and mean towards me asking me to get out of her life. She has no sympathy or any feelings of care or anything. This is not the girl that I knew and fell in love with. She is completely different. She has changed so much and I hate it.

 

I asked her what are the things she hates about me and she gave me a few reasons.

 

I feel so horrible. I was doing so good. I was strong and was fighting the pain but it all caved in the last few days.

 

The day we broke up, I saw her in person and she promised that we would hang out one last time before she leaves on vacation to England. She also said we would remain friends. I find out now that she doesn't want to talk to me ever again and has no intention of seeing me before she leaves and doesn't want to stay friends. I don't understand how she can still play with my heart like that after. I was looking forward to that day so much and now it's never going to come.

 

I hate her.

[Cheetarah]

Oh dear, I am sorry, and I'm sorry that you're hurting.

 

Maybe this was the last straw, something you needed to see and feel in order to truly start back on the path to moving on.

 

Please don't ever open yourself up to that kind of anger, to ask her to list the things she 'hates' about you. You don't deserve that kind of abusiveness. This should be all the more a reason to sever the ties for good.

[Lastchallenge]

Let her go.. If u wanna turn the tables go nc and live well...

[iBroken]

Remember this post for the next time you feel the need to break NC.

 

Its not worth it when they respond.

[DeenasRhino]

Thank you guys for the support.

 

She was my first girlfriend that I have ever had and she meant everything to me. Maybe that is why things are hurting so much. She was my first love, kiss, sex, everything. I'm so used to having her around and talking to her and now that she is gone, I am so lonely. I cut off ties with my friends and pretty much poured 99% of my time into her. After college started, I worked hard on my studies and communication between us had died. I thought I could fix things this summer but the first day I get back I find out that she is over me and has moved on. I am still madly in love with her and want her back but she doesn't even see me as a friend. She sees me as an enemy.

 

I will try to go NC, I know I need to and it's the best thing for me. It's just real hard sometimes esp. when I'm constantly feeling alone. I just wish things were different.

[Live-N-Learn]

Sorry man this is going to be hard for awhile. Try not to make any big decisions for the next 30 days. Eat well and try to sleep even if you need to take something to help. You will get through it but it will be tough for awhile. Keep posting here we will listen.

[DeenasRhino]

I've been losing my appetite. I don't want to eat and have to force myself sometimes. Sleep is really hard too, I usually work out and tire myself out right before bed and knock. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. She was the compass to my life and now I am lost and alone.

[DeenasRhino]

I just wanted to add one more thing.

She will probably never talk to me again from this point on. We exchanged our last goodbyes again today.

She says we're not meant to be together, mostly because of my race. I am Asian and she is white. I don't understand. When we went out she said she never cared about that and that she actually loved it about me. I don't get it...

 

She is very stubborn and I've known her for a while. She never comes back to me even if it is her fault. For 2 years I've been the one coming back to her.

 

I'm going to try to stay strong and go NC but I honestly don't know how I will do that. I still have such strong feelings for her and it's so hard to ignore them sometimes. I never want to crawl back again just to be put down but sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I'll try my best to be strong.

[fr0z3n]

It's okay that you did it... I think you learned your lessons now... It is clear that this chick dont want you in her life, do you really want someone like that to be in your life?...

 

Reading your posts in this thread seems we're simmilar in situation about the break up, Im going to tell you that it will be hard but not impossible to get her out of your life... I managed to do that and now Im feeling much better... Just be strong and continue moving forward, dont let anyone or any memories ruin your path... Your not yet dead yet aren't you? Always think that whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

[DeenasRhino]

Thanks for the kind words, I am trying real hard. I've been in my bed trying not to think about her but it's all backfiring. I cannot sleep. I know I need to let go of her and move on but instead of getting better and stronger, I seem to be doing the opposite. Maybe today is just a bad day, I don't know. God I miss her.

[fr0z3n]

Thanks for the kind words, I am trying real hard. I've been in my bed trying not to think about her but it's all backfiring. I cannot sleep. I know I need to let go of her and move on but instead of getting better and stronger, I seem to be doing the opposite. Maybe today is just a bad day, I don't know. God I miss her.

 

Just think it's just bad day, of course you'll miss her specially if the breakup is still fresh but dont dwell on it too much... Think of her flaws and everything she has done to you during the times that you were together... If the negative outweighs the positive one, maybe the relation will not work in the first place. If it's the opposite (lots of positive), maybe it might work but not now... Either of the two your best bet is to leave her alone for you to heal and as a respect for her descision...

[DeenasRhino]

I know I need to do that for myself and for her. She has said she's happy with her life so I should stop going back to her. It's just a constant war inside myself and a struggle and my emotions won today's battle.

 

I've been trying to sleep but I am still restless. Been in bed for almost 3 hours now. I hope tomorrow will be better.

[Cadence44]

I cut off ties with my friends and pretty much poured 99% of my time into her.

 

This was a big mistake commonly made during first relationships. Hopefully you will learn from this and incorporate the knowledge into your next relationship.

 

You need a life outside of the relationship. Your life should not completely revolve around your significant other. If you cut your friends out, what happens if your relationship ends? Unfortunately, you are now learning this.

 

Can you get in touch with your friends? They may feel insulted that you cut them off when you were with your ex and now want their friendship again. They may not make it easy for you because being cut out of your life surely hurt their feelings but hopefully a sincere apology and a promise that you've learned your lesson will help.

[DeenasRhino]

Some of them are still there for me, some are different, some are just nonexistent.

 

A stupid thing I done and now I know. It's tough because I made a bunch of new friends when I was in college but the thing is that I am back home now for the summer. My friends at home were the ones that I had cut off and I never see the new ones I had made this past year.

 

I silly rookie mistake I had made. I look back now and every opportunity I had to hang out it was with her. And even if we didn't hang out we were just constantly on our computers talking to each other. I wouldn't go out some days because she never went out. Texting was also 24/7. I shouldn't have done that because I made myself so dependent on her and now she is gone and things are just backfiring on me.