Wife working on the road all of a sudden

[all-seeing2004]

I have been with the same woman for 15 years and married for the last 11 years. Recently my wife began accepting work assignments on the road where she is gone for 2-4 weeks at a time. I trust my wife and always have but the time away is long enough to form relationships and I am worried that after years of raising kids and a sometimes insensitive husband that she may be looking for more.

 

I miss her but I cant help feeling like there is more to this as these road assignments have always been there and she has refused. There are many men who also work on these assignments and the crews all go out on the weekends to the local pubs. Does anyone else see something more in this?

[avman]

If you've never had any reason to mistrust her before, you shouldn't start now. Just because she has the opportunity to cheat does not mean that she will.

 

Perhaps she just decided to make a move on her career. Or now that your children are older she feels more comfortable being away for a couple of weeks.

 

I'd just have a heart to heart talk with her and let her know your feelings and let her express hers. Maybe you should plan on visiting her or accompanying her on one of these assignments just to keep the marital ties strong.

 

avman

[CandleInTheWind]

I think that asking to go along or to visit when she's on one of these trips is a really good idea. See what her reaction is when you mention it. You've been together for quite a while so I'm sure you know her signs of distress or uneasiness. For instance, if she gets defensive or nervous, won't look into your eyes, or shoots down the idea very quickly then your feeling could be right.

[snowee13]

dude, i am sorry to tell you, but i talked to married women before that cheat on their husbands in this so called "work trips", to them is like a new guy, new adventure, and is usually new passion and sex. You must provide that passion and sex to her a lot, so that she doesn't have to look for it. To tell you the truth, it sounds to me like she is already cheating on you dude, damn, i know it sux, but like murphy's law, what could go wrong, will probably go wrong. This sounds messed up, but a lot of woman out there cheat and never tell their husbands.

Talk to her, look at her eyes and face, read her movements when u talk to her about this, you should know her enough to get a feeling if she is lying or not.

[all-seeing2004]

Thanks to all... When you have been together as long as we have your mate ends up becoming your confidante/sounding board and you dont have anyone else to turn to for advice. I needed to hear some other points of view from an impartial audience, once again thanks

[Val_76]

I wish to put another kind of view for your situation. I think you should look at her motivations of doing this. Maybe she only wants a little room to better come back to you and her family and those she love. Maybe she's doing this for a better pay. Maybe its a good career move for her.

 

Is she more loving when she's with you? Do she missed you and tell it to you? Maybe she just wanted to change her routine. If she's been in that job for a long time and nothing happened yet with a co-worker then there is a lot of chances nothing will happen in the future with any of this mens.

 

I've been assigned a project last year that took me away from home during the week and let me come back only in the week ends for 2 month. Great pay, lot of hours, I did it to be able to buy a house this year. My wife had doubts, but to tell you the truth our relationship got stronger because we saw we missed each other so much.

 

Be attentive to her moods and the way she is with you, but if nothing change in your couple situation then there's no need to be paranoic.

[kate111]

You mention that you think she may have an affair because you have been insensitive at times.

 

Why do you think that?

 

I think you need to address these issues and work on not taking her for granted and rebuild your relationship so that she will not be tempted to wander.

 

Maybe you could:

 

1. Start buying her flowers and small gifts as gestures of how you appreciate her. Dinner. Try to start noticing the things she does for you and telling her how much you love her. Serenade her all over again. Poetry etc.

 

eg "wow look at these beautiful children we have had together. Thank you so much for being such a beautiful wife and the mother of our children"

 

You need to talk with her. Try to rebuild your relationship and also talk about your fears of her going away. You need to sit down and communicate with her more.

 

Then she won't be as tempted.