where do i go from here?

[street]

This all started last may when after nearly 4 years my girlfriend broke up with me Im 26 shes 22, I was gutted and never really got a reason, well she started seeing someone else after a couple of months I was devastated but we kept in minimal contact…around Christmas I started seeing someone new…well the ex found out and was gutted….she dumped her boyfriend and came back to me…I finished with the new girl and we started going back out….fast forward 5 months and she finished with me again!!!

 

Im upset but it was kinda my doing this time, I told her she wasn't making me happy, I was on edge all the time and deep down always wondered if she really wanted me back i got a response but not the one i wanted-she then said that she only really saw me as a friend though one day she knows she will want to be with me!!!

 

This is all so confusing, she still after all this time doesn't really know what she wants, I want her but I need to be happy in that relationship and second time round I wasn't….

 

I do love her and she says she loves me, so why aren't we together??!! …I feel we have split up for the best but it still hurts like hell….i deserve someone who wants to be with me 100%!

 

I guess what im trying to say is where the hell so I go from her, I just feel so lost! I have great family and friends but I feel so alone!! Its been over a week with no contact..at least this time I learnt not to beg etc!! I have more self respect this time round!!

[kuhl282000]

Hello Street

 

Your are right you do deserve to be with someone that wants you 100%. I could not agree with you more. And the self respect you have developed, is that sometimes painful learning process of having a loving relationship. And yes it some how makes us stronger. You did nothing wrong, however trying to put it back together the second time around is never easy. Most couples in my opinon fail because like you said you did not get the answer or feeling you were looking for. The lonely part is normal, because you have to find a way to fill the void. It sounds like you have a great support system with friends and family. Remember 3 billion women on this planet that we know of. Give it some more time. You spent several years together, and losing someone special is almost the same as someone dying. So like i said give it some time. Consider going on Yahoo personals and posting an ad. It would be allot of fun, and I'm sure you would meet someone new.

 

Warm Regards

Kuhl 8) 8) 8)

[romantic sweetheart]

Hi street. I just read your post, and I want you to know I am in a very similar situation; I am in the middle of a living nightmare of pain. I have had a on/off situation like yours, and am again in the "off." The reality is as you said: we deserve someone who wants to be with us 100 percent. Right now it seems impossible that we will ever mend from the pain we are feeling, but somehow, someway, we do. It's hard to let go of the hope we can work things out. It is hard to let go of all of the time and passion we poured into our relationship. We are left standing here, cut off from loving, suddenly, brutally, relentlessly. It's impossible to just "stop" loving someone, ,because love is more than a feeling, it is what we do, what we say, what we think, what we are with another living soul. And now we are left bewildered, asking "why?" and "how?" and not getting the answers that we want.

 

But we are here right now on this site to answer each other's questions, to take over the role of support and compassion that our past loves used to provide. We are the ones hurting, so we are the ones who are left with the tough questions, the tough "next moves." It's going to take time to get through it all, but we must be patient, and we must let ourselves grieve. Not talking with our ex is the first step, and the hardest. it seems like self-inflicted torture, but all of us here are stepping aboard this same ship. We will not sink. We will reach the journey's end and find out that life still has love in store for us.

 

Hold on, street. Our souls here have been brought together, tied to one another as we weather out life's toughest lessons. There's a lot on our plates right now, but this isn't the main course. This won't be all there is, as hollow as that may sound right now. There is going to be a day when we will find that 100 percent, and you know what? We are the lucky ones because we have gone to the edges of doom, and we will never take for granted the passion and beauty of true and lasting love. What we yearn for, we will find. It is only a matter of time.......