Sparkly Eyes Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Of course I'd marry a woman who was more successful than myself. I'd be happy for her success, and proud of her achievements. Marriage isn't a competition; it's a partnership. Triumphs are a shared joy. I'm a woman and if he has this attitude I'd definitely marry him. Seriously, I don't understand why women care about status so much and I would absolutely love a guy who is not intimidated by me and can instead be proud of me. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 My father, however, is very much bothered by it. I'm assuming he feels I should be in a relationship where he feels my SO will be taking care of me, not the other way around. While he has no say in what I do with my life anymore, and that it's a daddy thing - no one will ever be good enough for his daughter - it hurts that he doesn't approve. I would just try to take solace in the fact that this attitude is slowly but surely dying off. Women don't need to "be taken care of" any more than men. We don't live in caves any more. Link to comment
Lucius Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 I wouldn't mind either, if the woman were actually not concerned with my lack of financial ambition. But I imagine that would be a rare characteristic to find in a woman who put her focus on financial ambition. It would be kind of like finding a female body builder that didn't mind dating a couch potato with a beer gut. Remember, though, that we're talking about someone "in the same career". With that in mind, a better comparison would be a more successful female body builder dating a less successful male body builder. The disparity would struggle to be terribly great, I'd imagine, given it's the same field. Link to comment
JusticeLaw9 Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Pursuing higher education and putting in the long hours to extend and bank in on a killing salary is all well and good. But unfortunately it doesn't do jack in terms of bettering your relationship experiences or lack thereof. I've seen women empowered by their careers and higher education but still lack the maturity and streetwise common sense when dealing with the opposite sex. And some of them run into the same problems over and over again, yet to learn from their mistakes; making them a victim of thier history. Link to comment
sidehop Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 But unfortunately it doesn't do jack in terms of bettering your relationship experiences or lack thereof. My thoughts exactly, if the person's decision and view on their partner/spouse being more successful or feel any sort of jealousy or resentment than it's probably going to cause a conflict. Same field or not, if two people have unbiased and loving relationship the differences shouldn't matter while keeping such career and relationship separate, not entangle them because one is successful than the other. Link to comment
IntotheWild Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Remember, though, that we're talking about someone "in the same career". With that in mind, a better comparison would be a more successful female body builder dating a less successful male body builder. The disparity would struggle to be terribly great, I'd imagine, given it's the same field. Ah, well... I guess that is the topic, isn't it? Link to comment
Hermes Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 Absolute agreement, Lucius. Of course I'd marry a woman who was more successful than myself. I'd be happy for her success, and proud of her achievements. Marriage isn't a competition; it's a partnership. Triumphs are a shared joy. H Link to comment
Rangafro Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Maybe I'm saying this because I'm still young and naive but I can't see myself as a very career-oriented person in the typical sense. Success in a career for me is just doing something meaningful to me, I don't invest my self-worth into climbing the corporate ladder and banking the highest paycheck. Just having a partner who shared the same passions and is in the same field sounds perfect to me. Link to comment
AlwaysNeedHelp Posted June 7, 2010 Author Share Posted June 7, 2010 well i guess as a conclusion, it can cause problem and it might not.. Life is full of things like that where you dont know the answer or dont know whats right to do.. I guess you just leave things happen as they happen and go with the flow of things.. and God will do his thing. and as they say: If your problem has a solution, then why worry about it ? if your problem doesnt have a solution, then why worry about it ? Worry wont prevent anything from happening and sometimes u cant stop worrying so worry! lol and whatever.. to put it straight: thats life deal with it Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I never used to care about career of a partner, but now as I'm getting older, I think it's less about career and more about ambition, drive and a desire to improve oneself. I push myself very very hard constantly trying to improve myself, be healthier, more active, more successful. And if a partner doesn't do that, it's a total buzzkill. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I refuse to date a man who is not as intelligent or good at his job as I am. Period. I am a teacher and if he wasn't as good as me at this, I would like him as a person, but date him? Nope. Link to comment
bar35 Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Wow, status is really a difficult thing to struggle with. I suggest that you take a long hard look at what status means to you. It is pretty well documented that women with higher IQ's often have a more difficult time getting married. I expect that this is because of a couple of factors. 1. Men are conditioned to be the "strong one" in the family. 2. Women are conditioned to be weaker, and what happens from there is the perfect storm of gender roles, love, and self esteem struggles. Free your mind of social nonsense, focus on what is really worth focusing on, such as how you feel about the woman that you are with and what you want to achieve together. If you are destined to have a more successful career than her, so be it, if she is going to out perform you career wise, then you are going to have to decide what is really important to you. Be with a weaker woman or grow as a human being. Link to comment
IntotheWild Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I refuse to date a man who is not as intelligent or good at his job as I am. Period. I am a teacher and if he wasn't as good as me at this, I would like him as a person, but date him? Nope. Why is that? Link to comment
Kaiser_Soze Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I absolutely would. It is so rewarding to see first hand someone you love be successful in their pursuits. Especially to be able to understand and value all the hard work it took her to get to that point. I would be very proud as long as she was humble. If she had a poor attitude about her success, we wouldn't be a match anyway. Oh and I wouldn't take her name... Link to comment
Taikero Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Why wouldn't I marry a woman who did well in her career? More combined money = more comfortable lifestyle + better retirement. Where's the downside? Link to comment
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