konstantine Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 My boyfriend and I have been together officially for about 3 years. We love each other very much, and for the most part we have tons of fun together and he is my best friend. I recently graduated from school and am getting ready to begin my career. I have started to think a lot lately about my future and where it is going. He and I have talked about marriage and kids together somewhat in passing. I know for a fact that he wants to move in with me, but I don’t really want to move in with someone unless we are planning on marrying in the near future. But we have never really had a full on conversation about these issues and what our intentions are exactly. I know that he does want to get married, and he does want children, but I find it a little strange at this point that I don’t know exactly what he plans on happening in the future. Last night I tried to ask him about it more directly. He sort of gave me short answers and threw in a couple jokes. I got somewhat upset because I was trying to have a mature conversation and get some answers and it seemed like he was avoiding it. At this point, he started to get a bit angry with me. I can’t really understand why he was mad at me for asking. He said “You know that I want to marry you but I don’t have the money yet. I tell you this all the time!” In reality, I don’t think he has ever told me that directly. I guess he’s upset because any time he realizes he can’t do what he wants financially, it is a blow to his ego, which is why he diverts by joking. But I just want to have a mature adult conversation about his plans, and stop speaking only in “somedays”. Is this too much to ask? How can we talk about these things without it seeming like I expect him to buy me a ring tomorrow and rush me down the aisle? Because I truly don’t expect that at all. I would just like… I don’t know, direction? I want to know where he expects this long-term relationship to go. Or should I just accept what he has told me thus far and let it go? Link to comment
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