Coming out of this with pride intact

[kate111]

Part of what hurts a dumpee up is that they lose their pride. They are rejected and humiliated. Sometimes publicly sometimes not. Their ego is damaged. Their trust is broken, whether it be becasue the ex ran off with someone else, cheated or just left them alone.

 

What are the best strategies for coping with this aspect of things?

 

And what attitude can you take to somebody who caused these things?

 

What is the best way of saying to an ex, "screw you I don't care anyway", "ive moved on" or the like?

 

I'm kind of thinking silence is the answer myself. It cannot be misconstrued and it is an action to show the ex you really do NOt need them in your life anymore.

 

Is there any other strategies?

[EatZ]

Part of what hurts a dumpee up is that they lose their pride. They are rejected and humiliated.

 

Hit the nail on the head right there kate.

 

For me it was a deep seeded humiliation and sense of rejection that actually prevented me from talking to anyone about the breakup. I was too embarrassed to face my friends and family, and not talking to anyone about it only made things worse.

 

The best strategies for coping? Talk. Cry. Beat up your pillow. Simply let it all out in any way possible.

 

What attitude? I'd say be angry at them. Be angry that they could have done this to you. Be infuriated that after everything they promised you and everything you did for them that they could possibly have made such a fool of you. I've found feeling angry towards my ex allows me to numb my feelings and kill any hope in its tracks. It makes the fact that the relationship is over SO much easier to handle when you don't actually WANT it back. I know now (from my own experience) that clinging to false hope is a very dangerous thing. I still struggle with it every day. I'm 5 weeks into a hurtful break up, and it only takes one thought to bring crashing down...

 

What is the best way to "stick it to" your ex? I'd say the same as you, silence. No contact is a way of saying "I'm stronger now", which for any dumper should be a kick in the teeth.

 

... Or possibly a god send, if they were feeling guilt for having hurt you...

[ShuShu Fontana]

Living well is the best revenge, honey. Or at least looking like it.

[Mun]

The best way to deal with a break up is to just keep going. No contact whatsoever to keep your dignity intact. It feels as though you are not "doing anything" but in reality you are doing so much. Your silence says: I am above this, I am mature, I have class. You keep your self-respect and your behavior says you are a lady/gentleman.

 

You don't go on Jerry Springer yelling "bloody murder" (sorry.. I'm in a cheery mood this morning)

[TrueHeart]

Its never easy for either party. The best way to really cope is keeping busy, quite honestly. Anyone that says that its easy to dump someone is absolutely wrong... unless particular circumstances allow... Even so, the pain begins...

 

Keep busy... thats my own personal addition to this...