Been NC for 2 mo's, doing great, but I have a financial problem...

[Exchange]

I have been doing very good with NC for 2 months. I have had no desire to text her, call her, whatever...and I am seriously almost on my way to saying I am 100% healed and over my ex.

 

However I have to text my ex about getting her off the lease. We got our place in March, and that was the same month she broke it off with me. She ended up getting a place with her new bf, but her name is still on the lease of the place I am still residing. My landlord says all we have to do is write up a new lease agreement, but she'd have to be present to sign off on it.

 

I don't want to contact my ex, and I know its gotta get done because I don't want her coming back. I just don't know how I should approach this situation or what I should say.

 

Also another problem I have is the car loan is in both our names, but we both know the car was for me since I sold my last one to get her an engagment ring. It's a 5 year loan, so I guess I would still need to be in contact with her until I can get the loan in my name.

 

It just sucks because I've come this far with NC, and I really feel seeing her again might just put me back to square 1. It also might create those feelings of animosity and bitterness I felt, that I don't want to feel again.

[jbr666]

Try to refinance the car loan. If you can borrow the money someplace else, it should just be a case of getting a settlement figure from the finance company and paying them off. As for the lease, is it for 12 months? I don't understand why he would need her to sign anything? surely he can just write you up a new one? If she isn't paying her half of the rent (because she has moved out) she is in effect in breach of contract already...

[Exchange]

Well I talked to my landlord about this and one of us has to pay the monthly rent. It's not like I can pay for just half of my share, you know what I mean?

 

Yeah its a 12 month lease.

 

I've looked into refinancing the car, but its much too early since I just got it. The interest rates I have been quoted are much too high at the moment. I can't bite the bullet.

 

I think she needs to be there because she has to sign off on being on the lease, sort of speak. She has to give permission to remove her name off the lease. It's like if you were to get a place with a roomate, you can't just go to the landlord and write up a new lease without the other's consent.

[Kinkz]

OK this is going to be really difficult for you but if its 100% necessary that you DO need to contact her to get the finance issues sorted then you just have to be strong about it. Its been two months of no contact (which in my opinion is still at the very early age and is just as tough as week one), at least its not been 6 months, or a year or more. It would have been MORE difficult to see/contact her again after that long. Not to mention, it being awkward.

 

Also, what may help you avoid the bitterness/animosity is, having some sort of a mutual friend with you, just in case if things get heated (as in anger), the friend can step in. Furthermore, having a friend with you will distract you from thinking about all the emotional stuff etc.

[RedDress]

For the lease, I'd make arrangements with the landlord to sign the papers and to 'hold' them until she comes to sign-off. Just explain the situation to the landlord (with as little detail as possible)... that you broke up... that you can't see her, etc. Or say that you have different schedules and can't make it at the same time! She needs to see the landlord before it becomes "official". She does not need to see you. You should not have to be in the same room together. You can even get a divorce (in a lot of instances - uncontested) without having to see each other. Surely, she can sign-off on the lease without you there.

 

For the car? Bite the bullet. Any money you lose is worth being able to cut ties...

[Exchange]

For the lease, I'd make arrangements with the landlord to sign the papers and to 'hold' them until she comes to sign-off. Just explain the situation to the landlord (with as little detail as possible)... that you broke up... that you can't see her, etc. Or say that you have different schedules and can't make it at the same time! She needs to see the landlord before it becomes "official". She does not need to see you. You should not have to be in the same room together. You can even get a divorce (in a lot of instances - uncontested) without having to see each other. Surely, she can sign-off on the lease without you there.

 

For the car? Bite the bullet. Any money you lose is worth being able to cut ties...

 

I gotcha about the lease thing, I'll speak with my landlord. Now for the car I can't. It would put me over my budget, and I wouldn't be able to afford my important bills.

[Exchange]

Got this text from my ex, speak of the devil:

 

"Please don't be petty and not answer me. This is something we need to have done. If you don't respond to me today I will call the bank, ok?"

 

I never even got a text before this or even a call!

 

I kind of want to say:

 

"Lol yeah good luck with that."

 

What do I say?