help!! panic attack!!

[loulou37]

HAD TO POST!!

 

jesus i feel awful.... any advice to get me through this would be appreciated....

 

my ex has mondays and tuesdays off work, i checked a website he uses (i know i shouldn't) but when i seen he hadn't been on, i had a panic attack and starting imagining all this stuff, i had images in my head of him with some girl in one of the bars we used to go to on the beach...i know i shouldn't do this to myself but i feel i'm losing control again, it's summer out in spain now and he'll be out enjoying himself while i'm with my world falling apart!!

 

i'm here shaking and crying...why can't i just get on with my life and get him out of my head. i know it's inevitable, him with someone else, but the thought is killing me

[alamina]

You need to step away from the computer. You need to either go out for a brisk walk or go somewhere in your house or yard and move, do jumping jacks, jog...whatever. Get rid of the adrenaline rush. It'll feel useless at first but you will feel better after a few minutes.

 

All of this has to come from YOU. There is no magical answer or solution. You're the one that has to kick herself in the arse and STOP checking up on his online profiles. Take a break from the Internet. Trust me...it's the only way.

 

You have the power to stop this pain. No one here can make it stop. Only YOU.

[Hermes]

why can't i just get on with my life and get him out of my head. i know it's inevitable, him with someone else, but the thought is killing me

 

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this today. It is part of a process, unfortunately. Alamina gives good advice. None of this is easy, so all you can do is take it day by day. Keep away from anything to do with him. He may well have hitched up with someone, or not. But that is not your concern.

 

YOU, Loulou, are your concern, as are your children. I believe you have two? Try somehow to fill your days with activities, and get in some socialising if you can.

 

Good luck

H

[loulou37]

i know your both right, i don't know why i look, it makes me feel so crap to think that he's already moved on..i've had an awful 2 days, i know it's all my own fault, why does he deserve to be so happy!

[Hermes]

Nothing is YOUR fault Loulou. Keep that thought in front of you, write it on the wall if necessary.

 

You have no way of knowing whether he is happy or not. And what he deserves, or not, well that has no bearing on you now.

 

Try to find the strength, try to get rest, try to eat good food, but mainly keep that mind occupied!

 

H

[loulou37]

i have been eating and sleeping now, it's just i know his routine, i know what days off he has what he does everything and i follow him around in my head all day. i just wish i could stop...i was doing so much better last week. i don't know why it's all going wrong.

[alamina]

When I removed my ex from social networking sites, and stopped checking up on him, I had a mini panic attack. My heart was pounding furiously. I drank a whole glass of wine like it was water! Then, something wonderful occurred. I felt RELIEF! Checking on them is like touching fire. It's going to burn!

[loulou37]

When I removed my ex from social networking sites, and stopped checking up on him, I had a mini panic attack. My heart was pounding furiously. I drank a whole glass of wine like it was water! Then, something wonderful occurred. I felt RELIEF! Checking on them is like touching fire. It's going to burn!

you are so right, i've got to stop, i really have, it's not helping me. thanx for your advice. alamina, hermes.xx

[Hermes]

Lolou:

 

It won't be the end of the world if you get from your doctor maybe something "light" to help you through these pretty debilitating panic attacks. Not long term, you understand. But to get you through the worst.

 

H

[loulou37]

Lolou:

 

It won't be the end of the world if you get from your doctor maybe something "light" to help you through these pretty debilitating panic attacks. Not long term, you understand. But to get you through the worst.

 

H

i am already on antidepressants, i must admit i forgot them the last 2 days, that's maybe why i'm feeling low.

[lavenderdove]

Little windows into his world like that are really bad for you... you need to really resist the temptation to do that, because taking little peeks at him gives you the feeling you are in control and connected to him still, but really, you aren't. And if you see something bad, it totally throws you for a loop like this.

 

So at this point, this misery is self inflicted from trying to keep tabs on his life. You can't help that he left you, but you can help from extending the pain by doing things like trying to keep tabs on him thru the internet.

 

Make a pact with yourself to NOT do any internet 'research' on him. You know it is causing you pain and extending the time you obsess about him. Everyone obsesses about an ex after a breakup for awhile, but your task is to try to break that obsession so that you can heal and move on.

 

So you are more in control than you think you are, because you can control yourself from snooping on the internet for information on him. If you hadn't snooped, you wouldn't be having this attack, right? So remind yourself of that next time you are tempted to try to find info about him online. It's a little step in the right direction if you can break that habit.

[loulou37]

thanx lavender,you are soo right, i need to get some self control. i'm just so weak.

[Petra S]

Loulou! I completely understand.

 

Post breakup, I was a complete mess. I googled "how to get you ex back" a million times, downloaded a few e-books regarding the same subject, and checked his FB religiously (even though I deleted him, I could still see his profile picture which was a picture of us. Strange.). Every night I was on ENA drinking wine and doing my best to "go NC." As you can tell from my previous posts, my ex is SO not worth it! Anyone who can walk away from you is not worth it.

 

I am doing much better now, but I still have moments of panic when I hear a song we used to listen to, run into a mutual friend, drive by a restaurant we used to frequent...you know how it goes. But the panic is becoming less frequent and time has informed my perspective.

 

Hang in there! You will survive this and come out better than before. xoxo

[Hermes]

Loulou:

 

The "practicalities" of life are of great therapeutic value at times such as this. Because they take your mind off the horrible aftermath of break-up, that's why. Are you working, as in, in a job? I think you said you were living with yoour mother (and two children)? Yes?

 

Somehow or other it is advisable to fill your days, and evenings for that matter, so that you get to bed healthily tired.

Or do something you always wanted to do, maybe something different, give it a whirl.

 

If you stay indoors and ponder all day you will drive yourself crazy.

 

H

[loulou37]

Yes i got 2 kids, i work part time, i cut my work down cause i couldn't cope, i have just spent 2 days indoors, i didn't even feel like getting dressed, i miss him so much thanx guys for all your replies, i just don't know where i'd be without you all, i mean that.x.

[Hermes]

We are here for you, Loulou. Just take care of yourself, and try not to spend too much time indoors or pondreing. Easier said than done I know.

 

No one is worth this kind of pain and tears, believe me, Loulou, and less so this person.

 

H

[quirky]

Yes you are not alone loulou. I felt so pathetic at times after the breakup, I used to read some posts here and people seemed so much more reasonable, I was like a mad woman inside (never broke NC surprisingly). I won't go into details but all reason had gone out of the window. Everyone feels weak. I follow the fake it till you make it approach. I say "what would the strong and confident me do?" and I try to do it. Then by doing it you become strong. Also try and eliminate any competition you might feel towards your ex regarding the healing process, thinking of what he's doing will not help you in the slightest. You can get through it and I promise it gets better.

[somberchic]

LouLou, you are soooo NOT alone!!! My ex just dumped me 3 weeks ago...after dating for almost 2 years...the irony is that we had a pretty good relationship...those are the hardest to let go...I've been drinking beer and checking this site out like its the only thing that's going on in my life...its nice to know that I'm not alone...but when reality hits and he's still not there and out of your life...you wanna just crawl under the bed sheets, fall asleep, and never wake up again. Whats worse is when you have pleasant dreams about him, only to wake up to a crappy reality. Hang in there. Keep posting. We have eachother's support!

[loulou37]

Yes you are not alone loulou. I felt so pathetic at times after the breakup, I used to read some posts here and people seemed so much more reasonable, I was like a mad woman inside (never broke NC surprisingly). I won't go into details but all reason had gone out of the window. Everyone feels weak. I follow the fake it till you make it approach. I say "what would the strong and confident me do?" and I try to do it. Then by doing it you become strong. Also try and eliminate any competition you might feel towards your ex regarding the healing process, thinking of what he's doing will not help you in the slightest. You can get through it and I promise it gets better.

thanx quirky...yea i am so trying to be strong...soon as i can stop thinking bout what he's doing i'll be good. I do want to get on with my life, just like anyone else here, some days it's just so hard...i'm sure i'll get there.

[loulou37]

LouLou, you are soooo NOT alone!!! My ex just dumped me 3 weeks ago...after dating for almost 2 years...the irony is that we had a pretty good relationship...those are the hardest to let go...I've been drinking beer and checking this site out like its the only thing that's going on in my life...its nice to know that I'm not alone...but when reality hits and he's still not there and out of your life...you wanna just crawl under the bed sheets, fall asleep, and never wake up again. Whats worse is when you have pleasant dreams about him, only to wake up to a crappy reality. Hang in there. Keep posting. We have eachother's support!

i'm glad i'm not alone here, i feel so much better when i read all your posts...i think somberchic i'm feeling just like you are right now, it's awful but yea it makes me feel better in a way, i'm not alone. It'll all be over 1 day, i soo can't wait till the pain goes away.

 

feel free to PM me anytime ok.x.