Letting go now

[confused2010]

I wrote a letter to my ex. It feel better to let it all out. I didn't intend to send it when I wrote it because I don't really want a reply from him. But I am posting it here so that is "goes somewhere" and that makes me feel a bit better. Plus it really puts it out there for me to see, and seeing is believing.

 

Dear....

 

I'm letting you go now. I know that is what I have to do. It's the only thing I have control over now. I've thought about ending all this misery but then I think about you and what that would do to you and I can't do it. I can't hurt you like that. I cant be selfish like that anymore. I've already been selfish enough during our time together. It's now time for me to think about you for a change. And that is why I'm choosing to let go. I want you to be happy, even if it's without me. You have given me so much. I could never repay you, so this is the least I can do. I know and understand that'll our paths will probably never cross again due to my past misjudgement, immaturity, and lack of understanding. But I am ok with it now. I cherish the times that we did share and value it with all my heart. But now is the time for me to let it all go. I would be lieing to myself if I said I didn't want you back, but I'd also be lieing to myself if I thought that you'd be back. Our time has come and gone. It's gone now and that is just that. I will stop seeking answers to questions I already know and answers to questions I know will never be answered. I love you with all my heart and sometimes I was too insecure to show it. I love you in a way that I can not explain, not even to myself. But somethings are better left unexplained. But I do know that if I loved you at all I would let you go. I'm going to do that now, let you go. Along with that I'm letting go of everything in the past, all the feelings, whether they be good or bad. I have to let them all go. The only thing I am holding onto is the fact that I want you to be forever happy. * I will not stand in the way of that. I know I have some growing to do, and I will do so. I pray to God you will lead a healthy and wonderful life. That is all I can hope for. * I love you with all my heart but I have to let that love go now. I have to stop living in the past because the past is not where I need to be. I need to be in the present. And the present is right here, right now. We are no longer together and will never be together ever again. God, it is so painful to say that but it is the truth that I must accept. It's over, it's over, it's over....forever. I hope you find what it is that you need in life. Even though I am letting go of you and the past you will always be in my prayers. You will always be a part of me and that is something I can not deny or want to deny. You have filled my life with joy, laughter, tears, hopes, and dreams. And for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. * *

[Live-N-Learn]

Confused,

 

Good for you for sending the letter if it makes you feel better and gives YOU the closer you need to move on and heal. It was a very honest letter that expressed your undying love for him.

 

I am only fearful for you that if he does not respond at all, that you will be crushed. So I really hope you sent it for your good and not to get a response.

[confused2010]

Confused,

 

Good for you for sending the letter if it makes you feel better and gives YOU the closer you need to move on and heal. It was a very honest letter that expressed your undying love for him.

 

I am only fearful for you that if he does not respond at all, that you will be crushed. So I really hope you sent it for your good and not to get a response.

 

Oh, I did not send it. I wrote it with the intention of NOT sending it. I didn't really write it to get a reply from him, I wrote it for myself. I need to show myself that it's time to let go now.(it's been about 6 months since the break up and I've done enough counter intuitive things! Lol)

 

And like you said, I think I really would be crushed if he did not respond...actually, I think I would be crushed even if he DID respond because it's not going to be anything that will help me heal. So I just wrote it for myself and just had to find a place for it to go...