Where to meet guys after college??

[Jlz]

Recently, my bf of one year and I broke up. It's been a few days since and I've been really really miserable and lonely and doubtful I'll ever be in a relationship again. I was introduced to him by a mutual friend.

 

Ever since graduating from college 2 years ago, I can't seem to meet guys. It took a year before I met my ex and that was through a friend. I didn't meet him on my own. In college, I had no problems getting dates simply because everyone was single and looking to date. Even though I am shy and quiet, it wasn't a problem cause guys did the approaching. But in the "real world", it's so different. At work, I'm the youngest person in my department (23). Most everyone else is in their upper 20's to early 30's and already in a relationship or married.

 

I tried the community, I do volunteer work, I joined clubs and gym. But again, not a great way to meet single guys.

 

I'm just at a complete loss. I know you'd probably suggest friends again, but tbh, I don't have that many friends here. Most friends from college and hs are scattered accross the world. I have more long distance friendships than local friends, which is also a problem. Making friends and finding a guy.

 

What I am missing? Where did you meet your bf/gf?

[newwave]

After college, a few ways I met people:

 

Joining an organization. Doesn't have to be a singles group. Maybe an interest you like. However, I must warn you to join an organization that attracts the gender you are looking for. I knew someone wanting a man and joined a quilting guild. While there are male quilters, most are women.

 

Bars. I don't recommend this one but have known people who met this way.

 

Church. Know several who met this way.

[evandang00]

hehe, I would like see the answers for this question too, cauz it will be very useful to me.

Bars: I doubt it will work for Jlz, she won't feel comfortable under that environment

Church: It only works if she is a religious person

 

More ideas? Suggestions?

[Batya33]

Ater college I met men at parties, singles dances, through written personal ads, through friends, set-ups, at work and through work colleagues. Some of the friends were people I met through volunteer work and at religious organizations. I made sure to continue to live in the major city I grew up in and I moved as soon as I could afford to out of my parents' house and moved right into the middle of where the singles scene was.

 

For my serious relationships after college I met them through friends, a written personal ad, at a religious retreat, and at work. The friends were a college friend and a work/school friend. I married the guy I met at work but not until 14 years after we first met.

[Momake]

I am also interested in hearing the answer to this question - for my single guy friends. To answer the second part of your question though... I met my girlfriend in undergrad.

 

My suggestion would have been through mutual friends though... had you not already ruled that out in your post.

[wsim]

I'm in a very similar situation but I am a single guy in my mid 20's. Work is out of the question as pretty much all of my co-workers are married or in long-term relationships. The very few that are single are much older than me. Almost everyone I know has had a relationship before except myself. I never had a girlfriend before. It is evident that I was left behind and life has passed me by. Being single for your entire life isn't easy and certainly screws up your mentality at times.

 

Right now, I am thinking either activity groups or through mutual friends. I have tried the online route with no luck. I have to admit that it seems much harder to meet single people once you are outside of school. Pretty depressing actually.

 

Interested in hearing what other people say.... especially if they are in this situation.

[mirrorman]

I'm in a very similar situation but I am a single guy in my mid 20's. Work is out of the question as pretty much all of my co-workers are married or in long-term relationships. The very few that are single are much older than me. Almost everyone I know has had a relationship before except myself. I never had a girlfriend before. It is evident that I was left behind and life has passed me by. Being single for your entire life isn't easy and certainly screws up your mentality at times.

 

As another single man whom life has passed by (I was standing right at the stop and even waved it down, fercryinoutloud!), I recommend against looking for a relationship at work. If it goes south, you'll either be stuck working with someone who makes you feel terrible, or stuck looking for another job.

 

I'd also like to suggest that you open yourself up to the possibility of dating an older woman, if that's something you might be able to get your mind around. Younger men, to them, are like gold (some people refer to such women by the name of a link removed).

 

In any event, I know firsthand how involuntary celibacy can mess with your mind (see my posting on that subject elsewhere here). FWIW, my first relationship (totally unexpected and brief though it was) was with a woman who knew a friend of mine. IOW, sometimes the end to a dry spell can be just as sudden and unexpected as a summer thunderstorm.

 

Just sayin' (for my benefit as well as yours!).

[bruinsy81]

I disagree about the not looking for a relationship at work particularly if you happen to be shy.Most shy people are not going to be very comfortable at bars/clubs..I would recommend a shy person look at work,through friends or family or environments/activities in which they feel comfortable

[friendsoulmate]

I have rather conservative, Christian values and beliefs and I grew-up in a very liberal, anti-religious university town. If you are college-age, in your early twenties, most everyone socializes through meetups at the university, university housing, university sporting events, etc. Now that I am older, at 40, there is no easy social outlet, such as being a university student. I don't like sports anyway. I like exercise and recreation, but not sports. I think about the problem of my loneliness everyday. I feel damaged by my years of loneliness and I don't know how I will learn to feel happy again, once I fall-in-love and get married.