Bad Night Last Night, suggestions?

[jenna-is-here]

It has been 5-6 weeks since my bf of 4 years packed up and moved out.

 

If feel like the pain is not getting better, it is getting worse. Things feel heavier. Starting yesterday evening, I couldn't stop crying and it was the same this morning. It was the sit-on-the-floor-hunched-over-hard-cry. I feel so hopeless & empty.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get past the cry? I am afraid I will be stuck in the sad for months to come. Has anyone done anything they can recommend that helped them get to acceptance?

[Little lady]

I suggest talking it out with family, friends. No doubt you're feeling sad and upset and it really helps to talk these things out to acknowledge your feelings.

 

Write a list in word and write down what you hated about him and your relationship. Re-read it and add to it as needed.

 

Write him some letters you'll never send,maybe one day you could show him.

 

Think of why you two actually broke up and what happened. No use on regretting it now, it's too late. But realizing what you and he did wrong in the relationship helps you to own up to your own contribution to the downfall of the relationship.

 

Again hang out with some friends, make some future plans that sound extremely fun!

 

Watch your favorite movies that don't remind you of him

 

Focus on yourself and your family make yourself pretty, get a pedicure, go work-out think very highly of yourself

 

Start some sentences with "I am ______" like "I am strong, and I will get over this" those kind of simple words are really empowering and they do work.

 

I'm going through the same thing and I'm just taking it moment to moment, but with this I am making plans, I wasn't going to go to school during the summer but signed up for some classes, and I'm planning a few trips with a few friends, so chin up!

[emma j]

Hey,

Aw the "sit-on-the-floor-hunched-over-hard-cry" how i enjoy them...joking. i have no real advice because i am currently having them. day 3 of break-up. i'm heading to the docs on monday to help me through this. had to go through it two years ago with the same guy and feel into a depression so theres no way i'm going through it without drugs. I dunno maybe you should visit your doc. i'm also considering counselling, for a bit, just to help me though.

 

i hate that crying though. Its just so allconsuming. It just happened to be about half an hour ago. ugh.

 

I like to think and say "we will be ok" but i can't see me getting out of this funk anytime soon. good luck

[lostnwguy]

I am at two months since the end of an 8 month relationship I was a part of. It ended fast and left me with so many questions. Some days are going to be hard. A lot of times though the pain lasts for more than a day. Lately it seems the weekends are the hardest. I have a lot that could be keeping busy but I get so wrapped in the emotions that I just find myself on the floor in the fetal position. Angry and sad. Then with some time and maybe a drive or a walk I can talk myself away from the pain. I never thought it would hurt so bad. You need to get up and go do something or talk to someone.

[AutumnBorn]

We all have good days and bad days. I've had a bad 10 days running. (We were together for dozens of years. He moved out 2 3/4 years ago. I divorced him 1 3/4 years ago.)

 

I went through months and monhs of crying and discovered I had a hormone imbalance. If you can, talk it over with your doctor. A round of anti-depressants or mood elevators may be called for, especially if you're having a hard time fulfilling your daily obligations. Sam-E, available over the counter, is supposed to be quite good and weight neutral.

 

Listen to happy music.

 

Go out and do something. Doesn't matter what. Take a walk in the park. Go to the zoo. Hang out with friends. Get off the floor.

 

Read. There are lots of books on healing a broken heart.

 

Get an action plan. Fill up every day with working, learning, volunteering, serving the elderly in your community, exercising, cleaning your closets, developing a personal style.

 

You will live through this and come out stronger on the other side. If you're lucky, you'll run into him a year from now and he'll eat his heart out. Make that your goal...make him eat his heart out.

[paulod]

Hey Jenna hows it going??

I know what you are going through, Im just over 3 months into my breakup - for the first 2 months I couldn't stop crying, total hunched down,back against the wall job,snot nose,eyes poppin out,head about to explode stuff, oh and that thing that small kids do when really crying trying to catch their breath..the "huuh..Huuh..Huuh.." thing, I thought it would never end....but it does!

Crying is a natural stress reliever (I looked it up..thought I was being a total wimp/real men don't cry, I'm obviously not a real man kinda thing) but after a good hard cry...how do you feel?? head more clear?better mood?? (if only for a short while)

Go let it out I say, relieve that stress (it's better out than stayin in trust me!) and after a time (you probably wont notice at first)you won't cry as much, it happened with me..I was tidying up and found a snot rag under a pillow and I thought...hang on? I've not cried today? whats going on?? ..hmmm..??and it's been getting better every day, still have ups and downs, bad days, but getting better

Key is to keep busy, focus on stuff you like doing, hang around with mates, go do girls stuff.

It's like Little Lady says "Focus on yourself and your family make yourself pretty, get a pedicure, go work-out think very highly of yourself" and go plan something cool to take your mind off things.

 

Keep smiling, chin up and keep going...you will make it

Emma J, you too! you're gonna make it out of this funk

[Lastchallenge]

WHat helped me was changing my routine... I tried to do sonething differnt everyday... I listen to new music.. I started working more... I feel alot better and it's been 4 month but all I can really say is you will make it... U will look back n laugh

[jenna-is-here]

Thanks Everyone for your suggestions. I actually had a tolerable Saturday in last night. Reading and watching TV. A few of my friends called to go out but I just didnt have the energy.

 

PAUL - you are so funny! I cant wait to find my snot-rag in the couch a few months from now and realize I have not cried!

 

Thank you ALL!