What can be done with used engagement rings?

[sasha1982]

I just have a question about used engagement rings?

If a man has an engagement ring and wants to get engaged again to another woman down the road what are his options?

 

1) Obviously, give the same ring to another woman (OMG tacky and bad omen I think)..

 

2) If the ring was bought from a chain store (Peoples, Kay, Spence, etc.) can they sometimes sell the ring back for a small discount off the purchase of a new ring?

 

3) Sell to a Pawn shop for cash (Lose alot of money that way!!!)

 

4) If a guy goes to a jewellery wholesaler/custom designer can he trade the diamond for another one or put it in another setting?

 

Does anyone know off-hand the various options?

 

Thanks in advance..

[jengh]

He could sell it privately. Have it appraised and sell it on ebay, CL, wherever. More money there than a pawn shop.

[sasha1982]

I know there is an option to re-set the ring but if he wants a different cut/style can a jewellery wholesaler buy the diamond off him and just take some money off what he'd charge for a new ring?

I know you always lose money in the end, but ideally I think a man can at least get as much $ by selling the diamond back to a wholesaler?

[Brigadoon]

I really hope my ex never does number 1. I know it shouldn't matter to me but the thought of him doing that just nearly made me vomit

[sasha1982]

OOh I know girl, that's why I'm asking. My bf keeps dropping hints and I know he was engaged almost 10 years ago and still has the ring in a safe. I know it's a princess cut (which is what he knows I like) so I'm crossing my fingers he wouldn't even think about giving me that ring. I hope he doesn't even re-set the diamond because that still was supposed to be her diamond.

 

I'm just curious how it works (I was engaged a few years ago myself- my ex bought his from People's).

 

I'm curious if a man can at least take the ring and diamond to a jeweller and they can buy it off them, or at least give them a discount off the entire price of the new ring, setting AND new diamond. The jeweller can still re-set the diamond and sell it in another ring to someone else as long as it's a nice diamond

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If he kept that ring in a safe for 10 years rather than selling it right away after his engagement broke off, that already suggests to me that in his mind he figured he would save it in case he gets engaged again. That could mean he gives you the same ring or he gets the diamond removed and re-set.

[sophie274]

It's pretty much a guarantee that he won't get all of his money back, and half I think would be a pretty good deal for him. Diamonds are a bit like cars that way - as soon as you take them away from the jewelry store they lose a ton of value. It doesn't REALLY make sense to me but that's the way it is. I think his best bet would be to go back to the same jeweler.

 

Be very careful with Craigslist - someone advertising an expensive diamond on Craigslist and giving his home address was murdered, along with a few family members of his I think. It can be dangerous advertising something of high value on a website like that. I think going to a reputable jeweler, while not being a money-maker, will be a nice, safe way to make a fair transaction.

[DN]

You could always avoid the problem by saying you don't want a ring at all.

[XxJustMexX]

Some jewelers will pay you by the gram for the gold. Much don't care for the diamonds nowadays as they're not worth much, but gold is way up at the moment... Good time to do this.

[sasha1982]

I can't see him giving me her ring to be honest... That relationship ended VERY badly.. They were only engaged for 2 months, before he asked for the ring back. I don't believe most men would re-use a ring, let alone my boyfriend based on the relationship he had. NOT good karma there lol... Plus it was almost 10 years ago, the value of that ring would be pretty low and my bf makes really good money I think he'd be embarassed giving it to me. It's not even 1 karat.. He only made about 1/4 of what he makes now income wise.

I just wondered in general about engagement rings... I wondered what my ex might do as well if he were to ever get engaged again cause he still has my old ring as far as I know as well and it was very nice.

Plus I've made a comment before (in regards to my ex and ring) about re-using a ring if you ever get engaged again and saying I think it's a bad omen and he totally agreed saying that would be very bad karma.

[savagegirl]

Well tell him you changed your mind and you don't like princess cut anymore. Besides, the round cut diamonds are WAY more blingy.. my fiance proposed to me a couple months ago with a big round diamond. It sparkles like mad, way more so than a princess cut!

[sasha1982]

ahh savage girl that sounds really nice! Is it white gold, or yellow? Just a single solitare or do you have smaller diamonds on the band?

My ex engagement ring was solitare, it did really shine.. The jewellery said round solitares do tend to sparkle more the way the light hits them, as opposed to the square princess cut. Doesn't matter to me really, just don't want a re-cycled ring lol

[FarthestEdge]

I like DN's approach...

 

Personally, IMO, the old ring and the new ring should have nothing to do with one another...It's a bad karma ring, with negative vibes attached...

 

Selling the ring to buy another, resetting the stone, whatever...It's still recycling.

 

If he doesn't want the old ring, then he should sell it. period. But not for the specific purpose of buying YOU a ring....

 

Why not suggest he sell that ring, and use the money to buy something for himself. Celebrate the 'letting go' of the past. Let him subtly know that you don't want your relationship, and thus any symbols of it, tied to that part of his past.

 

Then with that out of the way, if/when he is ready to propose to you, the ring will be long gone and any new ring will be for you, and based upon what he feels is right now, not how much he spent/got for the old one.

[savagegirl]

ahh savage girl that sounds really nice! Is it white gold, or yellow? Just a single solitare or do you have smaller diamonds on the band?

My ex engagement ring was solitare, it did really shine.. The jewellery said round solitares do tend to sparkle more the way the light hits them, as opposed to the square princess cut. Doesn't matter to me really, just don't want a re-cycled ring lol

It's a white gold solitaire 1.1 carat with all the four c's

[savagegirl]

And it honestly doesn't sound like he is going to recycle it with you. He'll probably get you a gorgeous blingy ring.. let us know when it happens!

[sophie274]

It's a white gold solitaire 1.1 carat with all the four c's

 

Doesn't every diamond have four Cs? I mean, they're just descriptors of the diamond.

 

Anyway, I like what FarthestEdge suggested. Also, if he's had it for 10 years he doesn't need necessarily need to sell it before you two get engaged.

 

It sounds like you have very specific requirements about what you want in a engagement ring, in terms of how much it costs and what it looks like, so I hope you two are on the same page.

[savagegirl]

Yeah of course they do.. but I meant mine are all of the good rankings in the 4 c's, as in excellant cut, clarity and colour. It's a Canadian Polar diamond, it's just really gorgeous and clear.

[savagegirl]

I actually really recommend going ring shopping together if you have a certain taste in mind.. my guy wanted to get me something perfect so we went to a bunch of different jewlery stores together so he could get a feel for what I liked. In the end, I was so surprised at how gorgeous it is, and the ring is exactly something that we both love.

[sasha1982]

Farthest Edge, you make some really good points.. Unfortunitely my boyfriend has never asked for my input in much detail. All he knows is that I like white gold and princess cut.. We did talk a few months ago about rings briefly and I showed him a style I thought was pretty. Obviously, it would be up to him what 4'c criteria he could afford.. He at least knows the style I would like.

Every guy is different... My ex had no idea what women like in jewellery, so he had me go "ring shopping" to get ideas and he ended up buying the exact ring I liked the best. It came in 4 different sizes, so it was easy for him to choose the one I wanted that fit into his budget.

My bf has never mentioned what he could afford, nor do I know what he paid for his last ring in the past. All I do know is that it was a good quality ring (4 c's criteria was in the middle-high range) and it was just shy of a Carat. He asked me what carat my ex had bought, which was 1.25.

I do know that he prefers to go to a wholesale jeweller that does custom designs.. You tend to get higher quality rings/bigger diamonds for a fraction of the cost that big chain jeweller stores would charge.

An $8000 ring at People's you could buy for like $5000 at a wholesaler.

I do see what you're saying about the old ring being bad karma, and I do agree.. However as long as a man doesn't re-use the ring (band OR diamond) IMO, I think that's ok.... If he was willing to spend $3000 on a ring for me and he could get $1000 for his old diamond, I don't see a problem with buying me a $4000 ring (using that added $1000) to upgrade a little. (just using those $ figures for example)

I just think as long as the past engagement doesn't affect the new engagement, i.e. feeling a financial loss so deciding not to spend what you normally would because you already spent on the old ring. That's not fair to the new woman you want to make this kind of commitment with.

I don't think that's the case tho... I think he would just sell the diamond and use the $ to ADD on to what he would have wanted to spend for me. But who KNOWS lol.............. I could be totally wrong. Either way in the end it probably doesn't matter.. It's just a piece of jewellery. I think if he was planning on re-using the diamond he would not have told me the size of style of it. Cause if I end up getting a 3/4 carat princess cut, it's going to look a bit fishy lol...

[DN]

I just think as long as the past engagement doesn't affect the new engagement, i.e. feeling a financial loss so deciding not to spend what you normally would because you already spent on the old ring. That's not fair to the new woman you want to make this kind of commitment with.

 

On the other hand I think people have to understand that money doesn't grow on trees - it takes time and effort to earn it and it always makes me uncomfortable when women seem to want to decide how much a man should pay for their engagement ring. Surely it is more about the symbol of commitment than how much he is paying for it? Perhaps I am wrong and it is all about the money.

[sasha1982]

I did not ever make reference to him on how much I'd like my ring to be.. I didn't even tell him what size diamond I want. All I said was style/cut.

Alot of women will say they want 1 carat or 2 or whatever.. I showed him a style that could easily be any size/price that fits into what he can afford. Just as I did with my ex.

[sasha1982]

I also never even asked him how much he spent on his last ring.

None of my business

[savagegirl]

A wholesale place is a good place to go.. the mall jewelry stores are way overpriced for what you get.. my fiance ended up getting mine at Spence Diamonds after we looked at alot of diamonds. They had by far the best price and the best quality compared to places like Ben Moss or Peoples. The inclusions on the diamonds at the malls were just brutal.. the Spence diamonds were so much more gorgeous and better priced. My ring cost my fiance just over $10,000.. but he said I'm worth it. Haha I would have been happy with anything, but he's the type to want the best when he is spending a large amount of money.

[hexaemeron]

Oh, the rampant princessing continues. Now this ring he's kept to give to the person he truly loves isn't good enough for you. I think you're honestly (from your previous threads) toxically materialistic and really need to evaluate your priorities.

 

You should be humbled and honored to get any ring. Because, you're not getting a ring to get bling. You're getting a ring (apparently) to promise himself to you.

 

Funny, didn't hear anything about this here. You're just grumpy about bling.

 

Please don't be like this. For him. And for yourself.

[savagegirl]

Why would she be happy to get a ring that was bought for and worn by her man's ex-fiancee? Ouch.. I would like to see any woman be even remotely happy about something like this. You are a guy so I can understand that you wouldn't understand. I'd be happier to see it come from a pawn shop, then I at least would know he bought it with ME in mind and not some other woman.