Don't Know What I Want...

[weaverwm]

My ex and I have been broken up for a long time, but we havent really stopped the "hooking up/hanging out frequently" thing. However, recently it seems he has been wanting me to back off from texting him or wanting to see him. Honestly, I feel like he may want to move on but doesnt want to say that or tell me that until he actually FINDS someone else to be with.

 

My problem is I don't know what to do or what I want. I would like to be with him but I know that the situation we are in now would never work. WE don't work right now. We argue about everything, don't see eye-to-eye like we used to, and even when we hang out we sometimes rarely talk. BUT it isn't always like this. When we do go periods of time without seeing one another and get back to hanging out, we can talk for hours and get along wonderfully.

 

Bascially, i KNOW we need to go into NC for ANYTHING to ever work out but my biggest fear is that THAT will cause me to lose him. I feel that if we go into NC that he will find another girl to occupy his time and forget about me. One side of me thinks that him dating other girls will actually help, because then he can see that I did care, but then again it worries me that he will find some girl that he feels is better than me because he has only gotten to see the worst part of me for so long now.

 

Last time we went NC for 2 months, he dated a girl (which i DO believe was rebound bc she happened to be staying at the same apartment that he was staying at and both of them had just gotten out of relationships with not so good breakups) but right when they broke up he came back to me and actually acted very happy to be hanging out with me again and treated me very special.

 

But honestly, I don't know if I can do it much longer. This stresses me out to not end and I just want to be happy again. According to him, he doesnt want to get back together and it will "never happen" but then again, he does say a lot of things out of anger and I'll come to find out later that he didn't mean them.

 

Overall, I am very confused. I know we need NC but im afraid of losing him. But at the same time, I'm almost ready to move on. And dont get me wrong, if i could I WOULD. BUT I CAN'T. I have tried and tried and tried for over a year and a half now and he always seems to be in my life in one way or another. Any advice or similar success stories would be great. This situation is turning my world inside out. :sad:

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You lost him the day he broke up with you. What you have had now, the hooking up, was just no strings attached fun for him. He has made it clear there is no getting back together, but he doesn't have a problem stringing you along in order to get some sex and companionship until he meets someone new. I think NC is your best bet because clearly what you have been doing up until now...hooking up with him and being in constant contact with him....has not brought him back to you as a boyfriend and nor has it allowed you to heal and move on.