Honeymood Period

[Rebel-D]

I read this a lot on here and wondered what your thoughts are on it. When do you know it's over and it's the "real thing"?

[Convict7]

You won't know it's over for sure until it's already over. There aren't warning signs or a blinking light that tells you that you're really in love. It just happens as life goes on. One day he/she does something that annoys the crap out of you and you actually love them for doing it. It's a weird series of events.

[_Asti_]

I think when you start seeing someone for who they really are.

You may wake up and find youserlf going "Hmm..do I still like this person.." or things seem alittle more difficult, little petty arguments, or larger fights, things that were once cute may bug the hell out of you, it starts to take a little more work or effort to keep things going and the spark alive...you may overlook significant things because yoiu're caught up in the newness and excitment of the person, that one day you realize that those are major things, there are significant things that you need to make a choice about...

 

My friend has been with her guy about 8 months now. The other day she claimed "The honeymoon is definitely over!" They nit pick at each other, the little things that sort of bothered her at first but she overlooked because she was just head over heels, now drive her crazy, the desire to spend every waking moment together has slowly dwindled and he's pushing away a little wanting some more space....she's seeing things a little more clearer and finds herself at a crossroad wondering if they will continue.

 

And I think once you realize that the rainbows and butterflies and rose coloured glasses you were living behind are taken away, sometimes you need to stop and go "So what's left..." Is there enough there to continue on this relationship. Some people realize there's nothing there once the honeymoon period wears off, the chemistry is no longer there, they see the person differently..their flaws shine through and are bigger than ever.

 

And its a matter of realizing that yes there's lots here to work with, this is amazing person, we have something ggreat, etc is where the foundation for falling in love and growing deeper and further together can happen.

Its almost like a make or break situation.

[Rebel-D]

What if there are no niggles, no fights, no arguments, no small annoying habits? Two people who like their own space so have never needed the "every minute together". Just a very easy, happy, loving relationship.

[KG]

It's been 9 months for us, and that phase is over, LOL! We have some small fights, petty really, but continue to enjoy spending time with each other.

 

Someone said it's over when you can comfortably fart around each other!

[Mimori]

There isn’t an exact moment when the stage passes, and even then it still seems to never end. Since the beginning with my fiancé, he has done nothing but try to bring me happiness-random massages, flowers, amongst other sweet things to keep me happy. I asked him a few times why he seemed to be trying so hard, I was completely happy with him and he didn’t need to put so much dedication in making sure I never get upset, his reply was simply: You’ve had a bad history with men, and I don’t want to give you another experience like that. I want you to have the happiness you deserve and be sweet to you forever.

 

It was so freaking romantic, It’s been a long time since we’ve been together and I think maybe we shifted from that phase into purely love…It was such a smooth transition though I really didn’t notice it. I suppose at first I recognized him as perfect, but we both recognize each others faults too now nonetheless. (I guess that’s when we shifted from the honeymoon stage to reality). He still treats me the same as he did when we first met, and I appreciate him greatly for that (he knows that well), but I don’t think you really notice it happening when you’re in a good relationship (at least I didn’t).

 

Whenever I’ve been with the “wrong guy” I noticed it after a few weeks of dating him… Love is complicated, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. =)

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The honeymoon period is over when you take them off the pedestal and see them for who they really are, warts and all. When life revolves around getting chores done, going to work and real life rather than waiting to constantly make out and have sex...in other words, you can see each other and just live every day life together without having to constantly gaze into each other's eyes and paw each other like horny teenagers. It is about enjoying the mundane things in life, connecting mentally and spiritually, not just physically.

[Rebel-D]

Thanks. I'm in a relationship that's lasted 10 months so far and no sign of coming out of the "honeymoon period". In all previous relationships I've had some kind of issue within the first few weeks. There hasn't really been the immediate immense high that I've known before. I don't know if it's because it started as a friendship.

 

KG -he has no problems farting when I'm there, that's for sure! I'm more discrete lol

[Lady Rashomon]

I don't think I ever actually had a honeymoon period with my husband when we first started dating. Certainly, we were having more sex but I wouldn't say that there was a great deal of emotional closeness. Both of us had a lot of walls up--those gradually came down as our friendship deepened. So I'd say that we transitioned from tension/being emotionally closed to warmth/camaraderie/comfort. But I wouldn't knock the honeymoon stage--lots of psychologists feel that it's actually a necessary basis for a sustained intimate relationship, even when the passion has died out.

[SocialStigma]

I think the honeymoon phase lasted around 1 year for my boyfriend and I. We don't fight a lot still, but we are very comfortable with each other (will burp/fart in front of each other, talk about bowel movements openly etc) and we know that the other isn't perfect. We've seen each other at our worst.

[notsogood]

Ive been with my girl for almost 6 months now. I believe the honeymoon period is over but I barely notice it since we are perfect for each other. Although we both never really put each other on pedestals. At least I didn't. Funny story was I was testing her response last night when I went to take a piss and I left the door open (she was in the other room). She said something like "Did you just leave the door open to pee?" I was like "yup". She just laughed.

 

On a side note i'm gonna propose to her @ the end of summer lol.

[Night Pumpkin]

If you know how to love someone and you have chosen the right partner, the honeymoon never ends. It just soars to new heights every day.

 

It is just shy of two years since I started dating my girlfriend, and every day is still a honeymoon.

[thathoopla]

This I found somewhere online.

 

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away."

 

I promise I'm not spamming (I posted it in 2 other places).

[ellie1202]

thathoopla, i love that quote! and i agree.

 

crazyaboutdogs said: The honeymoon period is over when you take them off the pedestal and see them for who they really are, warts and all. When life revolves around getting chores done, going to work and real life rather than waiting to constantly make out and have sex...in other words, you can see each other and just live every day life together without having to constantly gaze into each other's eyes and paw each other like horny teenagers. It is about enjoying the mundane things in life, connecting mentally and spiritually, not just physically.

 

And I agree except I think when it's really love, you still find yourself looking at them in the middle of all the craziness and thinking, I really love them. And it becomes more about the small things you do for each other just like you said.

[velvette]

for us the honeymoon period lasted 2 years. we didn't have sex or make-out constantly in those 2 years, lol. it was just a really fantastic friendship, and we were really really "in love"--we had that whole pedestal thing going. then we started having little arguments around the 2 year period (when a lot of outside stress weighed down on us), escalating until we nearly broke up at around 2.5 years. somehow we made it through that though, and now... nearly 4 years later, it's a love much deeper than the honeymoon period. now I know it's the "real thing" because we've been through some major life changes together (and still feel just as strongly for each other as the first few months, if not more!). it's EASY being a lovable fun person when you have nothing else going on, but add a little stress to the mix... and you start getting to know different sides of a person.

 

we've decided we love each other, ugly sides and all. I think you can only know the "real thing" once you've been through some tough times and accepted the flaws that came through in those times. I'm glad the honeymoon period is over, honestly. this sort of love is much more rooted, stronger... more enriching really. the hump(s) are ugly, but a necessary part in getting to know someone better, and thus to love them more imo.

 

 

 

edit;

just to add, we only had sex AFTER the honeymoon period was over. right after it was over, I felt like NOW the relationship is finally stable (even though it felt really FUN and exciting and he seemed just PERFECT before that), and was ready to take the next step.

[sepudoms]

This sounds like my guy and relationship. We've been together for 1.5 years and it's definitely gotten better...nothing fading. If there was a transition...I never noticed it. We have always tried to make the other happy.

 

I will say however, since the beginning there have been little things about him that were "annoying", but they are little things. I love him immensely and wouldn't trade him for the world...warts and all.

[Sweetkisses22]

I think it comes when you can actually stand not being with them for like a whole day. When we're in the honeymoon phase we usually want to spend every waking moment with them, once we're comfortable we don't feel the need for that anymore. We want some space to ourselves.