Should a girl really make the first move?

[cupcakes122]

How many hints can a girl drop to a guy whos obviously interested.

if he's "shy" how does he ever expect to have a relationship if the girl has to do all the work?

 

the past 2 guys i went after, are both ex's..

 

I was always told if the guy likes you he should come after you. but at the same time in this day and age, is it okay for the girl to take the first step?

[glucoze]

Thats what I want to know lol

 

 

But.. things have changed so to speak.

Girls have to make the first move sometimes.

 

I just dont want to ever date a pushover.

I dated a pushover and it was not a pleasant experience.

[cupcakes122]

Seriously! lol

[glucoze]

Ya.. it is okay. It may be a little weird but its pretty much normal

[waveseer]

Sometimes you have to make your interest obvious, but in my experience once he gets the hint letting him approach you is best.

[cupcakes122]

oh i'm droppin hints like crazy. he asked me to dinner on friday, but i already ate, and i was so bummed, after the show i asked if he wanted to get dinner, and we ended up going and having an amazing time. so maybe that opened the door for something???

[digger11]

yeah I think the door is opened....

 

and a lot of guys are shy!

 

I make the first move about half of the time. nothing to lose. usually works out great!

[cupcakes122]

how do i even go about it? he's asked me out 3 times already.. and we've actually gone once. so i know he's capable of the asking out part... i'm just sittin there like.. come on dude.. we both like eachother.. Seal the deal already!

[DN]

If he has asked you out three times and you have only gone out once - what happened the other two times?

[digger11]

just write him a text or call him and say "hey, I am going to the park/was wanting to see a movie/wanted to ask if you wanted to go to dinner with me?"

[cupcakes122]

the first time he asked me out, we walked to the place and it was closed (we were at a lounge listening to music and it was during a break) so we walked back to the lounge and just talked the rest of the night.

 

the 2nd time he said "you'd really like this place by my house, we should go sometime"

 

but it was never set in stone.

 

the 3rd time he asked me, and i already ate, but then i was like, ***k it i dont care ill go anywhere with him, and im like lets go! and we got to go.. and had a blast.

[DN]

OK - well, it's your turn to ask him out.

[cupcakes122]

yeah maybe i will.. i'll actually be seeing him tonight, monday and wednesday at some music shows we have lined up. Wed's will have free dinner.. so that should be fun.

[Prefix]

I LOVE the idea of girls making the first move. Girls seem to get the impression that if they make the first move, they'll come off as pushy.. This isn't the case at all, unless you're trying to seduce some bonehead jock who thinks his "manhood" is connected to his ability to be the aggressor in relationships.

 

If a girl were to make the first move on me (that I was attracted to but simply shy to express it, of course), I'd be THRILLED. The thing with most shy guys (like myself) is that we are only shy INITIALLY - because we don't know for sure if our feelings are reciprocated. As soon as she proves that they are (by making a move, not those subtle woman-hints that no one picks up on), then shy guys have no problem pushing things to the next level.

[jonny15]

It's just fine if the girl makes the first move.

[cupcakes122]

should i use the saying "i've never gotten along with a guy so well as much as i get along with you, and i like it"

 

if i say something like that, think he would catch on? or should i just pick out something to talk about and have it revolve around asking if he likes anyone ? i can be tricky like that and get it out of him...

[Prefix]

should i use the saying "i've never gotten along with a guy so well as much as i get along with you, and i like it"

 

if i say something like that, think he would catch on? or should i just pick out something to talk about and have it revolve around asking if he likes anyone ? i can be tricky like that and get it out of him...

 

The more direct the better, in my honest opinion. Don't put him on the spot ("DO YOU LIKE ME?!?"), but definitely do not play games.. I think saying "I've never gotten along with a guy as well as I do with you, I like it with a smile for emphasize should hit it home to him.

 

Good for you, taking initiative. I have a great respect for girls willing to break out of the "social mold" and be the ones to initiate things.

[glucoze]

The more direct the better, in my honest opinion. Don't put him on the spot ("DO YOU LIKE ME?!?"), but definitely do not play games.. I think saying "I've never gotten along with a guy as well as I do with you, I like it with a smile for emphasize should hit it home to him.

 

Good for you, taking initiative. I have a great respect for girls willing to break out of the "social mold" and be the ones to initiate things.

I made a move on a shy guy..

it's taking longer then expected...............

BUT a friend of mine told me he was asking about me the other day.

GOOD SIGN!

 

Because the last time i ran into him he was avoiding me, and then i bumped into him in a grocery store! Haahahaha

[Prefix]

I made a move on a shy guy..

it's taking longer then expected...............

BUT a friend of mine told me he was asking about me the other day.

GOOD SIGN!

 

Because the last time i ran into him he was avoiding me, and then i bumped into him in a grocery store! Haahahaha

 

Good for you! If he's asking about you that is a definite signal of interest from a shy guy. If you're interested in him keep pursuing him, but not too overpoweringly. Just make sure it's known to him that you are indeed interested in him, and are willing to take it further if he is.

 

Once he gets that into his head, he shouldn't have any issues with initiating things to the next step with you (assuming he likes you to begin with of course).

 

Good luck!

[crazylovebug]

I think it's awesome when the girl makes the first move. Someone has to be the first one to put themself out there initially and although society tells us it should always be the guy I don't see any problem with girls making the first move.

[Organs]

Why not? What rules are you breaking? What do you have to lose in making the first move?

[cupcakes122]

Seriously! i know what you mean! his brother always talks about him around me, and the other night i was talking to him, and he looked at me and hes like "my brother's here, want to go see him?"

 

even the other band mates are starting to talk to me... even one's ive never met. something is going on....

[crazylovebug]

Seriously! i know what you mean! his brother always talks about him around me, and the other night i was talking to him, and he looked at me and hes like "my brother's here, want to go see him?"

 

even the other band mates are starting to talk to me... even one's ive never met. something is going on....

 

This is the same guy you wrote about asking for help with shy people...right? I am just reading that post and updating myself on the situation!

[cupcakes122]

yeah. can you tell im a bit annoyed? lol

[testcase]

I mean I consider myself a pretty shy guy when it comes to women... but what do you consider the first move? I mean I like when women let me know they are interested. If I'm interested back then I'll take it from there. If you keep flirting with a guy and hes not making a move I'd say he's either too shy or not interested.