6.5 years age difference, feels like my soulmate

[Life-is]

I am 31, female. He is 25 or thereabouts, male. I just "ran" into HIM 10 months ago. We are each other's mirror reflections. We both are awed and enamored. But have kept a healthy distance. The connection is too intense to mess around with. At the same time, it is calm, silent, strong, affectionate connection, and has grown deeper with time. We read each other's thoughts, are connected by weird coincidences, have a zillion odd things in common. We have an easy trust and friendship. I feel emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical attraction. It is two-way. Nothing official yet.

 

We are both highly independent, have brilliant education and careers. Since the day we met first, we both "know" there is something way too deep for words, and have silently stuck around with each other. We are both single, and are not involved with anyone else.

 

Just want your thoughts on the age difference. I want to marry him down the line!

[Clarity]

It's not that big of a difference. Do you want kids? If so, at what age? That's usually the major complicating factor if there is one...

[Life-is]

I don't care much for kids. When I feel like, I am ready to adopt. I am not gung ho about them and don't have mental deadlines for having them.

[Mauxly]

6.5 is nothing. It seems like something when we are younger, but as we get older and more years under us, those years seem like nothing.

So go for it! By the time you are married 6.5 years will seem like a drop in the bucket.

 

Think about it. When you were 3 years old, didn't a few days or a week seem like FOREVER?

 

When you were 6 years old, one year made all the difference in the world. Underclassmen in grade school were BABIES right?

 

When you were in high school, you'd date someone one or two years your Jr or Senior.

 

In college it was 3-5 year gaps that didn't make you uncomfortable.

 

It goes on and on.

 

Now that I'm nearly 40 a ten year gap is NOTHING to me. Not even something to think about. 15 years is kind of pushing it...but you know what? I'm sure that will change too.

[Life-is]

Thanks Clarity and Mauxly,

 

Yes I know 6.5 is not a lot of difference now. But my only question is--what about when he is, say, 35, and I am 41..that is when my age would begin to "show" whereas he'd be youthful. What about then?

 

I look much younger for my age though. People usually think I am 23/24. Nobody believes I am more than 25.

 

He is The One!

[Speranza]

You are being ambivalent. You say you want to marry him but you want our opinion. You wonder what when you are 41 but say He is The One.

 

If so, then what does his age matter? Is this about YOU or about how you worry it might appear to others?

[Life-is]

Hi Speranza,

 

It is not about me, but him! How would HE feel having a wife who is older in looks...

 

Yes I truly feel he is the one.

 

This question is seemingly "superficial"--but I do wonder if down the years, what he would feel like..

[Mauxly]

Thanks Clarity and Mauxly,

 

Yes I know 6.5 is not a lot of difference now. But my only question is--what about when he is, say, 35, and I am 41..that is when my age would begin to "show" whereas he'd be youthful. What about then?

 

I look much younger for my age though. People usually think I am 23/24. Nobody believes I am more than 25.

 

He is The One!

 

41 isn't when you start showing, unless you've taken really bad care of yourself. I am 39 and I still get hit on by men in thier 20s. It is funny to me now to read this "he is, say, 35, and I am 41.."

 

When I was younger, 40 seemed SOOO old. By the time I was 35 my social circle included people from 25 - 45. 40 no longer seemed old at all. And is certainly doesn't now.

 

I guarantee you that by the time he's 35 and you are 40, your age gap will be MUCH more insignificant than it is now.

[Taikero]

I like older women, and no matter what her age, if I found someone who I identified with as if she was my soulmate, I would be happy every day just to have her in my life.

[Life-is]

Mauxly

 

Smile at "I guarantee you that by the time he's 35 and you are 40, your age gap will be MUCH more insignificant than it is now."

 

Great to know that.

 

Just to make it clear about present situation, the age gap is not even remotely a factor right now. He is the most mature man I have ever met. We are emotionally in sync. And as for looks--we look the same exact age.

 

He feels like my twin soul!

[Life-is]

Tiekero--

 

Great to know that. Yes age is a number. It was just one small fear about future scenario, that made me post this question.

 

Yes it is such a grace to find a human being you can indetify as your true counterpart. The yin and yang as they say.

[Speranza]

But it IS about you! It is about you worrying about HIM.

 

Has HE said he is worried?

 

This is someone determined to punish herself and clinging to straws to make things wrong! lol (and yes, I'm almost fifty and still get hit on by men in their thirties, and if I liked one I wouldn't have a second thought...)

[Life-is]

Speranza,

 

Has he said he is worried? LOL No. He is mute smitted by me!

 

 

I am smitted by him too

[Chalie]

Just want your thoughts on the age difference. I want to marry him down the line!

 

6.5 yrs is really nothing! I have two sisters, the oldest is married to a guy that is 9yrs younger and my second sister is married to a man that is 7yrs younger. Me myself is together with a guy that is 5yrs younger than me.

And we are all very happy with our men.

One of my friends have parents that differs 15yrs in age and they are the cutest couple ever!

So don't worry

[Life-is]

Chalie

 

Thank you

 

The overwhelming response is that 6.5 years is nothing!

[shes2smart]

So, there I was, 37 years old, never married (and ready to) when I bumped into this 26 year old single guy online. 11 years younger than me....yikes!

 

The only thing I knew of 26 year olds was the part timers where I worked. Ewww. He also lived a good 1.5 hour drive away. (Geographically Undesirable) Was not-quite divorced from his first wife (got married when he was 19 and caught her cheating on him). And, to top it off, my first impression of him was, "what an arrogant little twit!"

 

The arrogant little twit and I celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary in July. He still thinks & acts like I am the hottest woman on the planet. The 11 year age difference is a non-issue, really.

 

Seems to be working out ok for us.

[Mauxly]

I have to say that I'm lovin' this thread.

[Life-is]

Shes2smart

 

Great for you!

 

Coincidentally, although "X" (the person I am talking about) is younger, he is the only man who made me think--what an arrogant little bird. He has an "attitude", and he has a golden heart. What a combination.

 

Frankly, I am too picky with men. None of them seem to make the cut. I don't go on dates. I don't go looking for relationships. Though I am good looking, witty, smart, successful etc, when it comes to men, I am like meh. Couldn't care less. Can't remember most of them a week after meeting them, even if they are Harvard grads or Brad Pitts or whatever. So, X is the first person in 10 years who made me sit up and take notice. He has been a true equal. Keeps me on my toes. Yet is loyal and committed. Whereas men my age have simply adopted the wrong startegy of "chasing." Being chased is a HUGE turn off for me. So X not chasing me was such a relief. He has been persistent but not a pest. So yes, his attitude did make me think--what an adorable and arrogant thing I have run into!

 

 

[cupcakes122]

i have that same connection with the guy i'm interested in. but i would say maybe make it official... and just be with him. he sounds amazing, and i would go for it. age shouldnt matter, just do what your heart tells you.

[Speranza]

Shes2smart

 

 

 

Frankly, I am too picky with men. None of them seem to make the cut. I don't go on dates. I don't go looking for relationships. Though I am good looking, witty, smart, successful etc, when it comes to men, I am like meh. Couldn't care less. Can't remember most of them a week after meeting them, even if they are Harvard grads or Brad Pitts or whatever. So, X is the first person in 10 years who made me sit up and take notice. He has been a true equal. Keeps me on my toes. Yet is loyal and committed.

 

 

 

Yeah - I can see why you're having doubts... loyal and committed AND your soulmate...? Nah, walk away...

 

 

 

 

[Life-is]

cupcakes--great to know a similar connection.

 

you said "just be with him." Yes walking away would amount to dishonoring my inner voice. As for making it official, I think what I could do is allow myself to express my feelings and friendship through small actions, instead of being a little too cautious as I am being now. Because if I hesitate, he reflects it back.

 

Thanks for your feedback..

[Life-is]

Speranza

 

Sigh. Follow my heart, yes, coz anything else would amount to living a lie...

[Speranza]

So why the sigh? Ye gods, if I found that connection with someone I wouldn't care if he was twenty years younger! (Although that would make him nearer my daughters' age so I'd have to clear it with them - but they've TOLD me I need a younger guy!)