Boy does today suck.

[GenoGeno]

I don't think i've cried any harder than today since the break-up. I feel like i'm literally dying inside. I have way to much hope that I need to get rid of but don't know how...I want it all just gone. I know my ex is the nicest most kindest caring person in the world...but why she doesn't she see that she is torturing me by contacting me all the time to talk. Sometimes it seems like she's warming up to me then she can be completely cold to me like today and it really makes me feel the worst. It doesn't help I know she has been going out to tons of clubs, making lots of new friends every night...while I'm stuck at my house with no way of leaving. I go crazy just sitting here thinking about what if i had just treated her better this never would have happened and I'd still be with the person I love more than anything. I feel so much guilt and pain it's almost unbearable at times. I'm supposed to be hanging out with her 'as friends' next week and I have no idea how that is going to pan out. I honestly wish i never met this girl. Sorry guys just needed to vent big time, my head feels like it's going to explode.

[learning2relax]

We have all been there or are there now. No need to apologize. That is what this is for.

[minou]

I'm sure how you treated her was really not so bad. People learn and grow over time. Those who love them stick around or come back. You are a great guy. Stop beating yourself up. If seeing her or speaking to her keeps putting you in this role of the one who was the bad guy, cut it off! Maybe then she'll miss you and realize she was too harsh. If not, hell with her. She may not be as sweet as you think. I feel like you are idealizing her. She certainly isn't patient, understanding or forgiving, gem qualities in my book.

[GenoGeno]

Yeah she even told me she holds a lot of anger towards me and hasn't fully forgiven me. Fell out of love with me because i was so brutally mean sometimes. And I can admit, I wasn't the best and i know this. No boyfriend makes his girlfriend cry non stop about stuff. I blame it on stress but really i have nobody to blame but myself...she tried to stick by me and help me and i just was plain out mean. She said how could she love someone who hurt her constantly and it's true. I'm just having a hard time coping with the guilt i have for all that.

[amandamarie]

Have you told her how much it hurts that she continues to contact you all the time? Look, I will be honest - I was in your shoes months ago. My ex broke up with me 10 months ago, and I stayed in touch with only limited times of NC up until a month ago. I guess I was holding onto hope, thinking that he wanted me back because he kept contacting me all the time, and that eventually he would realize it if we kept in touch. You should read my old threads - I felt tortured for months, always reading between the lines, trying to let go of the hope but scared to as well, and really living in denial.

 

I am not sure you really can let go of the hope if you are still in a lot of contact honestly - maybe you can, but I think it will take you a lot longer, and I am really speaking from personal expereience here. Honestly I still have a little hope, and the way I was able to let go of most of it was just kind of laying it out there how I felt, and then going NC about a month ago. Being in touch with him just made me read too much into every little thing, it is so draining, and it really held me back from moving forward. Maybe you can handle it, I am sure some people can, but for me it was hard to move forward when you constantly have that hope that comes from continued communication (especially when it is positive - but not reconciliation).

[rtyre2]

Yeah she even told me she holds a lot of anger towards me and hasn't fully forgiven me. Fell out of love with me because i was so brutally mean sometimes. And I can admit, I wasn't the best and i know this. No boyfriend makes his girlfriend cry non stop about stuff. I blame it on stress but really i have nobody to blame but myself...she tried to stick by me and help me and i just was plain out mean. She said how could she love someone who hurt her constantly and it's true. I'm just having a hard time coping with the guilt i have for all that.

 

You sound like me a month ago when my relationship first ended. Just let her go and stop talking to her; No-contact will heal your wounds.. If she truly loved you as much as she thought she would of stuck around trust me. You seeing her 'as friends' is going to do nothing but instill false hope in your heart; and then when you see her open up to other people its going to hurt you more. I promise the longer you talk to or hangout with her the more damage you do to yourself in the end. Let it go theres better out there.

[GenoGeno]

Does anyone believe in fairytale love stories of stuff seeming like it's hopeless and in the end it works. That's what i feel like I've been living for the past 2 months almost 3. and I'm kind of getting tired of it. It's sad to say, things don't always turn out like the movies.

[rtyre2]

Does anyone believe in fairytale love stories of stuff seeming like it's hopeless and in the end it works. That's what i feel like I've been living for the past 2 months almost 3. and I'm kind of getting tired of it. It's sad to say, things don't always turn out like the movies.

 

We all feel like that after a breakup... You have to accept whats going on; you haven't accepted its over yet

[learning2relax]

Does anyone believe in fairytale love stories of stuff seeming like it's hopeless and in the end it works. That's what i feel like I've been living for the past 2 months almost 3. and I'm kind of getting tired of it. It's sad to say, things don't always turn out like the movies.

 

 

I don't watch movies anymore. They P!$$ me off! It is that crap that gets in your head and messes with your brain and gets you all goofy when you fall for someone. Only to be let down in the end. It is a movie - no different than the fake blood and guts in horror flicks. It doesn't exist.

 

Guess I am still a bit bitter about being dumped..........

[rigguy]

I don't watch movies anymore. They P!$$ me off! It is that crap that gets in your head and messes with your brain and gets you all goofy when you fall for someone. Only to be let down in the end. It is a movie - no different than the fake blood and guts in horror flicks. It doesn't exist.

 

Guess I am still a bit bitter about being dumped..........

 

In life almost everything turns out complete opposite to what you may see in flicks. Don't they always pick most incredible stories to make them into movie. The truth is s**t happens, you can't do or say to nothing

[mca1975]

I can relate from your girlfriends side. I also have great empathy for you aswell. I was treated badly by my ex-boyfriend and he seems to not know how to "care" properly for someone and is very selfish, and it hurts so much that he was like that after we lost our baby, there is great pain there for me over this, and for him. I know my ex is feeling like you are right now, but it seems he hasnt been taught how to love properly and care properly for someone else. But yes, staying in contact is just killing you and you need to be strong and refuse to talk with her and/or meet up. It is up to you to make this happen. You can explain this to her.

 

You are full of regret, but we have all done things we regret, but if your GF has fallen out of love with you, then there is nothing you can do to change it, you need to look forward after you have grieved enough for this loss. You will look back on this and learn from it and you will actually feel at peace about your ex, because at the end of the day, she has been strong and put a stop to a relationship that wasn't working. It is beneficial for BOTH of you that this has come to an end, as sad as it is. Feel better x

[sphx26]

Does anyone believe in fairytale love stories of stuff seeming like it's hopeless and in the end it works. That's what i feel like I've been living for the past 2 months almost 3. and I'm kind of getting tired of it. It's sad to say, things don't always turn out like the movies.

 

 

Talk about movies, that is why, it's best to watch movies with tragic/bad endings (by tragic i mean they don't end up together; no dying or any of that gory stuff,lol). Movies with tragic endings offer a more realistic view of how it is when a relationship ends. The movies help me to move on! but that's just me though.

 

I agree with the posters on here, go with NC. Let her know how it's affecting you and how you need to move on. IMO you can't be friends now since there's so much steam going on. You need to clear your head off and focus on yourself first. All of us went through all of what you're feeling, and based on my exp. there is no sense holding on to the past, so let it go. Don't look back, and start rebuilding your future without her in it. Easier said than done, I know, but if you look at the threads posted by some, people manage well. So if they, or if "we" can do it, then so can you! Stay strong.